17 used to be my absolute favorite number. I am not giving it up but I was a little upset with the number 17 Tuesday. That is the number of tubes of blood Anna had to give to ensure that she is healthy. 2 sticks and about a million tears later she was done. I know the feeling of sweat when you see the list of blood work like what she needed to have done and the prayers that you say when you know you have to draw it.
What is new to me is the sweat and the prayers that you feel and say when you are the one holding down your little girl to give those 17 tubes of blood. Believe me without being dramatic she cried, and cried and cried some more over this experience. When the actual blood draw was completed it took over an hour to calm her down. When she finally fell asleep I could feel my tears starting to fall.
Today we will go the the Pediatric Cardiologist. I am dreading the thought that she may cry again like she did on Tuesday. I hope that all the testing that she may need will be completed tomorrow.
Some of you may be thinking wow this is the first time she has mentioned going to the cardiologist. To that I say you are paying attention and probably do not have a mush brain like me. Over the weekend some concerns have popped up. Have I opened my box of concern yet well no, but I have gotten out the key to unlock it if need be.
I have pondered as to whether or not I should write about my concerns and I have made the decision to go ahead and do so. In order to give the full details I have to back track a bit. Whether it is relevant or not I am not sure as of yet.
Since I have been home with Anna we have not eaten out. Okay, I do not consider the drive-thru REALLY eating out more like eating on the run. So Monday morning when I got the offer to go to breakfast with Gerard's family I thought okay I can do this it will be fine. To some degree yes it was fine. She sat in the high chair much longer then I expected and ate 3/4 of a banana. Gerard met us and all was great until it was time to leave. It took about 10 minutes to get her into the car seat and Gerard in the back for a ride to settle her down. When we got home it was nap time which up to this point has only taken a quick 5-10 minute walk which turned out to be more like a 45 minute walk.
When she got up all she would eat was a cereal bar, no juice, milk, kefier nothing. I am making 4-5 different things and all are being refused, just refused. I will not battle her on this and I think that is the right way to go I am just watching it. Do I think it is a control issue for her, yes I do. So I am giving her a little more control over this in the way of leaving a different snack available to her in different rooms (her bedroom, kitchen, living room. Sometimes she eats a little bit from these areas and sometimes she does not. Dinner she had 2 slices of cheese and 4 ounces of kefier oh and a bite size piece of pear. Yup, that was pretty much it for the day.
I am trying to look at the consumption for the week as opposed to each meal or each day. The day before she ate better so I was not terribly upset and figured it was because of the eating out with a small group of people. Gerard thinks we have too many toys out and I disagree. Honestly it is not that many toys that we have out in the house and separate toys for when I have taken her out (that do not fill up a zip lock bag).
There you go now you have the background. So Monday night I was changing her diaper and getting her ready for the bedtime ritual and that is when I noticed that she was turning blue. No not a misprint she turned blue around her mouth and chin area and yes quite dark. I have seen this before but never in Anna. Was she holding her breath? Well maybe or maybe not. Then as she was sitting in her bed reading a book to herself I could see it return ever so slightly. Out came the stethoscope and I started to listen for a murmur or irregular heart rate. I am being honest when I say no I'm not that objective right now.
So to make a long story short (stop saying yeah right) she was seen by her Pediatrician on Tuesday. We all agree that because of this episode she should be seen by a cardiologist. What I am hoping will happen is an echocardiogram and an EKG all with perfect results. I just want to be sure that something has not been missed. If she is holding her breath this is new and my thoughts are it was do to over stimulation from the day. If it is not her just holding her breath to give her Mother a few more grey hairs then it will be dealt with too. I should have some answers tomorrow after I see the cardiologist.
I am upset with myself because I should have kept everyone away for the last 3 weeks. It stresses me out when I have visitors right now let alone her, even though I know that everyone's intentions are good I really feel like I need my space. No not space from Anna or Gerard but space from everyone else. They see her eat a cereal bar or a 3/4 of a banana and act like I am just plain crazy when I say I am worried. My new standard answer will be what everyone wants to hear, "She is eating fine, no problems." or "She is extremely attached, no issues here." or Here is another good one that I have heard "You are spoiling her if you pick her up every time she wants you too." "She is so happy she has adjusted so well, glad that is in the past."
