Yup still here

Has it really almost been a week? I feel like so much has happened. Gerard had anoher kidney stone which he passed while giving his urine sample. I am sure you are all glad that you know that...right?

This felt like this was my first real week of being back to work and going to school. I am so glad that I had scheduled the time off that I did because I was able to get used to being back in school without having to worry about work too. I have a little bit of a system now so I hope things will get easier.

One benefit of having an office in the laundry room is you never have dirty laundry. I use that as my stretch time. I can not believe how much I love my new office.

Anna went to a birthday party at a bouncy place. I walked in to find one of my dear friends from work there, yup if was her niece, who knew. We had a great time. Anna had a hard time at first getting over the wall so yup you will see pictures of me and my shocking white legs going over the wall.

My one sister is in town who I have not seen since November of 2009. She is an over he road truck driver so she can be anywhere on anyday. She is taking a small vacation for the next couple of weeks so hopefully you will get to see a picture of her and Anna. I am hoping to arrange a family group photo because the last one was 10years ago. Hard to believe it has been that long.

Gerard has taken on caring for Anna while I figure out a balance between school and work. He is amazing with her. She is thriving from his one on one attention. I did chuckle when he told me it was hard to get things done with Anna in tow. My reaction was REALLY I would not know? More on him in another post in a much more serious nature so stay tuned.

So when he is out with Anna he knows how much I feel like I am missing so I usually get 2 or 3 random pictures of what they are doing. I love it. He is no photographer but some of the pictures are so candid of our "Anna do it girl" that I just have to laugh. I was thinking about doing a picture post with some of his pictures. The quality is not great because they are from his phone but they are unique.

In the spirit of every entry to the blog is better with pictures I will end with a few of the 600 I took this week.
Trying to climb a tree

This is Anna's mad face. We are teaching her about Mad, happy, sad and angry faces. She really puts on a show if you ask her to do one.

I will admit the slide was a lot of fun. Are you blinded by my legs?


Hans on his birthday. Carring his toys like this is his new thing.

Anna was rocking the bunny and singing 'Rock a bye baby' then she told the baby "No crying, Anna got you."

Anna putting sunblock on her horse. Have to avoid a sunburn after all.

Feeding Coco candy. She thinks this is her dog but really Coco belongs to La-La. No worries Coco spit out the candy she is more of a savory eater.

Anna combing Gerard's hair


Flowers from my garden

So that is most of our week in pictures. We have been busy.

Answers from my last post

It seems like every person I know who has adopted except Stacy (GO CAPS!) has had an issue with the adoption credit. Please do not get me wrong I am so very thankful that this credit is available but I can tell you this was not the reason why I decided adoption was my path to motherhood.

I was going to try to answer everyone's comments with a return email but then I got to wondering if others perhaps had the same questions and needed the answers too. If you have not read the comments from my previous post this will sound pretty disjointed sorry.

Melissa--When I wrote that I had three years to add up it was because Anna's paperwork and the expenses around her adoption covered 3 different tax years. For the adoption credit I had to total up my expenses for each year separately. So I had expenses for 2007, 2008 and 2009. That is what I meant but I can see how it was worded funny.

Julie--Yes, you are right about Gerard. He is probably the most private person I have ever met. He is very reserve. He is the master of distraction, if he starts to see a conversation head down the wrong path he will try to completely change the subject or walk away. I see now that this is a good quality but in our early years together I would just become frustrated.

For Gerard he does not want the focus of all conversations about Anna to be about her being adopted. He does not want her to be treated differently then any other child who has come into our families. I will say the topic of Anna being adopted comes up pretty much once a day if not more often by our family members. I think that is where he gets frustrated.

In private (Gerard, Anna and I) the three of us are very open about her adoption. I usually do most of the talking. We even have a special puzzle that she loves to do of St. Basil's cathedral (I got it at T@rget) that we put together as a family which lets us talk about when Anna and I were in Moscow together.

