I'm I Awful If I Think Like This??

Yesterday I spent the day cleaning. I mean real cleaning not just the standard straightening up. I used to have someone come to do the deep cleaning but once I started to save for the adoption this was an area where I was able to cut cost.

When I came home this morning every glass was clean. Not one piece of laundry was dirty!! Beds made. All rooms vacuumed.

So here is were my guilt comes in. Gerard left for work before me. So the house was just how left it. I really love that. I know that soon I will never have that again in my life but I really LOVED that feeling this morning!

Paper Work Sent & Prayers Needed

I just got back from the post office. The documents that I had re-done are safely on their way to my cordinator in Michigan. I have to say I do think that I am pretty organized with the whole documents thing. The funny thing however is that I had put the binder that I keep all the documents on a self. This weekend I plan on going through it and re-organizing it so that I know where everything is placed.

Here is a question for those of you who have already done it. Do you take a complete copy of your dossier with you when you go??

Okay here is my prayer request. My nephew who is 22 is having a hard time. He has been back from Iraq for almost 2 years. During his second tour in Iraq he was injuried and has a head injury. I feel very blessed because his injury is one that I feel he can over come with the right support from the government, friend and his family. So if you could please include him in your prayers I would appreciated it.

Today is Truly a Wonderful Day!

Okay I just woke up. Yes it is almost dinner time for most of you but I am just starting my day. Last week I sent off some documents to Trenton, NJ for for the apostilles on the documents to update my dossier. Not until I got home from the Post Office did I realize that I forgot to get the infamous tracking ticket.

Honestly it never even crossed my mind. So here was the dilemma all of my precious documents sent in the mail with no record. For those of you who have been following for a long time you might remember when I sent the I-600 form into the US government and I LOST the tracking receipt. Wow was I worried then. Okay back to now.

I was not worried this time. This feeling is hard to explain. I was so not worried that I did not even think to mention it until today. I had sent a check in with the documents so I thought I will just keep checking the bank to see if they cashed the check. That is as good as a tracking ticket right! Well maybe not! So of course the first thing I did this morning I mean this afternoon is to check to see if the State of NJ cashed my check. I thought is was a long shot that they would have already cashed the check but a girl can dream, right.

So you think that I am going to say that they cashed the check well the answer is NO!
So I walked to the mailbox reluctantly only to see if there are any good sale fliers and what did I find WELL THIS!



HERE ARE THE DOCUMENTS! YES WITH THE APOSTILLES!

I think I can explain how this happened. I trusted in God to take care of everything and he did!

New Friends

Honestly, I really did not know if any one really reads this blog much. I have to say in the past couple of days I have been blessed with some comments from a few readers who have never commented before and I love it! I have gained so much knowledge and strength from those who are either in the process or have completed their adoptions.

Even though I have a supportive family I think that it is just easier to talk to others who are waiting or have waited. There are so many considerations that I must take into account because my experience of becoming a Mother is in many ways very different then anyone in my family has ever experienced. I know some family members are a bit afraid to ask how everything is going and still many do not understand why I have to wait at all. I find myself defending the process and I can say that sometimes I have less patience then I would ultimately like to have. As I have said in previous posts even I did not know how involved this would be for me.

I have the feeling that I will get a call closer to the holidays and I am really okay with that time frame. This week has been very productive for me. I am about 99% done with a gift that I started about a month ago. I have a feeling that it will be done just in time.



I have also finished a small crochet blanket that I started about 2 years ago. My problem is that I start a project and then I get busy and put it away. I am not sure if this will be a gift or if I will keep it for myself. I have that need to stay busy. My mind is better when my hands are busy. Who knew school was such a blessing.



I have also started to compile a list of adoptive parents who I have gotten in contact with so once I do get the call I can email everyone with the news. If you want to be on this list please shoot me an email and I will add you.

This week my agency was due to be audited by Russia. I hope and pray that this audit has went well. I know that there is always the off chance the adoption climate can change at a moments notice. I will keep you all updated as to how my agency has fared.

Dry Run or "There are Mice Dancing on my bed!!"

Because I work the night shift my Mother has volunteered to be the token adult at home when I work. Finding someone to be in the house when you work the night shift is actually more difficult then you would think. My Mother and I have talked it over many times about how it would be for her to stay over night at my house and how it will affect her life.