This may sound a bit crazy but please pray that I am neurotic, I would so much rather it be me then her. Off to watch her sleep.
School Days - November 2023
5 months ago
10 comments:
Praying for you that all results come back normal! Hopefully you'll get some quiet time just to spend as a family. Wow - 17 vials - poor little Anna!
I pray that everything goes well. One other memory of the early days of feeding. Elizabeth did much better eating when it was just she and I in the kitchen with things quite.Even if John were home that was too much for her and she would not eat as well. Maybe alone time is just what you guys need.
I have found that Colby eats much better when others aren't around, including Mike and me. We start out eatingas a family but Colby is a slow eater so we often let him be to finish. Right now he is finishing breakfast as I am at the computer, within sight but off to the side. I really hope things turn out ok with the cardiologist. We had an echo done on Colby as well. Some thought we were crazy but I wanted the bases covered and there was a small concern but all is well. What a relief. Hope the same for you. Keep us posted.
Melissa
Good luck with the Dr. today. Praying that all will be well.
You hold that girl whenever she cries. The rules for her are so totally different than for other toddlers. They did not spend the first almost 2 years of their lives in an orphanage.
I know the food thing must drive you nuts, but if it helps you feel any better, my first child (who was bio) has a food aversion (and he was not ever in an orphanage) and he barely eats a thing--but he is growing and has energy. My ped says as long as he is active and growing, he will be okay.
My daughter (who was adopted and was dx with failure to thrive syndrome) took a while before she ate better. See if you can get her to drink some pediasure or carnation instant breakfast.
Good luck. Hoping to hear good news about her cardio visit soon!!!
You know the old saying "when there hungry they will eat"
Ur doing a great job mom.
Our DD had 5 vials drawn and that was bad enough 17 WOW! We did have to take her to the cardiologist also, so I can understand your concerns.We will be praying for good results.I would like to add that when we picked up our DD we realized she didnt know how to chew or bite so my DH played a game with her, he put a small piece of food in his mouth and would hold her hands so she had to take it with her mouth then he would pretend to chew it really good and swallow. At first she just copied him but as time went on she started leaving the food in her mouth and chewing it. At first he would do the chewing,biting with his lips open so she could see what he was doing it was very funny to watch but it worked plus she had fun.(bonding) I hope you dont mind my offering advice but I know how flusterating it can be when your child wont eat. Sorry so long!
Joy,
call me anytime but we experienced the same thing. Turns out Cayden was sucking too hard on bottle, sippy cup, whatever. So a few times his lips would start to change and his temp seemed to drop..then one day he went REALLY BLUE! As I was calling 911 it started clearing; he was acting normal, maybe a little crabby but not 911 bad. Anywho...we traced it back to the sucking issue...anyway, feel free to email/call me anytime! Good Luck! she is so beautiful!
Joy,
You're in my prayers. DOn't worry about being Neurotic. . .I think in these situations we could all stand to be a little neurotic! I think going to the cardiologist is the right answer. . .if it's something, then you've started the process down the right path. If it's nothing, so much the better! And tell everyone to stay away for a while. If they don't understand at first, they will eventually. I agree the rules are different for our little people. . .holding for whatever reason at all is perfectly okay and whenever need be. Remember, I still rock my guy--who will be as tall as me next year, if this continues.
Aidan still cries when we go to the doctors and they bring out a needle. . .I think I've scarred him for life for shots, blood being drawn, etc. I don't dare tell him he has a flu shot scheduled for 9/26!
Good bless and prayers continues, my friend.
Have you tried adding things to whole milk to supplement the taste? (I'm not sure if you even want to go with milk because of the Kefir) But, we add chocolate carnation instant breakfast- not too much- and that is the only way our 2 year old will drink it. I've heard of people adding all kinds of things even as crazy as orange juice. You are certainly not crazy to be worried about the food- I am constantly worried about the same thing w/ my 2 year old and looking for ways to sneak in more food (he lost weight from his 18 month appt. to his 24 month). Keep trying. Keep offering the food. You are doing the right things.
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