I know that earlier in the week I said that I was going to wait until Thursday or Friday to call my agency to see where I stand for travel dates. I just could not hold out. I should not to expect to here anything until the end of next week. Honestly, that is good enough for today.
It is so hard to not be impatient. During this whole process I have tired to not be impatient because I really do think that nothing good comes out of things that are forced.
I know from reading others blogs that this wait is the exciting one. I really want to cherish every minute of this part. I am not so sure that I be able to be so patient after I have met the little banana. I was holding a baby last night at work that was small not as small as she was when she was born but close. The funny thing about babies is when you love them and hold them they calm down fall asleep and get so warm. If you are not a baby lover they cry. Okay that is just my opinion but I have held and cared for close to 7000 babies.
The funny thing is that when you care for a group of babies one or two usually stand out of the crowd. This is not to say that the others are not lovely or cared for but that the workers are usually draw to one or two babies.
My biggest concern for attachment and bonding is not on the baby attaching or bonding with me but the other way around. I am worried that I will not attach to the baby. You are thinking to yourself that is just crazy talk but wait. I have been so clinical in my care of a newborn for so long that this is what scares me. When new parents see their babies they change. Their tone softens, they walk quieter but most importantly the way the touch them is different. Will I get that feeling? I hope and pray that I do. I tell crazy little stories about Gerard and the way he is because I already see that change happening to him.
Being alone with the little banana I think for a couple of months will be the best thing for us. I honestly and looking forward to traveling alone because there will be no one else for her to prefer. Is that selfish maybe. Is that important? Without a doubt YES.
School Days - November 2023
5 months ago
13 comments:
Your concern that you won't be a good mom is proof that you are going to be a great mom. You will not believe the love for you child once she is yours. Even if it takes time to grow, that happens with some biological parents. Your relationship will happen as it should.
I can tell from your excitement over her photo that you have a lot a love to share with this child. Please don't worry if there isn't that Love at First Sight (or touch) when you 1st hold her. I cried when we met Lexi for the first time, but I didn't fully give her my heart until the day we walked out of that baby home forever.
We had to wait months for travel dates the first trip and weeks for trip two. It was extremely nerve-racking at the time, but thankfully everything worked out perfectly!
I pray the same for you!
I think it is good that you are antsy for travel dates. It shows how much you want to meet your daughter.
After having some attachment issues of our own, I don't blame you for wanting your daughter all to yourself! It is hard to share knowing all you've gone through to bring your daughter home! Luckily, your little banana is younger and should transition much easier!!
Can't wait until you get dates!!
P.S. Loved the outfits you bought.
You are NOT crazy to feel this way! You are basically strangers when you're put together and it takes time to get to know each other and truly fall in love. You'll be fine. There are many other reasons to stress, this is not one of them!
Crossing my fingers for you from Houston!
Hi Joy,
I am so glad you put this attachment post out there. It is the same thing I sometimes worry about -Reading these comments helped me as well.
I can feel your excitement in your posts! I can't wait till you get your travel dates and will finally be able to meet the little Banana in person!!
We were worried as well about the attachment part, but the second they put that little man into my arms, I was mush. Months later...still am.
It is okay to guard your heart a little until it is final.
You are a brave woman to travel alone!
You will just melt when you see her. I just can't wait to read all about it. I sure hope you'll be able to blog while you're there!!
You are correct about you attaching to the baby. I think these children know you love and care for and about them and they attach almost instantaneously. As much as we say we do too, it really does take some time. But, not too long! I think I was head over heals in love on Trip #1 but the attachment really set in by the time we came home from Trip #2. Be patient! Love happens!
Attaching to your child is just as important as your child attaching to you and I think it's great that you know it's something that might take time! You are right - this is the exciting wait but it DEFINITELY doesn't make it any easier! :-) I hope you hear something next week!
For me, I was attached to Liam the first time I held him and he smiled at me. My heart just melted and hasn't been the same since. I have no doubt that you will be an awesome mom!
It is not crazy talk! There is definitely a period you need to go through when you feel like a babysitter and then transition to mom. It is totally normal and is all part of the attachment for you. I went through that with #2 and have many friends that went through it too. Each person is different, the important thing to remember is that it will happen!
Kim
As I'm sure some of these comments assured you, you are not crazy. It took me 6 months until I really started claiming Isabel as my daughter and fully bonded with her. You'll get there when you do. The important thing is not to obsess about it too much. (but that's hard for any woman I think)
just me
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