Ekaterina and a small box of concern

In the short time that I spent at the agency on Monday I actually acomplished more then I thought I would have. When I was in Russia visiting Little Banana for the first time I got the very unique opportunity to meet some of the children who will be participating in the Hosts for Hope program that my agency sponspers.

One child in particular really caught my attention because I actually got to sit down and talk with her and kind of get to know her. This experience was completely different then meeting my little Banana for many reasons. The child's name was Ekaterina and she was 14 years old. I considered adopting this child as well but after much thought, consideration and lot of prayer I thought that was best for me was to not adopt her. Please understand that I was crushed when I realized that I probably could not handle both little banana and Ekaterina.

Some where in the back of my mind I had a dream that I would somehow be able to make this happen. Perhaps after little banana was home for a couple of months. I also dreamt that perhaps someone I knew would be interested in adopting her as well so that I could have some contact with her. I know that this sounds strange but she has never left my thoughts and prayers.

Which brings me to why I asked about her again when I was at the agency this week. I usually check out the waiting children for my agency at least once a week. I was comforted to see that Ekaterina was connected with a Host family for the summer program. This past weekend a reader asked me why Ekaterina was off the waiting list? I was not aware that she was off the list.

So when I was at my agency one of my questions was of course what happened to Ekaterina. To my surprise she is off the list for a VERY good reason. She is going to be fostered by a Russian family. This is the best possible situation for Ekaterina because when I spoke with her she was not really sure that she wanted to be adopted in the United States. I am sure that she was worried about the language barrier among other things. I feel like my prayers for her have been answered. I can not tell you all who have prayed for her how thankful and blessed that I have so many who were willing to take a minute and pray for her. This is a wonderful thing!!

Now for my situation I also got some news that there may be a Russian family who could be interested in Little Banana. My agency has tried to reduce some of my fears. I hope to know more in the next couple of weeks because my coordinator is away until next week.

Please I fully understand that she is not my child yet. I know that if she is placed with a Russian family who loves her I then that is God's plan for her. I will rejoice in the fact that she has a 'mommy' to tuck her in, someone to kiss her boo-boos and keep her safe. Having her placed with a loving family be it Russian or American is in her best interest and that is what I am most interested in for her. Will I love her forever? YES! Will she always be in my prayers? YES!

As for my feelings I am a bit worried. I have a small box of concern about this situation. I was told to keep preparing for her because the agency does not believe that the Russian family will take her but how does one prepared for the arrival of a little girl and protect your heart from being hurt if the little one does not come.