First time not putting her to sleep and biospy report is back

Where has the time gone. I can not believe that Tuesday was the last time I posted something. Not that things have not been moving and shaking around here it has just been too crazy to take 5 minutes to think straight.

I went back to work 2 nights in a row. Of course I worried about leaving her but the reports were good. She and Jillian did well in my absence and Anna fell asleep without crying. Here is where the but gets inserted. My first night putting her to sleep was like burning in H.

She actually did not fall asleep until well after 1 am and woke back up at 5 am. To add to the sleeplessness she refused her nap. I tried everything, a walk, warm bottle, rocking, car ride. Nothing! I have not seen this level of sheer exhaustion in her since my trip home.

I know in my heart that this was a result of me not being home for those 2 nights. Me putting her to bed has been the one thing that has been consistent. So tonight I was a bit nervous. I think it went well in total it took about 2 hours to get her down which is about the normal amount of time it takes me. I know this should get easier, I hope and pray this gets easier.

I know that so many of you have gone through this same transition of returning to work and you feel my pain. This are the times that I wonder why the movement to a dual income family has been the way of the future. If I could stay home I would, believe me I have not stopped thinking or trying to find a way to do it.

Now the news that I hoped that I never thought I would have to say. I got the biopsy report back on Friday. Yes my Mother has lung cancer wow that is hard to say, write and think. When I first started this journey with her I was certain that the biopsy report was going to come back with this news but on the day of her biopsy I had convinced myself that she did not have cancer. Funny how your mind works. I guess when I got the actual report I was shocked and relieved to finally have a name attached to what it is. Adenocarcinoma.

I had to process the information for myself and I will tell you that yes the glass is half full not half empty. I believe that the type of cancer that she has is one that is curable with surgery. I am very confident that the surgeon that she we have chosen is to right man for the job. So Wednesday we will travel to NYC to discuss her options and have her pre-surgical testing completed. We will make it through this bump in the road.