I know in some families adoption is a dirty word or a secret but not in ours. I actually have cousins who are adopted on both sides of my family. He wants her to hear about her orphanage from me no one else, which makes sense since I was there and experienced it.

When Anna was first home I was encountered by a few distant family members who made remarks that were not kind about Russia. This has caused a great amount of tension in certain family situations. Gerard and I are adamant that no one will speak ill of Russia or the Russian people in our presence. He has spoken to his family and I have spoken to mine both families are now crystal clear on the subject.

I have a gift card for B@rnes & Nobles and I am going to order those books when I am done with this post. Anna LOVES books so I think they will be a good thing. Thank you so much for the titles.

Lisa--I hope your tax refund comes quickly. I think it is nice to know that I am not the only one experiencing this bump in the road.

Laura--I hope you do not have to pull out those receipts again...Ugh! I am sure they have everything you need.

JennStar--You have a great question. If I paid for it I tired to keep the receipt. As I said I know I am missing a few but I would say I have about 95% of them in the binder. I put all of my documents in clear sleeves so the documents would be protected. The receipts, I punched holes in and put in the back of the binder. For the small receipts I dedicated a clear plastic sleeve and just kept putting them into the pocket. I found the page from the IRS that explains what is needed. Here is the link

Also the Visa IR-3 is a page in the Russian passport in case you were wondering.

I hope to be able to take some pictures of the Anna and Hans tomorrow. I am lucky because I will get to watch Hans twice a week for a couple of weeks. Anna and Hans have learned to play together so nicely. In the morning Anna will go through the list of people she loves and Hans is way up there on the list.

Taxes...Oh Boy

I know I am not alone when I say "Oh Boy this years taxes!" This is the second year that I am to claim the adoption credit and what a mess it has been. This year is so different. Last year I did the taxes sent them in electronically and boom my refund was in my bank account a couple of weeks later.

This year there were many differences right off the bat. I had to file a paper return. Okay no problem there I did. This year I had to include an adoption decree and Anna's Visa. Okay I did but in the pit of my stomach I felt a pang of I really do not like this feeling. I waited and waited and no refund.

Many weeks later I received a partial refund, mind you I filed in March. I waited and waited to hear something more about what my next steps should be. Then I got the letter saying they were reviewing my return and I would be contacted if additional information was needed. The following week I got the letter asking for receipts.

So this past week, I spent a little over 30 dollars for the copying and close to 19 dollars for the postage but I have now sent in every receipt I have so that the IRS can examine them. I pulled out my adoption binder and so many feeling came out with it. Please wish the person who examines them good luck,the stack of receipts is tremendous.


Yes this is volume 2, I have another just like it but that one does not have receipts mostly educational information.


This is the envelope they wanted me to use to send this back to them. It made me laugh and feel a little sick all at once.

Anna is adopted, this is a fact I have never kept from her. She has heard the word adoption many times. If some one is interested in adopting or has adopted I am very open about my experience in the right setting. I prefer to field questions of a sensitive nature in a somewhat private setting. Gerard prefers that no one ask and he would never answer their questions, usually he just walks away. We differ in how we respond to questions for a bunch of reasons. I feel like I asked so many questions when I was going through the process that I owe it to others to answer questions asked of me.

My adoption books used to sit in the dinning room, right of the hutch when I was waiting for Anna to come home. I had tried to put them away a number of times but for some reason this paperwork was my only connection to becoming a Momma. After our first Post Placement Report, Gerard told me that I needed to put this book away. At the time I did not see the harm in leaving it out but he presented a good argument as to why it should be put away. I told him after I did the taxes.

Here is a little know fact about me...I have anxiety about paperwork. Last years taxes were difficult because I had to total up all the receipts according to the year, 3 tax years. This is something that I avoided like the plague. I realized I did not want to know how much the adoption expenses cost us. I knew I had a chunk of money in the bank and now I did not and that was enough for me. I never wanted Anna to have a price attached to her.