Well the opportunity has presented itself to us for a dry run hence the title of this post. My Mother called me about 2 weeks ago half crying half yelling and this is what she said

Mother "There are mice dancing on my bed!!!
Me (Half a sleep) What?
Mother " They are dancing on my bed!!! They are trying to attack me!!

Okay so the truth is she saw a mouse. She did not see any actual dancing. So now she refuses to go home. Honestly I could care less if she decided to just move in but I would never want to take away her Independence plus I think she really likes her house. I consider us very lucky because our exterminator called me back within 5 minutes of me leaving a message and was at her house with in 15 minutes looking for those dancing mice.

My be she will be home by Thanksgiving?? I think she does not want to leave because she knows that I plan on not telling anyone (except my loyal readers) about the referral and trip until I am just about ready to leave. I like to surprise people.

Paper Work Updates-DONE!

This time last year I was just starting the paper work for my home study. I remember being so nervous that I would somehow fail or not be approved for adoption. I think that it is pretty normal to be concerned about the process. Over the last couple of months I have learned that many of the steps that I must take are only to ensure that I am equipped to care for a child.

I consider myself very lucky because my home study update is completed with a notarized letter from my agency. May I say this was done with almost no stress. Friday I took a drive to Trenton for a couple of new birth certificates. 29.00 dollars and 35 minutes later I had 5 new birth certificates in my hands. Oddly enough I only had one other document that needed to be redone which was the copy of my passport. Come Monday morning I will have that notarized and then put into an envelope to be apostilled.

I feel like I am getting things done. I love that feeling. I know that I have a couple more documents that are coming up for renewal in January. Because of my current time line I believe that most of my dossier will expire so I plan on working on having everything filled out and just waiting to be signed, notarized and apostilled. I like being ahead of the game.

1st Annual Pick a Pumpkin to Amuse Joy Event

Usually by this time in October the weather is cool and crisp. Well that is every other year except this one. Today it felt like 80 degrees in the sun while hunting for the perfect pumpkins with my friends. Lynn and I have been thinking up different fun filled events to help to pass the time. Her son and grandsons have been great sports. I was even able to convince Geralyn to go on the hayride and bring her Mother, son and nieces.

The funny thing is this was the first time that Geralyn's Mother was went on a hayride and I think she really liked it. The kids were so funny picking pumpkins. I think it is truly amazing just how different each pumpkin can be. Here are a couple of pictures from the day.


Tyler and Zachary


Prized Pumpkins


My Favorite Little Pumpkin

Slip on Shoes vs Tie Up Shoes

The running joke in my house is that I can not tie my own shoes. The truth is I do know how to tie them but when I wear shoes that tie which is almost never Gerard ties them because he got tired of seeing me have to re-tie them about every fifteen minutes. Thank goodness for slip on shoes.

So the other day I was at my sister's house with my 5 year old nephew Aristotle and we were talking about when the baby comes I was not going to be allowed to show him how to tie his shoes. This is going to be Gerard's job.

So a couple minutes later of course Aristotle needed his shoes to be put on and tied. He brings them over to me and says "Just try, you know you have to practice tying shoes." So I put on his shoes and tied them up even tied a fancy double knot. He looks down and says "See Aunt Joy I just knew you could do it. We should call Uncle Gerard and tell him!"

The funny thing is after about 10 minutes of playing I see his father re-tying his shoes because they became untied. I guess you can not be good at everything.

15 Months-Thoughts and Reflections

Wow 15 months have past since I started the adoption process. I remember thinking when I started I just think I will die if I have to wait 15 months. The verdict is nope have not die yet! But I have changed and I think mostly in positive ways.

I think I have more patience then I did before I started this journey. Honestly I thought the adoption process would be easy. You know just fill out some paperwork, write a check and then take 2 small trips and BAM your done. Your a Mother.

Well I can say that is not the case but I think that the time that I have spent waiting has been a blessing. I have had time to reflect on the type of mother that I want to be. This reflection goes past decorating a room or planning a trip to Disney because although these are important steps that need to be taken they are not the most important things that I must think about.

I have taken the time to think about the values that I would like to instill into my child. I think that some times when pregnancy or becoming a Mother has come easy to an individual then this time to reflect is not just available. Who knows maybe I am wrong but that is my interpretation.

