3 Year old check up

Monday I took Anna for her 3 year old check up. Anna remains small for her age, I have not plotted her measurements out onto a growth chart as of yet to determine where she falls. Anna has gained 2.5 lbs since her last visit and now weights 25.5 lbs with clothes on. She also grew close to 1/2 of an inch to make her 35 inches tall now.

Dr. V. looked over her vaccine records and noticed that Anna was due for a couple of shots. I also requested that she have the Flu vaccine which was also included. In total Anna received 4 shots. The first 2 I think just took her by surprise the second 2 the tears were already flowing. I held her for over an hour while she cried. I so wish she did not have to have all 4 but I am fighting the system a bit here. Anna had a fever the one night and none since then.

The school system does not want to accept Anna's vaccine record because her vaccines were done in Russia. I of course told the school nurse that I have no problem having Anna vaccinated but I do have a problem with having additional vaccines if they are not needed. I told the school nurse that Anna has had all her titers drawn for each of the vaccines and she told me that she does not believe that this is acceptable. No I did not tell her I was a nurse because I want a full and complete explanation as to why they are not acceptable. If the doctor who cares for Anna thinks it is acceptable then I think it is too. So today I will spend some time getting her lab work together and getting a note from Dr. V. stating that Anna is up to date and that no additional vaccines are needed at this time.

Family Birthday Party

Gerard and I debated quite a bit over Anna's "Birthday Party." Yes I know that this may seem a bit excessive to have another Birthday party but I have a couple of reasons for doing celebrating her birth yet again.

First of all I love cake, plain and simple! Anna loves cake too. Blowing out candles on a cake is fun. When Anna sees a cake even if it is not a birthday cake she breaks out into her version of "Happy Birthday." When Anna gets a bump or scratch and she cries I hold her kiss her then ask her if there is anything else I can do the answer is always the same. "Cake!"

Gerard and I were planning a bigger party but Disney got in the way sorry folks. Gerard and I decided that we would just have family over with some sandwiches and cake of course. I have always said I would be as honest as I could be so here we go...My house is a mess and I have to cut or should I say Gerard has to cut the grass and I am still tired from Disney World.

I want this to be fun after all so I made the last minute decision to have her Birthday party out instead and to keep it small. Hopefully next year I will be able to get it together enough to invite some friends to her birthday party. I decided on Argo's Farm for their Halloween weekend. I think it is more of a fall festival but who am I to say.

Here are some corny pictures!





What is a farm without a couple cows?






There was a tunnel in the Hay stack



AHHH yes a pony rides








We returned to my messy house for some quick cake and another round of "Happy Birthday to you!"





This was a wonderful birthday party.

I will say fun was had by all.

Home from Disney!!

We are home sad to say from Walt Disney World. First let me say that Anna would have just loved saying at the hotel and swimming in the bath tub until she got to the park. Once we were at the park she really looked like she enjoyed every minute of our time there. Okay maybe not the waiting on line part but I feel fortunate that we were able to go during a slower time of the year for her first visit.

We kept it short and sweet, one day at the Magic Kingdom and one day at Typhoon Lagoon. We were up and out early on the day we went to the Magic Kingdom so we made it to the park by 9:30 am. Once we were through the gate we were greeted by Pluto. At first Gerard did not understand the point of waiting in line to see a character until he saw her reaction to being able to hug Pluto.




The pictures taken by the Disney Photopass photographers are way better and I am considering putting out the money for the big CD. I know don't tell me I am a sucker, I already know it.

From there we went to the Monster's Inc show, Gerard picked a seat my the end of the row. He was happy with his seat until he realized that random people's faces from the audience were put on the big screen during the show. For a man who does not like his photograph taken this was fun to watch.

The Buzz Lightyear ride was a ton of fun. Then it was off to meet the main mouse. The wait was about 15 minutes long to see Mickey & Minnie Mouse. I told Gerard that usually the wait is much longer then that so with that he was quite happy. While on line to meet the mouse we saw Pluto's dog house, no fence can keep Anna out.


This looks so familiar, yes now I remember August of 2009 Moscow.