So this year when I pulled out the books that once were so familiar and felt good to hold suddenly they did not have that same feeling. When I carried these books I used to wrap my arms around them and hug them but they never hugged back like Anna does. I kept pretty much every receipt but not all. I know I did not. I now have a rough idea of how much money was spent but I try not to ever think about that.

I pray every night that the bulk of the money spent went to the other children waiting or living in the orphanages but somehow I just do not think so.

Gerard had no clue what the total was for adoption related expenses and does not want to know. I will say it was expensive and worth every penny. I know he was shocked by the stack of receipts. Tonight I packed the big book away again. Suddenly I felt a relief that it was gone again. I hugged Anna and smiled.

If I get the tax return that I am owed life here will be very different. If I do not get the return then it was God's will because life will go on. I am so thankful that next year I will not have to provide for or think of the adoption credit again. I will have a nice simple, ordinary return just the way I like it.

Did you know...

that one of my favorite varieties of sunflowers have Russian roots? Please pardon the pun.


No really Russian farmers in the beginning of the 19th century grew these beautiful flowers by the acre. The need was developed by the Russian Orthodox church because during Lent other types of oils were not to be consumed. Here is a link to the history of the Mammoth Russian sunflowers

I found out this piece of information strictly on accident when I was planning a project with Anna's class in April. Usually I spend way too much money on annuals for my flower beds. This year I just felt like the money could serve us better in other areas. I LOVE flowers really I do. In the summer time I always have a tiny bouquet of flowers by the kitchen sink from my garden.

I was feeling a little sad for two reasons: First since I broke my arm 2 years ago gardening has become something that is painful my elbow hurts all the time. My love of gardening has not stopped but my ability to just do it myself has.

Second since Gerard has been home he has taken over the gardening or should I say the spring clean up. His idea of spring clean up included removing some of my grasses, perennials and banning me from planting anything. The ban on me is because I am odd (okay if you have met me you know I am) and like things in odd numbers. Gerard is even (Okay if you know him you know it is true), everything thing is even, straight and orderly. We could not be more different.

Which brings me back to feeling a little sad over my gardens. They are all clean, neat, orderly and missing the random annuals that I usually put here and there and every where. I remembered seeing in a magazine a children's garden where tee-pee was made from Mammoth Russian sunflowers and morning glories. The sunflowers and morning glories were planted in a circle. once the sunflowers were tall enough the Mother tied the tops together to form a tee-pee. The morning glories grew up the sunflowers.

I looked through my garden supplies and found some seeds for both. I convinced Gerard that the sunflowers were a good thing. Anna and I got his okay so the sunflowers and morning glories have been planted. I just checked and we have a few small seeds poking out of the ground. I am no longer sad and instead I am envisioning a big bouquet of sunflowers on the dining room table.









The next time you see a big, beautiful sunflower you might just think of Russia too.

P.S. Melissa this made me think of those beautiful pictures of Colby at the sunflower farm.

Transformation complete

A while back I mentioned that I was changing my laundry room around a bit. I am one of those people who need a desk if I am going to school. I like being able to just walk in sit down and start. One night at work it came to me that if I had the stacking dryer that matched my washer I could put a desk in the laundry room.

I can not believe I did not think of this sooner. my laundry room is literally only 5feet X 7 feet. A pretty big room for a small house. In fairness to my small house I have a very large master bedroom that could easily fit a desk. If Anna is sleeping in there then I would be limited. My master bedroom is tucked away behind the garage and completely away from the rest of the house. If I were in the laundry room I can hear everything that is going on in the living room if Anna is playing. Basically a very good spot for me to have an office.

So this morning as Anna continues to sleep I am in my new office. I have installed my drink coaster on my new desk. I am ready to get busy. I do have a funny story about buying a new computer but I will leave that for another day.

The before: I only had 2.5 feet between the dryer and the window.



The after. The office area now measures 5 foot X 5 foot and feels quite roomy.



I have finally found the perfect spot for my sign. It reads...Where are you on your journey? Life is a journey after all.

