Wow 15 months have past since I started the adoption process. I remember thinking when I started I just think I will die if I have to wait 15 months. The verdict is nope have not die yet! But I have changed and I think mostly in positive ways.
I think I have more patience then I did before I started this journey. Honestly I thought the adoption process would be easy. You know just fill out some paperwork, write a check and then take 2 small trips and BAM your done. Your a Mother.
Well I can say that is not the case but I think that the time that I have spent waiting has been a blessing. I have had time to reflect on the type of mother that I want to be. This reflection goes past decorating a room or planning a trip to Disney because although these are important steps that need to be taken they are not the most important things that I must think about.
I have taken the time to think about the values that I would like to instill into my child. I think that some times when pregnancy or becoming a Mother has come easy to an individual then this time to reflect is not just available. Who knows maybe I am wrong but that is my interpretation.
Over the months I have spent more time praying then I have in years. The funny thing is that many of my prayers have not been for me but for others who I think are facing challenges. I have seen others at the breaking point and in so much pain over the wait for a referral, travel trips, lost pregnancies or just the adjustment of coming home and changing roles.
Many people lately have been asking how I am doing because of the wait. Well the answer to this is somewhat complicated. In general I am holding up well. I have always said that I know that this wait is nothing compared to the wait in-between trips. I honestly am more worried about the wait between trips then the wait for a referral. Even though in my mind I know that there is a little guy waiting for me in Russia his or her life has not been affected by my presence. Today is just another day for that little one (hopefully a good day). Even though I do want to become a Mother in the past month I have had a hint of maybe I am not cut out for adoption. Those thoughts at times still poke their ugly heads into my thoughts at times but thankfully it is only rarely.
Back to praying for others. So now my secret is out I have been spending time praying for other adoptions to be completed with the least amount of hurt feelings and challenges. I have one adoption that I have been praying for a couple of times per day. I know both the adoptive family and the birth family. I feel for both families. In my heart I know that everything will work out the way that God has planned it. I am going to ask everyone who reads this blog to please pray for both the birth family and the adoptive family.
I can not express how honored I feel to be a small part of this potential adoption. The feeling is amazing. I believe that I may even get to post a picture of the adoptive family and the new baby to my blog once the baby is born. Finally I will get to be an "honorary family member" on the other side of the window looking into the nursery as opposed to looking out of it and working.
School Days - November 2023
4 months ago
6 comments:
Joy,
The word patience really wasn't one used to describe me. . .until we went through the process. You are ever in my prayers and know that the second thoughts are absolutely normal. You are a very special person.
I agree that the wait does grow our faith and patience. It is amazing how God blesses us when we think of others over ourselves. And, he has the perfect time and child waiting for you in Russia. It won't be long now.
We will definitely pray for the adoptive family and birth family. What a blessing for you to have this experience. God Bless You!
Joy, please know that others (like me!!) are praying for your adoption just as you prayed for us. The wait is intolerable at times, but as you said the real test comes between trips. I do hope you get your referral very soon so we can all celebrate with you!
Joy - waiting is def a challenge and grew our faith as well. I know God will bless our family soon and things will never be the same!
Hi Joy,
That is so sweet that you are praying for other families. With all of the up's and down's (and mostly downs for me and Kevin this past year), I began to have negative feelings, too. I agree that this has made my faith even stronger. I hope you know that I am praying for you and I hope you get that call even sooner than you think. Warmest wishes...Teresa
Joy,
Thank you so much for praying for families like us who are also waiting to adopt children.
I feel so deeply for you as you continue to wait to adopt your own little one, and I pray for you every day. I know it seems like it's going on forever (this wait really has been so long for you), but it WILL happen and probably when you least expect it. You will get that call and maybe you will have the answers why you've had to wait so long.
I can share with you that I never would have been able to take as much time off as I have to stay with Owen at home this past year if we had adopted him any sooner. It just wouldn't have worked out financially. This may not be your reason, and this may not make you feel any better, but I promise promise promise the waiting will all fade away when you have your child in your arms. I heard that so many times before we brought Owen home, and didn't really believe it, but it was so true.
And don't think for a moment that you aren't cut out for adoption or motherhood. You are going to be a wonderful mother to one very special little person!!
I can't wait to see that picture!
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