Anonymous said...

First let me tell you that when I first started this blog I set it so that I would not be able to receive anonymous comments. When I traveled for my first trip back in March to meet Anna I changed the setting so that my family members could easily leave comments. To my surprise I got so many beautiful comments from those whom I have never met.

I know in my heart changing that setting to get comments from those who I do not know was the right decision to make at the time and even now. In my last post I was given some in my opinion very sound advice about getting Anna to sleep. There have been so many people who have prayed for Gerard and I and most importantly Anna that at this point I could not imagine changing the setting back to exclude comments from anonymous people.

With that being said if you have left an anonymous comment here that has been positive or helpful in anyway. Please comment away. I love to hear from others who can help me to be a better Mother to Anna and more importantly a better person. My Mother who reads the blog daily was in shock by the number of nice people who said nice things even when they did not have too as she puts it.

With that being said I have received a few not so nice comments recently. Here is one of them. I copied and pasted it so that it would not be missed by anyone who has already read the post and the comments attached.

Anonymous said...
Would your Father be proud that you can't get married because he can't walk you down the aisle? Sounds like an excuse to me. Will Gerard adopt Anna or will that be a "common law" relationship also?

All I can say is WOW! Little mean spirited don't you think. I guess some would say that I have it coming being a single person in a relationship with a man for a number of years and having had one attempt at getting married to that man. But WOW! To talk about my Father who has died as if you knew him. You have a big set of B---S!

First off I will let you know that my feeling are not hurt if that is what you were attempting to do in regards to not being married for that reason I laugh. When I talked to Gerard about this comment this morning and yes there are many comments that I talk to Gerard about every day I told him that I relieved that you made this comment to me.

Let explain, You were trying to be mean to me some one whom you only think you know. You wanted to ruin my day, create insecurity or perhaps hope that I would lash out at you in a mean manner. Sorry not going to happen here. I would rather you be mean to me on the internet then mean to someone in person or who can not handle comments like this without getting their feelings hurt. I will pray that you see that sometimes comments that you make to a person can be hurtful. This is a good lesson for all of us to take away from this comment. I do try to see something positive in everything that is negative. I will ask you to reevaluate your own relationships before you evaluate mine.

Now before I close in this comment you pose some very good questions that I would like to clear up. Mom sorry that you will read this post about Dad right now because I know that you are very sad that he is not here right now. I know that you have cried because you miss him and he is missing out on holding Anna right now. We will talk about it later so no need to post a comment here.

Would my Father be proud of me? I think that was your first question

ABSOLUTELY! He would be proud that I am a strong independent woman who at times may still need her Father even though he is not here. He would be proud that I have built and owned many different homes. He would be proud that I have saved money to adopt Anna and then some. He would be proud that I go to work everyday and do my very best.

He would often say "Do everything the best way you can, even if you are a ditch digger then dig the very best ditch you can dig."

When we were about to get married my Father became very ill. I cared from him the best way I knew how on the unit where I also worked for over 3 months. I gave him pain medications, bathed him and watched die pretty much on my birthday. Hmmm Anonymous could you do that? Have you done that?

People in our families acted poorly when my Father was sick. Yes, both families acted poorly. Gerard and I were young. After my Father died I had a very hard time keeping it together. I missed him more then I ever thought would be possible and still do. This may sound like an excuse to you but I am the one who is living it. Those are my feelings.

Gerard and my Father actually had a very nice relationship. Which I am so glad that they did. My Father lives in my heart and in my memories that Gerard and I and the rest of my family have about him. At that point in my life and in the shape that I was in emotionally my Father would have suggested that I hold off on getting married too.

On the subject of "common law", in New Jersey there is no such thing. I am not entitled by law to anything of Gerard's but his love an affection and the same for him. Do we have legal documents for our possessions and medical wishes? Yup! I encourage you to do the same. Actaully I have just put this on my list of 'Things to do' because they must now be updated. Thanks! (See another positive)

As most know I work in a newborn nursery and I have seen thousands of fathers, I can tell you Anna could do far worst then Gerard as her "common law" Father. If there is such a thing. He loves her unconditionally, period end of the story. He will provide for her and actually already has. He will keep her as safe as possible. That is what a Father is supose to do after all. Do not pretend to know what our relationship is about and I will not speculate about you and your relationship with your children, husband/wife/lover or God.

I will pray that in the future you mouth and thoughts will only be kind towards others.