My Homecoming

Has it really been that long? I want to rewind back a little bit to my home coming because it was important to us. As you all know I was out of town for 4 days last week. Anna was a little distressed at the airport but thank goodness Gerard was able to get her completely calmed down before I had to walk in to the airport.

The night before I came home Gerard called me to tell me that she was upset. She told him "Anna needs Momma! Where Momma? Anna needs Momma!" When he called me she could hear my voice on the other end of the phone. She grabbed the phone to tell me the same thing. The poor baby was crying. Between Gerard and I we were able to settle her down. I told her that as soon as I got home I would hold her and give her a bottle.

Originally Gerard was going to pick me up from the airport but at the last minute I decided to take the train to a station in New Jersey and ride home with my sister. That option was a much longer trip and I have been told by Gerard "never again." I will admit it did make for a very long travel day for me. Live and learn.

Gerard and Anna were out front weeding the flower beds when we pulled up. When I got out of the car she looked confused then she started yelling, "Momma, Momma home." She ran to me and gave me an never ending hug then to Gerard to tell him one more time that I was home. As I picked her up she must have remembered what I told her the night before, instantly she told me "Hold, baba, hold Anna now." Anna only drinks a bottle for me and rarely for Gerard. I find that it is comforting for her.

For the next couple of days she was glued to my hip. At times she has been a little uneasy if my Mother or La-La stops by but we all tell her right away that they are just here to visit. Then she tells them "Anna stays with Momma!" So that is how Anna fared while I was gone. I know she missed me and I got a warm welcome so which tells me that many of the decisions that we have made in the past in terms of attachment and bonding are working.

How did Gerard fair? I think this is best done by bullet points.

-He learned that losing a puzzle piece can be traumatic
-He learned that you can have two puzzles out but not on the same table
-He now understands why I put on the timer at dinner time
-He learned that playing outside keeps the house cleaner
-He learned it hurt to see Anna cry for me
-He learned that holding and talking to Anna is way more important then he thought

In all I really think that this trip came at just the right time. Gerard did a great job with Anna while I was gone. I feel like with our past work schedules he missed out on so much. This trip just reinforced that he loves to spend time with Anna. She is a really neat kid with a huge imagination.

I could not imagine having to travel like that for a living. My heart goes out to all the working parents who have to travel like this to make a living. I am not sure what is on the horizon for Gerard. He may have to travel a bit for work. We have done a little bit of talking about this being a possibility. In the past we would have never considered moving to be close to a job but with the price of gas it may be something we have to consider, right now nothing is off the table.

Just Pictures

Anna being silly, laying on the grass while I took pictures of Hans

They both love to play hard

I love the way they love each other

Hans

I hope to be able to blog about my home coming tonight.

Missing my guys

At home Anna is always looking for her guys. I so wish I were home right now even though being where I am is so important. I miss my guys. I was trying last night to upload some pictures I took of Anna and Hans before I left bit for some reason I was not able to do so. I guess this will have to wait until I get home.

I have learned a few interesting things while I have been away. I think I have found my main research topic for my course studies. I will spare you all what it is because honestly even I think it is quite gross.

I hope to be able to connect with La-la and Anna later today. I miss Anna like crazy. I am so glad I am off this weekend.

On a different note I have learned that I can take my time with the courses. I do not have to have them completed before 2015 as long as I am enrolled on a program. Now I just have to determine if I want to complete this as a full time student or part time. I still need to think about this so I have not committed to anything yet but I am leaning towards part time.

Happy Mother's Day

I want to wish all the Mothers in the world a Happy Mother's Day. Every birth, foster, adoptive, God and Grandmother.

made it to Memphis

On the ground in Memphis. Next stop Kansas City. I will say the airport BBQ is calling my name.

My first time

I can not believe I just kissed Anna and Gerard and walked into the airport alone. What a different feeling. This is the first time I have been so far away from Anna. Originally Gerard was going to take a vacation day because being away from both of us is difficult but now I do not have to worry about that. What a big relief.