Of course we did the Peter Pan ride, Dumbo and the Merri-go-round. The afternoon parade was a hoot. We got seats on the curb so she had a great view. Here is a classic Mr. Wilson picture of Gerard and one that was totally not staged.


Before the parade we found the man who does the black and white silhouettes. I love how ours turned out, we all look so young.




On our way out of the park in the afternoon we met up with Pooh and Tiger too!


We took a little rest in the late afternoon then we were back for the fireworks. Unfortunately, we missed them because the Monorail was down. We saw the last bit of them as we were reentering the park. Next time we will get to see them so I am not upset by that.

In all Anna LOVED the characters. She would run up to them give them a hug then come to get one of us. She smiled, laughed and did not melt down when we had to leave them.

But by far the funniest part of the day was when Gerard got us on a roller coaster. The pictures are amazingly funny. I am waiting to blog on the water park because I am waiting for the pictures to come back. I purchased a very expensive water proof disposable camera so I fun the pictures come out good.

Happy Birthday Baby

We are at Walt Disney World!!! We got in late last night just the three of us. The plane ride down was great. I felt like we got up to a cruising level then we were landing. The resort (Carribean Beach) is very nice but next time I would stay at the basic Disney resort instead.

This is the first time for Anna and the first time for Gerard since I think 1976. I laughed because for as many different places we have flown, we have never flown into Orlando together. He asked me if they were going to bring the steps up to the plane? No Gerard we are not in Russia we will take the monorail to the main airport.

I purchased the 10 pass for us with the water park option. He thought I was crazy but he now understands that I am right. Mark this down the first time in 20 years. My dear friend Lynn gave Anna a Disney gift card with which I bought Anna an autograph book and the funnist picture of the three of us on the Buzzlight Year ride. Gerard is a Space Ranger!

Can I say I LOVE the Fastpass system. We covered more of Disney then I ever thought we would have. I got the standard picture where the artist cuts it out of black paper, all framed and ready to hang.

We are on our way back to the resort for a nap. Anna is out cold in the backseat. We are planning on going back for the fireworks tonight and a water park tomorrow. I have so much more to say about this trip. but I thought let me get some of it out of my head now.

Happy Birthday Baby!

Then and Now--Love them

Saturday Gerard and I took Anna on the boat we were talking about it being just a year since she first got on a boat. Her first trip was about 5 minutes long. Saturday we were on the larger of his two boats. I suggested that we take her on the small boat because this is the same week we took her out for the first time.

When I was looking back I realized that my favorite picture of Gerard, Papa and Anna was not part of that post. This picture is one of her favorites too actually the one she took to school in case she gets sad.

So Sunday we decided to go crabbing which she loved! Yes we let her touch the bait, no she is not driving fast and is sitting on Gerard's lap. Our little girl is afraid of nothing.





Last year




Here is another set of then and now pictures:
Last Year

Friday was her first day of Preschool

I have been trying to get to the computer for a couple of days now to try and document these very important events. Anna officially started school on Friday!!! Thursday night I went to the back to school night and as luck would have it Gerard who is usually off had picked up an extra shift. Thursday was also my Mother's birthday. This year was a much better year then last year. Can you believe it has been a year since we found out my Mother had lung cancer?

Anna loves to sing Happy Birthday so she was sung to over and over again. We had cake and I rushed off to the back to school night while my Mother watched Anna. This time last year I never thought I would be able to say that so being able to leave the two together watching movies was a blessing.


The back to school started off in the standard way, yes I have gone to different back to school nights for my nieces so I was familiar with some of the people. Then it was off to Anna's class room. Although I had met her teacher a couple of weeks ago I can not help but think that I do know her from either around town or perhaps she is one of La-La or Me-Me's friends from high school. She is young, happy and I do believe she still loves her job. The class room is filled with a bunch of different toys for pretend play art supplies and books.



I feel lucky in so many ways because this preschool is free, 5 days a week and all day. Most people would jump at the chance to send their children to this type of program considering the cost associated with private preschool but more on that later. I have a few reservations about sending her 5 days a week for the whole day or even the whole day at first.

My number one concern is for safety reasons parents have to drop the children at the front door. The children are expected to be able to navigate their way to their classroom without assistance. I think that is a lot to ask of a preschooler.

