My Plan of Action

I wanted to let everyone know that tonight as I write this I am at ease. I have spent the better part of the day thinking about this situation and mostly attempting to find something positive about the what information I have learned.

First let me say that in no way do I blame my agency. I know this may be a hard statement to read for some but I actually am glad that I was given this information to reflect upon. In no way is this development their fault. This is just a bump in the road to remind me of why I have been chosen to adopt. Yes I say chosen because that is how I feel. Adoption is not for everyone. Thank goodness or I would have waited 5 or 6 years for a referral. So Shhhh do not tell anyone that adopting a child is a good thing and that these children are the best thing that has ever happened to adoptive parents. That is our secret! (please note the light heartiness in my voice because that is how I am feeling)

This afternoon I spoke with my agency representative and I have been told not to worry. That is easier said then done but I will do my best. My plan of action is this (I am a plan of action girl you must have a plan) I will prepare for court. How will I do so? I am going to finish her room, make a list of the clothing that I will bring with me, organize stuff that will be for donation and purchase the gifts that I want to give to the care takers who have cared for her all of her life. What do you get someone who care for you daughter for years? I will think of something I am sure.

A few of my blogger friends know the whole story because you have either gotten a crazy email or called on the phone I can not tell you how much I appreciate just knowing that so many are willing to lend an ear or send up a prayer for me. I am blessed beyond words.

I have found what is positive about this situation. Sometimes it can be hard to find and other times it smacks you square in the face. Tonight when I was on the telephone with a friend it hit me what was positive about this development. That is all I will say for now and it is there is something very positive that has happened and I will one day reveal what it is but not today.

Very simply put I am putting this is God's hands. This may sound lame to some but what other choice do I have. I believe that I have been put into many of these situations because I have that faith that this will work out. I believe that nothing happens by accident and there is a plan. Please rest easy tonight I am at peace.

I want to pass on a comment that a fellow blogger friend sent to me.

"Be brave and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the Lord, your God , who marches with you; he will never fail you or forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6 Kim thank you so much I needed that right at the very time I got it.

There has never been a statement that is more true. I am replacing my fear with the thoughts that God will not fail me. Even if this adoption fails to be completed there is a reason and a purpose for each hardship. God does not want to see me upset or cry.

The next 14 days can not go fast enough for me. If I could get the court date moved up I would. Now the wait feels long but I am in this for the long haul. I do not want to be a fair weather Mother nor will I be.