I hate the way he looks when he is worried about me. Gerard is one of those types of people that could NEVER play poker. Even though he does not know it he wears all of his feelings and expressions on his face. I am more of a poker player.
He is worried about me traveling alone. He does not want to be worried but he is. When I tell him not to worry he tells me that does not make me feel any better. I would have loved to have Gerard come with me for both trips. I guess we are too frugal for our own good at times. He only gets 2 weeks of vacation time. We have discussed this topic at length. I could recite to you all the pros and cons of him traveling with me but the reality is that he does not have enough vacation time to be able to go. We have come to the decision that we would rather use that time for when she comes home.
Then there is the financial aspect of him traveling. If he were to take the time off from work without pay the cost could change our plans for what we are going to do when she comes home. Then there is the matter of the travel costs that we will have to incur. It just does not seem reasonable for him to come at this point.
We have left the option open for him to travel for trip # 2. I think it will depend on how smoothly this trip goes for me. I also think it will depend on how nervous he is about me traveling alone with Little Banana. I am a real fan of personal safety. The facts are that a woman is more vulnerable when she has a small child to also watch out for. I am not saying that Russia is a scary place to be or full of crime because these are my thoughts for any place in the world.
School Days - November 2023
5 months ago
8 comments:
Is your region okay with your husband not meeting your referral before trip two? Some judges I have heard of have been hard on families that have done similarly (different regions).
heather
www.russianblessings.wordpress.com
Maybe Gerard could meet you all in Moscow on your return trip--Trip #2--this stage is usually about 5 to 7 days while you have the little one checked at the American Medical Clinic and then you have your Embassy visit and Consulate visit. . .He could be there for all or part of that. . .and you may be ready for a loving and familiar face by then! A month is a long time. . .Just a thought!
Hugs!
Are you putting his name on her birth certificate? (not sure if you can do that if you are adopting as a single???) I realize you are not officially married, but if he is on the birth certificate maybe he gets paternity leave that could cover some time for him to meet you on Trip 2 and then still have his vacation time as well.
Thankfully, my DH gets 12 weeks, yes 12 weeks of paid paternity leave upon birth or adoption of a child. And that is on top of 4 weeks of vacation time. Mind you, he works for a LARGE global family friendly company with excellent benefits.
Just throwing an idea out there. Hope it all works out......I may have to go through trip 2 alone after court....but for a whole different reason....we have 2 kids who need someone home......so DH will have to fly home after court and leave me to tackle the rest and the homecoming by myself. Although I'm wracking my brain to figure out how to change these circumstances.....I am a chicken and don't want to do any of it alone, LOL!
Hugs!
You'll be fine, but it is cute that Gerard worries. I was lucky enough to have my mother travel with me on trip 3, but I would have done it alone too! So excited about your trip!
Joy, I am a fiercely independent women. Heck, I thought nothing about taking 3 boys ages, 4, 3, and 6 mo. to New Orleans for Mardi Gras all by myself only armed with only a double stroller and a baby sling. And I'm taking Lexi on a plane trip by myself in June. So I know you CAN do the 2nd trip alone and everything WILL be fine.
BUT, all that said, I would move mountains to make sure that Gerald joins you in Russia for the 2nd trip -- even if it just means meeting you in Moscow. Not only will he be a HUGE comfort and help to you, it will be the experience of a lifetime for you to be there together as a family! JMHO! [[[Hugs]]]
I think you'll be okay alone. I felt very comfortable in Russia. It would be hard to return home by yourself on the long flight but you could it. I also like the earlier comment of just having Gerard meet you in Moscow for a few days. He could see the country and escort you home!
Hi Joy,
I cannot believe in less than a week you will have that little banana in your arms! This is almost surreal for me - I cannot tell you how excited I am for you! I feel bad that Gerard can't go. I can understand why he is worried, but I know you will be just fine. I know you must be getting that excited nervous feeling - This is really it!! I will be praying for an amazing 1st trip for you!
Teresa
I've been reading along for quite a while and wanted to share my experiences of traveling alone vs. with help. I've done 2 adoptions - 1 in Chelyabinsk and 1 in Ekaterinburg (twins) as a single parent. For both adoptions, I traveled alone for the first trips and it is fine. It is such a whirlwind that before you know it you're home - you're never really alone except for once you pass security in the airports and then at your hotel. The agencies are really good (most are anyway) at safety. BUT, I would have been hard pressed to get my daughter home alone on my first trip and with the twins, impossible! But, with the one child I really needed help because of all the things to do after picking her up. I would highly recommend that Gerard or someone meet you there the day you pick her up. I couldn't imagine doing that alone and not being way too vulnerable with luggage, airport security, trip to the embassy, etc. All that will definitely take 2!
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