As promised I am going to find the good in waiting for my referral. I am okay and I do not want those who are experiencing the joys of having a referral to be tampered by my wait and selfishness. We each have our own story of pain that has brought us to this point in our lives and I am not an expectation. When I say that I am happy for another who has received a referral, travel dates or a homecoming this feeling comes from my heart. Please send your warm thoughts to Patti and Dave who have received their referral for a 19 month old little boy. I believe that there may be many reasons why I have been chosen to wait. Maybe my child is not due to come off the database or be adoptable yet. I have read on other blogs where this was the case and the child that was placed with them is the one that belongs with that family.
At this point in my time line if I were to travel in the next couple of weeks I believe that I would not be able to bring my little one home for Christmas. Being separated for the holidays would break my heart. Somehow even though in my brain I know that my child is born I do not feel the attachment the way that I believe that I will feel it once I have held him or her.
As a result of waiting I will be able to take my entire maternity leave with pay. This alleviates any stress associated with taking the time off. I will still have enough time to take a vacation or two in addition to my leave. The extra time will allow me to save some more money for the other life goals that are important. Maybe I will even be able to get my car paid off.
The extra time that I needed to get things done tah dah now I have it. I will be able to have the room set up the way I have always imagined it to be. Since I am getting one shot at this there is a level of perfection that I would like to attempt to achieve.
So see I can get through this tough time. I do believe that the wait will be a memory. Look at how far I have come in the last 14 months. I am so close and this wait will help me to practice patience that I am sure I will need so badly once the wait is over.
School Days - November 2023
5 months ago
7 comments:
Dearest Joy,
You are so right! We met Aidan last year on Thanksgiving Day, which makes Thanksgiving even more special for us. But, we then had to wait exactly four more months in order to see him again! It was so hard going through December with Santa Claus abounding everywhere and Christmas stories unfolding at church. . .but we somehow made it through. You are incredibly strong. As I said, you little person is there. Just not ready for you yet!
Peace,
Stacy
Hi Joy,
I have been following your journey as I travel mine. We too have our dossier in Russia and it has now been in the "being translated stage" for over a month.
We were initially (last year) that the wait was 1-3 months, then when we turned our dossier in to our agency the wait was pushed back to 3-5 months. The last update from our agency was the average wait was 4-6 months AFTER your dossier has been registered in a region, so as you can see, you are ahead of us at least. I do have a question which I hope is not too personal, but why has your wait been longer than the norm? Did you ask for a specific age or gender?
The reason I ask is I am questioning my agency choice and I am wondering if the wait is dramatically different depending on the agency?
Anyway, thank you for your blog, your posts help me feel less alone.
Jen M.
LOL! I just have to say I thought that I gained patience while waiting. The patience I need to be a mom is so much more. But I had a good solid foundation as you will.
I know the added months are hard but you will make it to the end goal. Start making your list of things to do before your little one comes home and start crossing things off. The time will just begin to go by. (I hope)
Hi Joy,
You are right - Your special little one just isn't quite ready yet - He will be the one meant to be with you!
Have fun getting the room ready and enjoy some time off. That is so great that your whole maternity leave will be paid!!
Take care...Teresa
Don't worry about getting upset with the wait, we all do. It is part of being a mother. We are very emotional about the child we hope to adopt. We will have our uplifting moments (like learning of a new region) and our trying moments (learning there may be no additional referrals until Feb). You are doing so well with the wait. And, we enjoy hearing about Dottie...so keep up the stories and the pictures!!
Many prayers coming your way.
I wish I could scoop up all your paperwork and take it to my agency, you'd be home with a child now. I hate that the wait is so long for you but I can see you are at peace with it. Butttt if you ever want to talk about switching agencies like we did, drop me a line.
Hey Girly! Thanks for the shout-out! But I am still waiting on travel dates! So once you get a referral, theres still more waiting. And I agree about traveling now, with the holidays. We might not even be together on his 2nd birthday :( We still have mixed feelings. Its hard to get attached to a picture, and be told, that he could be in foster care and wont be available. Like what crap is that! If we could we would be on the next flight over there to see him. But just another bump in this journey.
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