Over the months I have spent more time praying then I have in years. The funny thing is that many of my prayers have not been for me but for others who I think are facing challenges. I have seen others at the breaking point and in so much pain over the wait for a referral, travel trips, lost pregnancies or just the adjustment of coming home and changing roles.

Many people lately have been asking how I am doing because of the wait. Well the answer to this is somewhat complicated. In general I am holding up well. I have always said that I know that this wait is nothing compared to the wait in-between trips. I honestly am more worried about the wait between trips then the wait for a referral. Even though in my mind I know that there is a little guy waiting for me in Russia his or her life has not been affected by my presence. Today is just another day for that little one (hopefully a good day). Even though I do want to become a Mother in the past month I have had a hint of maybe I am not cut out for adoption. Those thoughts at times still poke their ugly heads into my thoughts at times but thankfully it is only rarely.

Back to praying for others. So now my secret is out I have been spending time praying for other adoptions to be completed with the least amount of hurt feelings and challenges. I have one adoption that I have been praying for a couple of times per day. I know both the adoptive family and the birth family. I feel for both families. In my heart I know that everything will work out the way that God has planned it. I am going to ask everyone who reads this blog to please pray for both the birth family and the adoptive family.

I can not express how honored I feel to be a small part of this potential adoption. The feeling is amazing. I believe that I may even get to post a picture of the adoptive family and the new baby to my blog once the baby is born. Finally I will get to be an "honorary family member" on the other side of the window looking into the nursery as opposed to looking out of it and working.

What a Deal!

Okay I have been passing the time at Target. I have been frequenting the clearance racks and I found such cute things. Not to sound crazy but we got our Target so I guess I am still in love with the idea of having one so close by. I found 2 large bottles of Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo for 1.34 usually this sells for 2.79 per bottle. Into the Rubbermaid bin it goes. I love to plan ahead and I hate to run out of things.

Oh the other great purchase is an adorable little bathing suit with a rash guard and matching hat. Guess how much I paid for everything Come on just guess okay you were right 3.73 so I got 2 different ones. Here they are!

Agency Update!

One thing that my agency has started to do for the families who are waiting for a referral or I guess in the process of starting an adoption with them is to provide an update about the program. Yesterday to my surprise I got a program update (Yeah for Me). So if any one from my agency is reading this blog keep up the good work.

Since I am a numbers girl this type of information is very valuable to me. I think it is an occupational hazard for me, I like the facts. Without the facts I can not process things as well. Speculation can drive you crazy and it has been making me nuts to think that my referral could come any day. So I am not expecting to have a referral until after the new year. If the referral comes sooner great but I am resigned to the idea that I will not travel until 2009.

So for all those who are interested here are the facts:

1. Total number of families waiting for court: 18 My fellow blogger friend Jane just got her date yesterday.

2. Total number of waiting families: 70
11 with accepted referrals waiting for first trip
59 waiting for a referral:
boy/girl 16
girl 18
boy 14
2 children (of either gender) 11

3.Number of families not yet registered (initial packet is in St. Petersburg office):

I try to put a positive spin on every thing about this adoption so here is my list of positive things that I am trying to think about while waiting:

1. I really do not want to be separated for Christmas from my little one.

2. If I were able to have my new little guy home for Christmas I think the holiday may be a bit scary for him or her because of all the changes that the baby will already have experienced. In my mind I am sure that it is better that I bring home the little one after the holidays because by the time next Christmas rolls around I pray that the attachment process of my little one will be secure by then.

3. Saving up the PTO. Every 2 weeks my PTO bank accumulates 10.77 hours of PTO. The more PTO that I accumulate the more paid time off I will be able to take once the baby is here. My dream is to work part time for a year and still have a full time paycheck.

4. I will have one more tax return to save before the adoption is complete. Okay I know that it is not a good idea but I usually get a large tax return. My hope is to pay off my car with this years return. This only makes things easier for me once the little one comes home.

5. If my first trip is in February then the second trip will not be until about April or May. Then I would have my maternity leave in the spring/summer months which is a beautiful time to be off. I could not imagine being cooped up in the house for the winter months.

There is always a silver lining to every cloud the trick is looking for it. I am less upset then I was earlier in the month. I am at peace that there are many things that are out of my control and this is one of them.