Throw me a towel that was a great shower!

Have I ever told you how blessed I am? This past weekend my family hosted a party to welcome little Banana into the family even though she is not here yet. I have such a large immediate family and extended family who mostly live very close by.

Most of Gerard's family lives in Brooklyn or north Jersey still. Honestly it is very difficult for them to come down in the summer time because of the traffic but quite a few of them did brave the Saturday morning rush to the shore.

I had told my family originally that I wanted to wait until she came home for a shower. I changed my mind and then after I broke my arm I thought maybe this is not a good idea but I think it really has lifted my spirits more then I could ever have imagined.

I got more then I could have possibly wanted for Little Banana and her room. I received the most beautiful bedding from Gerard's Aunt Barbara and his cousins. AM bought a car seat all decked out with a pink cover. Gerard's parents got her a piggy bank and a little something to start her off with.

My sisters raided PBK and got some really cool things. I got the chandelier that I have been wanting, a book shelf and the best stroller in the world. All bright pink but the great thing is it is like a very expensive stroller but for a 1/3 of the price. I love it because she can sit and face me when I push her and the handle telescopes from those who are taller then I am.

My mother picked out some beautiful smocked dresses one that was white with blue smocking and the other which was ivory with pink details.

By far the most special part of the shower was seeing how many people showed up and wanted to celebrate with me. The tables had beautiful decorated cookies and pictures of her as favors. Two of my friends (Audrey and Kathy) who I have not seen in some time were there. What a shock and a surprise that was for me. I actually got a chance to talk to them both. Now I just need to find someone to help me with the 'Thank You' cards. I can type but I still can not write.

Things seem a little squirrelly

As a people and animal watcher I am one of those crazy people who feed the squirrels. I have a squirrel that I refer to as 'Monk' because he stops on every post of the fence. Part of me daily routine is to feed the "birds."

I also have a nasty habit of leaving the back door open that includes the screen door too. I know that I will have to change this once she is home but it is so much easier with Dottie.

Well I will have to change that habit sooner rather then later because they found my stash. I cleaned it all up and went about my business. So yesterday morning when I was sitting at the table going over paperwork Monk started to knock on the door.

Let's start week # 12 ***Updated***

Well it looks like I am well into my wait now. When I first started waiting I thought to myself 'I will have a court date by week 12' the one thing about Russian adoptions is that constant is change and hurry up and wait.

I can tell you that for me I think I have done pretty good with the wait. I am trying my best to not be snappy. But I am human and imperfect.

So where do I stand today? All of my paperwork is in to the agency including the additional paperwork from the orthopedic. For today I'm breathing a sigh of relief even if it is short lived.

So you would think that I am done right? No!

My home study agency's license up for renewal and actually expires at the end of the month. Both doctor's license expire at the end of June. I have not gotten any word but from the USCIS about my extension for the I-171h which expires in July.

These sound like easy documents but here is my fear. The things have I thought were easy have always been the biggest problems. The things that I thought were going to be hard were always the easiest.

Oh gosh I hope to hear something about a court date soon. I just keep imagining that they are hugging and loving her. Maybe they have even taken some pictures for me with the camera I left.

***Today in the mail I got a letter from the USCIS stating that they are working on my I-171h extension. I just need to send them my birth certificate. This is great news!!***

Can you scratch that itch?

Now that my arm is starting to feel a little bit I have realized that there are a few funny moments. Since the sling hurts my shoulder I have been walking around with my arm kind of resting on my head. So the big question is:

"Do you have a question?"

I have become that little kid that has the answer to a question that the teacher will not call on.

The other thing that is funny is the other day I realized I can not scratch the top of my head my head. Oh the things I am missing out on.

Have I told you I'm GREAT!

That is right I am great! Great Aunt Joy that is. My oldest niece had her first baby yesterday evening. With her husband and sister by her side she made having a baby look easy.

He is a beautiful baby boy and a perfect 7lbs 9ozs. She has a blog too so I will not give any more details until she does. Jaime's Blog

One of my favorite quotes was from Joy Babe (my youngest niece) " Oh my goodness now I have to remember everything this baby does forever because now I have to tell the stories as Thanksgiving"

"It would be perfect if..."