I am just not comfortable with that right now for a number of reasons. First off Anna is unable to say her name at this time so how can she communicate that she is lost or who she is? We have been working on this for months and I do believe that soon she will be able to say Anna but in my attempts to have her attach and bond with me how is opening a door and asking her to walk to a strange building alone to find her classroom good for her? For children who may not be struggling with attachment issues this might be an okay practice but this is not okay for Anna. Did I mention there are over 350 preschoolers in her school?

After much discussion about this Miss C. and I have come up with a plan. I will drop Anna off early and she will come to get her from me. I do hope that this will work for us. I will say for a young teacher I do like Miss C. The classroom is organized and everything is labeled. Anna will be known as Anna the apple. Her things will be labeled with her Anna and an apple. I am thinking about labeling a few things around the house too.

Much of the day is free play and there are only 12 children in her class with the teacher and her assistant. I think this is a fair adult to child ratio that will allow Anna to have some one on one time with either the teacher or the assistant.

My second concern is Anna is still only 2, yes she will be 3 in a week but I do not want her to be pushed through or starting Kindergarten as a 4 year old turning 5. If Anna's birthday were 10 days later she would not qualify for this program. She would not be able to start kindergarten until she was 5 turning 6. My plan is she will have 3 years of preschool and I feel like that is not up for discussion at this point.

So why send her at all? Well this had been my thoughts last week as well. Plan and simple I think Anna will benefit a great deal from the speech therapy that will be offered twice a week. For today this is the only reason why she is going to preschool. I may limit her preschool to just those two days but I am not making that decision for another 2 weeks.

So how was the first day? Well Gerard and I were both home so we were both able to walk her to class. She loved exploring the classroom. The teacher found a bunch of lions for Anna to play with, lions are her favorite. I took pictures of the classroom and Miss C. for a photo album for Anna to look at this weekend. I also put them on the refrigerator for us to talk about throughout the day.


So how did the first day go? When I went to pick up Anna she walked to the meeting spot with Miss C. where I got a good report that Anna played well, ate and did not cry. I was greeted with a big fat "Momma" and a hug. Here is the sad part then Anna turned to the strange lady next to me, threw her arms around her and gave her an even bigger hug and kiss. I am trying not to read too much into this act but even the lady was taken by surprise by Anna's hug and kiss. This is the first time Anna has ever done this to anyone. When I said this to La-La she had the same reaction as I did and thought this was a bit strange.

Later that day it was meltdown after meltdown. At one point I held Anna and talked to her about school, I told her that she was my baby and I would always come to get her because I am her Momma. Monday Anna will not be going to school because Miss C. will be out for a personal reason. We both think it is best for Anna to go on Tuesday instead.

I have pulled a couple of articles for the teacher to read. I think this web site has also been very helpful to others who do not understand why attachment and bonding are so important. There is a short story there called 'A Different Perspective' that I feel really wakes people up to the struggles that these little guys have when they finally are placed with their forever family.

Pre-School....

First attempt foiled! Last Thursday Gerard and I went to an informational meeting about the pre-school in our district. The actual first day of school was earlier in the week but we had to wait until Anna's IEP meeting for Speech therapy was competed so the earliest her first day could have been was Friday. I will say after that meeting I was completely freaked out about the process. Yup I put the brakes on everything to some degree.

Just a little over a year ago I had no control at all. After my first meeting with Anna I had put her down looked up and she was gone. Today things are much different as I navigate through becoming her Momma. the thoughts of putting Anna into the care of another person although qualified is difficult for me. Unlike other parents I already know what that feels like and I can say for certain that I do not like it.

I am usually not a passive-aggressive person but I know for fact I have been dragging my feet when it comes to pre-school. I never actually handed in her application or records. So because of that the new earliest date Anna could attend pre-school would have been Monday.

Sunday night I was warming up to the idea of Anna going to school on Monday morning then one big sneeze changed it all. Let me start by saying I am not the running to the doctor type for every little sneeze. Then Anna told me "Hot." Darn it she was hot. Just a low grade fever and as the night progressed a cough too. So the start of pre-school has been foiled.

