She should not have done it.

Today I was in public and over heard a conversation about adoption. They we talking how this one birthmother on the show 16 and pregnant (I think) should not have given her child up for adoption. The conversation when on to discuss how how it ruined their relationship and that the adoptive Mother would not let them see the baby. I do know the show that they are talking.

The birth parents were also step siblings. I have seen follow up shows where the birth Mother was okay with her decision but the birth Father was not. I will be honest this is not a show that I have followed closely. I think the one thing that many people do not realize is emotions are fluid and never the same everyday. This is one thing that I think both adoptive and birth Mothers have in common. Not everyday is the same for me. I will be honest in the begining I had quite a bit of trouble.

I believe that I was battling with some adoption blues ans still do. At times I have felt guilty especially in the begining when I was having difficulty feeing like Anna's Momma. I am pretty sure this is a topic that I have not covered much here. My fellow blogger Stacy has told me that the first year is the most stressful and I do believe she is right.

Much of that stress is man made in my opinion but made never the less. When Anna first came home I felt guilty about so much, even though much of what I felt guilty about was out of my control, it did not stop me from feeling guilty or feeling sad.

I could not imagine how difficult it is to place your baby in the arms of another woman knowing that she will hold and comfort the baby. I would like to believe that more birth Mothers feel at peace with their decision to let another woman parent there child. I am not sure I could ever be okay or at peace if I were the birth Mother.

I guess my point to this is being supportive can be hard. I have had family and friends believe that they are being supportive but the reality is that many times what they are saying can be quite hurtful. How can this be fixed. Communication is the key but it has to be effective communication. I have yet to achieve this level with most of my family members, sad but true.

Here is the answer to your question...Was I hurt by these comments. No! I am a little more thick skinned then that but what I guess I do not understand is why is adoption seen as a bad thing? Why do people have such strong feeling either for or against it. Each situation where adoption is considered is very unique. No I do not believe that adoption is right for every situation but I would so much rather adoption be considered as an alternative then some of the other alternatives that I know are available.

Becoming a Momma is a selfless act. I believe that your child should come first in every situation. Believe it or not Gerard at times is much better then I am at this and will remind me of what we commited to when the decision to adopt Anna was made. Are you shocked? I was the first time he reminded me. More on that another day.