Well she is now 20 months old. I have to say I can not wait to tease Gerard and tell him that she is 20 then clarify it and say 20 months. He has been very busy shopping for a baby pool. Now I know that it may be premature to think that we need a baby pool but honestly they sell out here in NJ because it is a seasonal item.

So after pouring over multiple advertisments he brings me the flyer to show me two different pools one that is rectangular and one that is round. Both pools were the same price and height, I think 20 inches high. Here is were the "problem" comes in and why he is stressed. The rectangular pool has opacque sides and the round one has clear sides. He wants the round pool with the opacque sides. Things like this really make me laugh because the next words out of his mouth are usually "It would be perfect if..."

So lately I start all comparisomes with this line. Now we both laugh because in the big sceme of things this not a big deal. So as many of you know we goof around a lot. I was detressed after I broke my arm because I wanted a handmade smocked dress for her to come home in. Again I this seems silly to me to be upset about this something so insignificant. So now I am spending my time to find the PERFECT dress to bring her home in. Now he is laughing at me too.

My spirit is re-kindled and my outlook is shaping up. One cue as I hit the two week mark of my break the pain is finally starting to subside. Other good news is yesterday I got an email from my coordinator because she wants to talk about the next steps. I think this is all positive so we are going to set up a time for some time next week to talk.

I have to pick up paperwork on Tuesday. I am just waiting on one license that is it.

10 weeks down on to lucky # 11

This has been quite a week. I am on to Lucky # 11. I would like to thank everyone who has kept me in there thoughts and prayers this week. I am very blessed.

Okay I am over my meltdown for at least the next couple of days. So here is the update all the documents from my 2 doctors are done. It is funny because I used to work with both of these doctors and to be quite honest I think most nurses or at me are a little bossy. I in my usual form I walked into his office and stood there and watched him sign everything. He laughed and said "This is like old times" What sweet man.

So today I am off to Trenton. To drop off paperwork. My plan is to have these documents into the mail to the agency my Friday mid morning.

Now for the arm. Yesterday I went to this doctor too for some of the extra special paperwork that I needed because of the arm. I can not tell you how much I love this doctor too. Not only did he give me the paperwork right away he looked at my arm again because of the pain. The fit of the cast is good. I just need time.

I am much better today then I have been in days.

Frustation

Today I am frustrated. I can remember starting to feel frustrated when I was waiting for a referral back in December and January. I can remember being even more frustrated when I was waiting to hear about my travel dates for the first trip. I am doing my best to practice patience but that is hard.

So today's frustration is with those who think they are doing what I am asking them to do, in particular my doctor. I am lucky because I have a notary who has been willing to notarize something at the drop of a hat for me. I just need to make the phone call and off she goes with me which makes it easier.

Instead my doctor, whom I love because he really is so accommodating to me decided to handle it himself. I will let you guess what the results are. One of the papers that I needed him to sign, not signed. But to top it off the notary wrote one date then wrote another date over top of it. That is not the topper. Here is I needed 5 of these 2 documents guess how many he gave me? You guessed it 1.

So the plan for tomorrow was a 3 hour tour out to Trenton to drop these documents off. Instead I will drive to the doctor's office again and re-ask for the documents with the notary to be signed. If there is enough time I may still drive to Trenton but that will only be a maybe since it depends on the time.

I got a generalized (and I stress generalized) email from my agency telling me that it takes about a month for documents to reach the right hands in Russia. In my head I can see where it takes that long. But my heart is breaking at the thought of it taking that long. I hate to say it but today I feel like this could drag on and on and on.

The Real Deal

So it has been a week since I broke my arm. How am I fairing you ask? Is okay an answer? It hurts! I mean it really hurts more then I think it should at times. I because of where the break is I have no movement in my wrist because of the way it is casted not the break. If the pain holds up I will be calling the doctor for another X-Ray. The worst is that the pain medication is making me sick to my stomach.

Not being able to sew, quilt, smock or crochet is driving me crazy. I never sit and just do nothing. On the flip side my house is pretty well picked up because I can walk around and put things away. So that is positive.

So how is my mind holding up you ask? That is a little more tricky. I am having some good moments and some mad moments and some sad moments. Mostly I am just worried all the time. Between dragging this cast around and all the worrying that I am doing I am exhausted.