Once the runny nose stops then I will send her to her first day. I do believe that it is reckless of me to send her in this condition. I will officially say I take it all back. I love that I work the night shift. If I had counted on her being at pre-school for child care I would have had to call out sick myself. I have a new appreciation for those who have to send there children to daycare.

I am hoping that she will be better tomorrow and perhaps she can attend school tomorrow. Thursday is back to school night. I feel lucky to be off and will be attending. Tell me again why you do not get the chance to meet the teachers before you have to send your child to school?

Baptism is done

One of the greatest honors Anna can give you is to name a toe after you. Yes you read that correctly. For months (like 7 or more) when Anna decides that she like you she will talk about you when she is in her car seat. Of course Mamma, Daddy, Nanny, Hans, Me-Me, La-La and Jimmy or a long pause is also Jimmy then Coco have been some of her favorites. Yesterday after Anna's Baptism Eddie was added to the toe list. The list does get changed up because we have so many family members and so few toes.

The stress of getting out of the house yesterday for Anna's Baptism ended up being much less then I thought it would be. I do think the stress was only lessened because I had packed the car the night before. The running joke this week was what will Gerard wear.

Let me clue you in on a little funny story. A couple of years ago when Gerard and I were build our other house we packed up everything and each lived out of a very small duffel bag. The construction of our house took longer then we thought and we were invited to a wedding. I just bought a new dress easy enough but Gerard borrowed an old suit from his Uncle Bucky. Okay I joke that the suit is about 45 years old but to be honest it is only about 30 years old.

So yesterday when he went to put his suit real suit it was no where to be found. Only Uncle Bucky's suit. I did tear the house apart and found it, lucky for him or should I say me.

The Baptism was beautiful. The priest was brand new and this was his first Baptism. Of course with most 2 almost 3 year olds, things like a Baptism can be tricky. Anna did wonderful. She laid her head back and giggled through the Baptism. I got a great picture of it but alas both Gerard and Eddie were in the picture so I am not able to post it. Sister Pat told us were could take more pictures of Anna by the holy water and that she was allowed to play in it some. So here is a picture from that.




Anna smiling at her Papa



Anna and I before the service started



Gerard, Anna and Sister Pat



My Mother, Anna and I



Gerard's Parents and Anna

The party after the service was very nice. I was blessed to have so many of my friends show up. Even the ones who had worked the night before. In all the day was perfect. I do wish that I had gone with my instinct to have a photographer at the church because that felt a little crazy. I do think most people are scared of my camera so I think Joy Babe, my niece will have to spend a day with me learning how to use it well.

She should not have done it.

Today I was in public and over heard a conversation about adoption. They we talking how this one birthmother on the show 16 and pregnant (I think) should not have given her child up for adoption. The conversation when on to discuss how how it ruined their relationship and that the adoptive Mother would not let them see the baby. I do know the show that they are talking.

The birth parents were also step siblings. I have seen follow up shows where the birth Mother was okay with her decision but the birth Father was not. I will be honest this is not a show that I have followed closely. I think the one thing that many people do not realize is emotions are fluid and never the same everyday. This is one thing that I think both adoptive and birth Mothers have in common. Not everyday is the same for me. I will be honest in the begining I had quite a bit of trouble.

I believe that I was battling with some adoption blues ans still do. At times I have felt guilty especially in the begining when I was having difficulty feeing like Anna's Momma. I am pretty sure this is a topic that I have not covered much here. My fellow blogger Stacy has told me that the first year is the most stressful and I do believe she is right.

Much of that stress is man made in my opinion but made never the less. When Anna first came home I felt guilty about so much, even though much of what I felt guilty about was out of my control, it did not stop me from feeling guilty or feeling sad.

I could not imagine how difficult it is to place your baby in the arms of another woman knowing that she will hold and comfort the baby. I would like to believe that more birth Mothers feel at peace with their decision to let another woman parent there child. I am not sure I could ever be okay or at peace if I were the birth Mother.

I guess my point to this is being supportive can be hard. I have had family and friends believe that they are being supportive but the reality is that many times what they are saying can be quite hurtful. How can this be fixed. Communication is the key but it has to be effective communication. I have yet to achieve this level with most of my family members, sad but true.