They have a bunch of fun stuff planned for this week. I plan to get a ton of reading for school done if I do not get distracted. Anna cried and told me "Mommy stay Anna" I told her I had to go so she switched it to "Anna go." When I told her she could not go there were some tears. Daddy is way better at getting her to settle down. Out came the portable DVD player so she was happy and told me so. One more big hug and they were off.

I am boarding now so wish me luck.

Kansas City here I come

Well actually Independence, Missouri here I come. When I was waiting for Anna I completed my Bachelor's degree in Nursing. I was lucky because I was able to do it all online. I was all set up to continue with the same school but was waiting because those classes were 5-6 weeks long and very intense. If I decided to stay with my current school I would only need 29 more credits toward my MSN.

I am glad I waited. I have found a new school that I can do most of the course material online with the exception of the two visits to Independence, Missouri and the clinical portion. Once I am finished I will have a Masters degree in Nursing and qualify to sit to become a Nurse Practitioner (NP). If I had stayed with my previous school I would not have met the requirements to sit for my NP.

So what does that mean? What this means is as a Nurse Practitioner I will have many more opportunities within my career to earn more money with the potential of being out of the house less. Working the night shift takes a toll on a person. Both Gerard and I have aged as a result of us not sleeping as much as we need to sleep. My hopes is that one day soon Gerard and I will both be back to working the day shift. I think that with the ability to work as a Nurse Practitioner I may be able to drop down to part time hours.

Why now? Well to put it simply I must because legislation has changed. If I were to wait I would need to have a doctorate in nursing. My current employer will pay for a portion of my MSN but will not pay for any portion of a doctorate. I must have this degree completed and be licenced as a Nurse Practitioner before 2015.

How will this affect Anna? My hope is that she will not be affected much at all. Anna will be enrolled into summer camp preschool that will be 4 days per week. Gerard and I struggled with should we send her to summer preschool. Gerard did not want her to go mostly because he wants her to be able to have a break from school. I on the other hand wanted her to go because her speech therapy will continue throughout the summer.

We discussed this and the final decision was we will send Anna to summer preschool. We think Anna will benefit greatly from this program. My hope is to be able to complete my school work when Anna is at school. In September I think Anna will start all day pre-school so I will have more time to complete my classroom work.

I will be missing Mother's day with Anna because of traveling but Gerard and Anna have plans on taking me to breakfast then the airport. I like to think everyday is Mother's day anyway. So if you were traveling to Kansas City or should I say Independence, Missouri what would you do or want the see? I love to explore new places.

Dear Anonymous (Julie W.)

Dear Anonymous,
I feel like there have been so many times that I have started a blog post with this same title. This time I just could not get you out of my mind. Julie for you to reach out to me about your situation is exactly the reason why I wrote about Our Big News. For those who may not read the comments here is what she wrote:

Anonymous said...
Joy
I enjoy your blog so much. My husband was laid off 2 years ago, and he is still looking for a full time job with benefits. We are struggling, but luckily we are making it (barely) and we appreciate the few silver linings that there are. Anyways, if you could squeeze in a prayer that Chris W. in Illinois could find a job, we'd appreciate it! I love your positive attitude and like I have said before, I just love your little blog, it is so hopeful and full of love for your little family.
Julie W.

I love this blog mostly because of people like you, Julie. I know so many prayed for Anna, Gerard and I over the past couple of years and have never told us. Gerard and I usually talk about pretty much every post and all the comments that I receive. After I posted about Our big news and I received your comment Julie I thought long and hard about your situation. Gerard was asleep but I felt that waking him up was the right thing to do so I did. We read you comment together. That night we prayed together for you and your situation.

I will say that I got an overwhelming feeling of relief. Again I know you all will think I am crazy but Julie I just wanted you to know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Please when your husband gets the job that he needs for your family please email me or comment. I will remember you.

Our Big News!

I feel so blessed. At times I think my reaction to events in my life are totally in God's hands. I could never imagined being this happy in our current situation. The big event in our life is that Gerard has been laid off.