Getting together the paperwork in the past has been a challenge but to be quite honest it was a challenge that I have only shared with Gerard and my fellow bloggers. Most of my family had never seen the blog until I gave them the address right before my first trip. Having to involve others in my trips to all these crazy places and having others have to witness my pleading looks, personal questions and lengthy explanations as to why I need these documents is humbling. I thank God that most of the paperwork is done.

I know the instinct it to tell me not to worry and that is what I am telling myself too. Maybe I have kept too much from my family about how hard this adoption has been maybe I have told them too much and they are just numb. I do not know.

The travel question!! This is the question that I am getting the most. I am taking applications for a travel companion. I have been told that I will not be able to travel alone with a cast. No seriously Gerard may be traveling with me but just not staying the either time. I am also considering taking one of my nieces, a friend or other family member. Dottie does not have a passport and she has never been on a plane so she is out of the running.

I am NOT going to say that I will try to put this in God's hands. I see no other choice but to put it in God's hands.

9 weeks down off to the double digit wait

What a busy week this has been. I just can not believe that 9 weeks have passed since I held her in my arms. Because of my arm I am not able to drive so I am at the mercy of my family and friends.

Today Nancy offered to take me to Trenton to pick up some documents. We were in and out in 5 minutes but the drive is about 3 hours round trip. Amazing how everyone is pitching in to help out. I think I will have to make at least 2 more trips out to have documents apostilled.

Because of the arm I need to produce a few more documents from 2 doctors. There seems to be one small glitch in obtaining a license that I need but I am hopeful to have it by next week.

I am hanging in over here. On to week 10. I am looking at it this way I am probably at least half way done with the wait.

Torn Between Two Titles

The first is "Does this make my arm look thinner?" or "Wow those legs are white!" Both are very fitting for this post. Is it possible it could have 2 titles that really fit?

So the verdict is in. I am casted for at least the time being. I will be off from work for the next 4-6 weeks. Thank Goodness for sick time because I will still get a full paycheck.

Unfortunately for you all you will be stuck with full time. The posts maybe shorter and comments fewer because it is my right arm but I will have all the time in the world to read away.

Things that are hard to do with your non-dominant hand:
1. cleaning your ears with a q-tip.
2. eating things with sauce
3. Sleeping
4. Pulling up my underoos



Yup Dottie keeps nudging my arm!

Happy Belated Mother's Day

I hope everyone had a great Mother's day filled with lots of hugs and kisses. I was very lucky because a nice little potted flower made it the whole way here from Russia. I would take a picture but my picture finger is not working great.

Okay here is something funny. Friday Gerard starts to dictate my list for next week. Now understand that he actually thinks that I listen and cross things off his list of lists for me to do. He gives everyone lists so we usually all laugh. Honestly I would hate to be his Father because he gets the biggest lists of the hardest jobs.

So on my list for Sunday was to cut the grass. We teased him all weekend about there was no way I was going to cut the grass on Sunday. Sunday morning when Gerard got home he looked out the back door and said "You will do anything to get out of mowing the lawn!"

That's the breaks or what mean to say is...

It's broken!!! I have to see an orthopedic doctor on Monday. Right now I have an immobilizer on and no use of my right arm at all. Now I have a little special request prayer. Please pray I do not need surgery to repair this.

I know there will be a bright side to this I am not quite sure what it is yet but I am sure that I will be able to find one. So now Gerard has me propped up on the sofa with a cold diet soda, my phone on the table next to me and my computer on my lap. He has the TV clickers and thinks it is funny because I can not fight back.

Guess what we are watching?? Arm wrestling! I told him "Not funny!" At least now I am laughing. Thank you all for your prayers.

Prayers needed

For the first time during this wait I am so upset and I am fighting back the tears. Right now I am about 4 hours from home and praying that there is no traffic because I have never been so upset.

Usually I make a big enterance in to a room as if you did not guess I really like to joke around. Well this time my enterance included a fall. I landed square on my elbow and I heard a distinct SNAP!

I am not the type that cries in public so I was able to get up off the floor and make it to the bathroom where I felt my arm after urge to throw up and pass out vanished. I sat at the party for as long as I possiblily could and now we are driving home to drop me off at my hospital.

