Wednesday, December 11, 2013
You ask then why are you awake at 3 am. I simply can not sleep. I had to finish my final exam by this coming Sunday and I felt as though it was weighing on me. I woke up and took it. I passed the class with an A. That is done and completed and I feel so much better.
Earlier last night Papa came over to help with the Christmas tree. Gerard was only able to lift the tree into the stand then had to take a nap. I fixed the branches, Papa and Anna did all the ornaments. Thank goodness he came over because I was fearing that we would have a repeat of our first Christmas with a tree without any ornaments. Now I understand that it is not about the decorations but there is something so wonderful about a tree that is decorated.
This year as I helped to unpack my ornaments I felt a little sad for Gerard's Mother. She lost all of her ornaments in last years flood, she lost her Mother's Nativity too. Anna kept asking when I got this ornament or that ornament. I know I am blessed.
Here is a picture of Anna and Papa after the tree was decorated. More about the Nativity tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
So I wish I had been able to get pictures of her in the snow today but I just could not. Maybe later. Here are the pictures that I took last week for her Christmas card.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
We just finished our Daisy meeting. The other troop leader asked..."Anna what sre you having for dinner?" To which she replied without skipping a beat. "Taco bell!"
So she has finished two serving of rice, a serving of cheese and picked apart a taco. My little girl os becoming an eater.
Here she is plotting with her Daddy as to which movie we will watch tonight for cozy time.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Thanksgiving was spent at our home as usual. This year was a little different as every year is a little different in our house. We usually have a random guest which this year is to first time in approximately 15 years that we did not. We did host Gerard's cousin and his children. About two weeks ago Aunt Nel had a massive stroke. I was home when Gerard's mother called me. I dropped everything to go assess the situation. To make a long story short she needed to have the clot removed from her brain. She has some function of her left side but it is improving everyday. Because Gerard's cousin lives so far away he wanted to come down to see his mother on Thanksgiving. After all the food was eaten I was looking over the advertisments (it is somewhat of a tradition) and I found the camera I wanted. Oh boy the deal was a good one. I looked at Gerard and he looked at me and told me to get it. I am one lucky girl.
So because I had to work on Thanksgiving night my sisters were sent out into the craziness to purchase my new camera. Jenny (the one with the triplets) took it as a fun night out. She got everything on her list and my list with the help of Julie and Joan. Poor Joan is such a sensitive one and I am afraid the crowds stressed her out but in all I do think that they enjoyed shopping together.
I have about two more weeks until my class is complete. I have just finished my last quiz so that leaves only one presentation and the final exam. This was a fun class. I know that sounds weird but I liked that I was able to manage this class without taking too much time away from Anna.
Tonight we had official Daisy scout business. It was the annual Christmas tree lighting in out town. The mayor spoke and it was quite nice to see that he was not afraid to mention Christmas or Jesus in public. In church today the Priest was talking about how Jesus has been removed from so much of our public areas. I am not a fan of the Macy's day parade (I know I heard you all gasp). I have never really liked it but today when the priest asked if anyone saw the balloon of baby Jesus no remembered seeing it...well because it was not there. Hmmm I wonder if that is one subconscious reason why the parade never appealed to me?
My Daisy scouts are still learning how to act like a Girl scout but in all I think they did a great job. As we were getting ready to go I looked at Gerard and asked if he was coming too. He responded with "Is this something that the dads get to come to?" I teases me about how official our Daisy business is and yes I am talking his ear off about it. We all piled into the car to meet up with the other girl scouts. The other mothers are really quite nice and I probably would have not met them if it were not for the Daisy scouts. I was a little surprised to see that all but one father came (I know he was working his new wife did however come). I was so glad Gerard made the decision to go.
Monday, November 25, 2013
On some level I feel guilty...why me? How come I was able to complete my adoption of Anna? The answer is it was just meant to be. It was God's plan. I will not lie I miss reading stories about other who have gotten paperwork completed, a referral or travel dates. Knowing that real families can be formed through adoption is something that only a very small percentage of people can truly understand. I feel so blessed to be able to hold my little girl...okay now I am crying.
Fast forward to our Daisy meeting the other night. There is a little girl in the meeting that is quite sweet and has been a friend of Anna's for a couple of years. The last two meeting I have noticed that she has gone out of her way to be mean to Anna. Anna keeps trying to sit next to her and partner up with her but it is met with a sour face or unkind words. During the meeting the Mother asked me in front of everyone if Anna and Nicole were having a problem? I was a little taken back by this that she thought this was the right place and the right time for this discussion. Then she informed me that another mother from last years preschool class does not like me at all again in front of everyone. I ignored the comment then and moved on with the meeting. She then implied that Anna had something to do with her daughter having a bathroom accident. I shut her down and told her we could talk later.
On one level I have a very thick skin but on another level I am really quite fragile inside as I think many people are. I talked with my sister about it and she agreed that this was not the time or place to discuss any of those topics because there were seven little girls who were listening.
Today I had to drop something off to this mother. As I was leaving I asked her to please come to me privately if there is a problem between the girls. I told her that I never want either of them to be put on the spot. She agreed. I also told her that if someone does not like me that she can also keep that to herself. Her response was as a child she was taught that if she heard someone talking about another that it was her job to make sure that this person knows.
I was floored. I asked her what if that person thought that the comments were hurtful? She said that it was how she was brought up. I guess this interaction really highlights how differently we were all raised. I was always told that if it is something that might hurt another it was best to forget it and never mention it again. I just can not shake this feeling that she was intending to hurt me. Certainly there are plenty of people who do not like me. I am not sure what the value is in knowing about these random people's feeling of me are. I am honestly not sure if I am more hurt knowing that this random person does not like me or am I hurt because of this person who I thought was my friend wanted to make sure that I knew I was not like.
This has me concerned about the relationship of our daughters. I feel like I have lost trust in this parent. I guess we will see how this plays out. Forgiveness is an easy word to say but something a difficult thing to achieve. I need to work on shaking that negative feeling and to forgive more easily and freely.
One thing that I have taken away from this interaction is I have to be even more valiant to teach Anna my beliefs. I want her to be kind, honest, and compassionate. This is a good lesson to remind me that I need to teach her to be all of those things.
In the words of my very wise younger sister...If you are not going to try to lift me up please do not push me down.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
We did a little craft. Anna's did not quite turn out the way I had planned but this is her craft not mine.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Well this was his 4 day weekend. Friday was great because we both got to take Anna to school. Gerard and I had lunch out together. Saturday was a wash. I got upset early in the day and could not get myself together for the rest of it, then I was off to work. Sunday afternoon they woke me up and we decided that pumpkin picking was the plan for the day.
We decided to go to the same farm that we went to when Anna was first home. I showed her the pictures that I had posted here of the blog (thank you blog). She laughed and wanted to recreate them. So we did our best. I was surprised how beautiful the pumpkins were this year.