Here is the answer to your question...Was I hurt by these comments. No! I am a little more thick skinned then that but what I guess I do not understand is why is adoption seen as a bad thing? Why do people have such strong feeling either for or against it. Each situation where adoption is considered is very unique. No I do not believe that adoption is right for every situation but I would so much rather adoption be considered as an alternative then some of the other alternatives that I know are available.

Becoming a Momma is a selfless act. I believe that your child should come first in every situation. Believe it or not Gerard at times is much better then I am at this and will remind me of what we commited to when the decision to adopt Anna was made. Are you shocked? I was the first time he reminded me. More on that another day.

Her "first" real haircut!

When I first saw Anna's picture she was about 12 months old. She only had a little bit of hair growing in just like a baby should have. When I met Anna for the first time her was even shorter. I was sad that I did not get to feel the softness of her baby fine hair. During the time that I spent apart from her I secretly wished that they would not cut her hair again. On my second visit visit I realized that not only did they cut her hair but it was quite uneven.

As a practical person I do understand the reasons why her hair was cut. Short hair was easier for the caregivers to keep neat and clean. Plus in some baby homes I am sure that lice could be a problem. Anna did not have lice but checking for lice in short hair again is much easier then in longer hair.

I was also sad at the thought that her hair cut was not a celebration. I do tear up every time I think of all the firsts that I missed or that went unnoticed. I wonder when was the first time she smiled or laughed? What was it that made her laugh? I think this is the reason why I was so upset this past Christmas but back to her "first" hair cut.

Gerard and I decided very early on that we would wait to get Anna's hair cut. I can tell you that we did take quite a bit of heat over the fact that some times her hair was in her face. Keeping a clip or bow in her hair can be near impossible at times. What the people who criticized us about not cutting her hair or telling us about it being in her face did not understand is the pain that I felt for Anna about missing her first hair cut. I do wonder if she was scared or worried when it would happen or if it was just another part of her day.

Fast forward to yesterday...Jaime's SIL is a hairdresser and has just opened a beautiful shop right in town. Gerard got us a gift card for her first hair cut. Yesterday I decided that we should clean up her hair a little bit before she starts school and for her Baptism. Yes I said school so next week should prove to be interesting.

We decided to just get her hair trimmed. Honestly you can hardly tell that it was cut but combing it is a little easier. So of course pictures!
Waiting her turn and running a muck!

Can you say smart girl...This hairdresser has an iPhone loaded with children's games.

I love the way her hair flips under now when it is dry.

I got a new do yesterday as well not a whole lot different but a little different. Tomorrow I will get my color applied so hopefully I will post a picture on Saturday.

It worked! Baptism favors are almost done!

I was able to figure out how to put the text on the pictures of Anna thanks to my blogger friend. I thought I just might share with you all what it looked like. I decided to put the pictures on the back of the cards that I put the poem on.



Jean I used your favorite verse for the picture that I put in the locket for AM. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I often marvel how things seem to work out. I hope they work out for you too.



I ordered the sand dollars. They are beautiful. At first I was thinking about making them into a Christmas tree ornament but I think I will use them to tie up the bag of candy.




I got the final number of people to the restaurant yesterday. We had invited about 70 people to come but only about half are able to attend. At first I was a little upset but there is a quite a bit of positive that will come from having a smaller party. First off I changed the dinner selections to ones I like better. They cost a little bit more but with less people coming I figured I should have what I like. Now I know that with size party I will be able to spend plenty of time with each of our guests.

I ordered off Etsy a little gift for both Eddie and AM, Anna's God Parents. I was so happy to be able to keep with the theme of her favors. For Eddie a pewter key chain with a sand dollar at the end. For AM a silver locket with a sand dollar on it. I love Shutterfly because when you order pictures from them they send a proof sheet of pictures. I was able to use one of those for the locket.





Yesterday I bought a dress for myself but I may take it back because it is sleeveless. I will try it on again and get the girls opinion first. La-La bought her new shoes yesterday. Aside from getting Gerard's clothes together I am just about ready for the celebration.