So why post now you say? For lots of reasons it really hurts and this is keeping my mind off the pain. That is one reason.

Please pray that it is not broken. I think there is a 50/50 chance that it is not broken in my heart. In my brain I think is closer to an 80% that it is broken.

All different sort of things are going through my mind. I do not want to use my FML for a broken arm I want it for her.

How in the heck am I going to be able to travel to get her if it is broken? How will I be able to pick her up and hold her?

I was saving today's post for something way more exciting. Yesterday I got an email saying that they had reviewed my documents and I only needed one additional document that would be really ease to get. I have a feeling that my court date is coming soon.

Maybe between here and there it will get better is that possible? I only can pray that it is.

8 Weeks Down

Well I hit another milestone today. 8 weeks are done. It will not be long now. I know that they told me that the wait for my second trip could be as long as 6 months. I pray everyday that it is not. I have been day dreaming that I will get the call very soon. I just want her home before her birthday. I know that may sound silly because she will only be 2 and she probably does not even know when her birthday is but I do.

So in true form of trying my best to stay positive how much longer could the wait really be. I am ONLY weeks away from going back and scooping her up in my arms and taking her home forever. I always say if you put the only in front of something it makes it sound so much better.

The Dresser

I know this sounds crazy but I had I have this vision of what I want her room to look like when we get home. In my mind for the past couple of years I had pictured an antique rock maple wooden dresser.

This is always where Gerard and I differ in our opinion of what is beautiful. I love old furniture that has some suttle wear and he loves brand new funiture. So the struggle was on.

I conceded and found a dresser that met most of my requirements at Ikea. 3 draws, creamy white and not too tall. It is a little shabby chic which is my favorite. My family always laughs at me because white is my favorite color. Jaime even has told me "Aunt Joy baby's really do like color and white is not really a color!"

Little Banana is very lucky to a Grandpa who can put anything together. Here are the pictures to prove it. He actually put this together a couple of months ago and I have waited on posting it until I was closer to traveling.

A Duh Moment

Okay a couple of days ago I asked if anyone could find the letters N or S at Target. I have actually had a couple of people look in the a couple of different places. The results have all yielded plenty of A's, B's and C's. Now all I could think was when are they going to release the rest of the alphabet???

Here is the Duh moment. They are not! The point is they are only going to release A, B, C get it ABC's. That is my duh moment.

Could I be Nesting, Hmmmm!

I have not heard anything about travel dates but for some reason I have been a cleaning fool this weekend. I mean I even pulled out the bed and vacuum everything in my bedroom. There was enough dog hair to knit another dog. Okay I am honest since I streamlined my fiances and had to let my house keeper go I do not always get to vacuum under my bed.

I have gone through an entire bottle of Windex and magic erasers. I even washed the shower curtains. I am burning up the cleaning in this house. Then the realization set in that in a few short weeks I will be home with a little one running around. So off to break out my other bottle of Windex to paper towels I have more base boards that need my undivided attention.

Everyone needs a pair! (Sneak Peak)

Okay I try to find the humor in most situations. For me it helps so that is my best cooping skill. So I was looking through the pictures of Little Banana and she was wearing a good sturdy pair of black shoes. Leather, good condition with little lace up ties and very functional shoes. Seeing pictures of these shoes makes me laugh because they are so not what I would put on her. She has so many pairs of Mary Jane style shoes and I really can not stop myself when I see them so I just keep buying new ones.

For me this is a good memory because in the video you can hear the shoes tapping on the floor as she walks around. At one point she even rested her head on my lap and danced her feet around in place. In my opinion I think it is because she was happy and the noise that the shoes makes I think is some thing new for her because in her referral picture she did not have shoes on. So I am not sure that she is used to wearing them. Tap, Tap, Tap.

I know in my mind shoes in Russia are very expensive. In a orphanage they are probably treasured and really something that they try to keep track of so that they have them when they need them. Oh how I wish they would give me those shoes when I pick her up. I would pay any amount of money for them and they probably do not even realize that I would or that most adoptive parents would.

I have been holding off on posting a teaser shot for you all but I can hold off no more. Here is your sneak peek. This is part of one of my favorite pictures of her. I carry it around with me everyday.