The funniest things happen in T@rget. The other day I was in T@rget looking at a registry and so one walks up and asks me 'Where do I find draw pulls?' Good thing I know T@rget like the back of my hand.
A couple minutes later someone else walks up and asks about something else but I had no idea where the idem was located. I got a pretty funny look and the person walked away ticked off. I was thinking WOW that is rude.
So now I am in the aisle collecting everything that I wanted and I get a tap on the shoulder. Again someone was asking where something was located. I kept thinking this is crazy do I have a sign on my back saying 'Ask me!' Well I guess I did. I looked down and saw that I was wearing the token red shirt and tan pants.
So last night when I went for my weekly I mean every other day trip to T@rget I was again minding my own business looking at new dishes. This woman walks up to me and says 'Your a Mother. What do you think about these for a teacher gift?'
It was so matter a fact that she thought I was a Mother that it felt a bit odd. We started to talk a bit about what would be a good teacher gift. I did not tell her that I really am not a mother yet. But by the end of the conversation I felt better about the thought that I did not tell her that I am not really a true mother yet or am I?
On paper sometimes things appear so neat and clean. Once the court says that I am her Mother that is it I am her Mother at least on paper. When will I know her cry, her favorite things to eat or whether or not she sleeps with or without a blanket. I know the answer...time. I wonder when the day will come that I will only feel like her Mother not a part-time pretender.
Today she turns 21 months old.
School Days - November 2023
5 months ago
11 comments:
I knew it was a red shirt and a kind face. Do folks ask you questions at stop-lights too?
Nothing odd about that feeling. Soon this little pang of being a pretender will be long forgotten. Come on court date and travel arrangements!!!
When will the day come that you will only feel like her Mother not a part-time pretender? It will sneak up on you so gradually and completely that one day you will ask instead, when did I NOT feel like her mother? For some it is instant, for others, it takes a little more time. But it is the little things that help you know. Like when she lets you rock her to sleep, when she saves her biggest smiles for you, when she wants you to kiss her booboos, when she buries her head in her hair, when she comes running to you with arms open wide, when you are changing her stinky diaper and it is no big deal, when she looks you in the eyes and wants kisses and hugs, the list goes on and on!
I just figured out that Banana is only 3 days younger than Lexi. I'm going to be really jealous if she is potty trained when you bring her home. ;0)
Joy, I am praying so hard for your court date. And very thankful that your arm is healing!
You are a mother now. . .you care like a mother, you love like a mother, you have hopes/dreams and aspirations for your child like a mother: these are all the things a mother experiences. Soon and very soon you will have a tangible being to lavish all of that on! And what a great and wonderful day that will be!
I'm not sure I know when you'll feel like a mom, not a caretaker. I can say, it wasn't the court date for me, or even the day we came home. At times, I still question how Colby perceives Mike and me. Yes, he says Momma, Dadda, but does he really understand those concepts. We have been home 4 months now (as of yesterday) and I am just starting to feel like Mommy. I guess the idea had to grow on me. Quite common I am told.
The day will come, and as Kim said, it will sneak up on you and you'll just be Mommy and nothing else will matter.
Melissa
Thanks for your comment regarding the crazy comment the person left!
The Target story is kinda funny...makes you stop and think a little about what you have on doesn't it?! I never think about things like that.
Well, I think you already are a mother. You don't ever stop thinking about her do you? Do you want what is best for her? Do you want to parent her more than anything? I already know the answers to these questions for you...You ARE her mother already.
I think you became a mother the first time you heard about her and you worried about when you would see her and was she being treated the way you would treat her. Your a mother now. You have all the concerns a mother has the only differnece is you may have more because she is not with you at this time. I pray she gets to come home soon.
All I have to say is "you own a red shirt?"
You're already a mother Joy. You've already held her and you already love her and that's what counts! I hope you full time motherhood begins very soon.
I agree. You are already a mother. You hold a precious little girl - if not in your arms, then in your heart. I will be honest (and you've read this on my blog, no doubt), even after Iliya came home, it took me a good bit of time to actually feel like I was his mom. It was a gradual process for me, but now, it's cemented as though it was never any other way!
I loved your Target story...that is hilarious! I actually don't wear the red shirt/khaki pants combo, for that reason...because one never knows when they will be going into Target! ;)
That is too funny! ; )
I got asked questions IN A RUSSIAN BOOKSTORE!! Giving directions on the street is one thing, but I don't know the stock of the bookstore. ;>
It's weird to be a mom and not have your child, isn't it? Very surreal.
Let's hope we have our "babies" home soon!
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