I have known Gerard for 23 years in all that time he was only laid off one other time, the day before Christmas. After that lay off he had a new better job with in 2 weeks. I suspect that we may have to wait a longer time for him to be offered a new job based on the current job market.

Let me rewind a bit, this all started after our trip to Washington D.C. Gerard came home on Monday afternoon and told me of the situation. He was upset, more quiet then usual. I knew Gerard had been thinking about changing jobs but in the past he has always been cautious and waited until he had a new job first.

The news came on Good Friday that this would be Gerard's last day. We wanted wait to tell anyone so that we could all enjoy the holiday. Easter day was beautiful so I am glad that we waited.

We had talked about how a change in his job would affect our current schedule but never imagined that we would soon have to start living it. I know that he felt like he would miss out on time with Anna if he worked during the day (I was not convinced). See on days when I worked together he would pick Anna up from school, spend the afternoon with her then come home for dinner. I always argued that he could spend more time with her after work everyday if he worked the day shift. So him switching to a day shift job has been a big debate for the past couple of months.

I think on many levels a woman is most fulfilled when she has a child and feels the most useful. I know that having Anna has changed me in many ways and Gerard for that matter. I think men like my Father, Gerard's Father and Gerard gain self-esteem by providing for their families. When a job is taken from them I think there is a grieving process that many do not realize happens. I think many families have financial stresses and ours is no different. We have many people who depend on us not only Anna. We discussed right away a few of the most important issues. I believe that we have come up with solutions for each one. For most people losing a job is devastating for Gerard this is no different.

So that is the situation and here is my reaction. I am actually quite shocked by my reaction. At first I was mad, very mad. I started to think about all the holidays that we had to cut short so he could work. At his old job you were only off for a holiday if it fell on your day off, this included every holiday including Christmas. In the past scheduling holidays was always tricky because I am also responsible to work a number of holidays at my job. I had already started to worry about Christmas of 2011 because he was not going to be off and I really want Anna to wake up at home with at least one parent on the holidays. My hope is that he will get a job that is a little more family friendly.

Here is where the amazing part comes in, once I processed that we would not be where we are today without the job he had I could see that this is all part of God's plan for us. By the time Gerard got home on Good Friday I had already processed all of those feeling of being mad. I was suddenly excited about what lies ahead. I know many have not met me in person but when I am excited it is contagious.

I was careful not to overwhelm him because he does take much longer to process many of these types of emotions then I do. I looked at him told him I loved him, he could not look at me in the eye. He felt like he failed us. I decided that we needed to just play around for a little while so that is what we did. I was sad for him that he could not see what I saw but I knew with time he would.

Over the next few days we were glued together so to speak. I kept telling him how happy I was that he was home. I kept pointing out how much fun he was having with Anna. Most importantly I kept pointing out that we were so lucky that this happened. I feel like this is such a blessing. I have always tried to believe that something good can come out of situations that seem difficult or bad, this is the very same thing I kept telling Adrienne when her when she was in New Jersey and the adoption of the little girl did not come to be. I think when you are in the thick of a situation that you can only see as hopeless or bad seeing that silver lining is extremely difficult. I believe that some times these situations are placed in our path to remind us that we are not in control. I think these types of situations help to humble us to ask for God's guidance.

I was off for most of the week that followed so each time I could see him beating himself up in his head I made him look at me straight in the eye and I told him how happy I was. I also told him that I was not worried about the money part either. Here is the amazing part I really mean every thing that I say. Just reading this paragraph I am tearing up with happy tears.

We all went out to dinner the other night, nothing special just Taco Bell, I looked at him I told him again how happy I was he was home then he looked at me and I started to cry. I know this is so hard to explain and my words will not do this justice you all will just think I am a bit crazy. I felt like for so long we have been running a race that never ends. I feel like we have wasted precious time working that we could be spending with Anna as a family.

Since Anna has come home Gerard has not had much time off at the most 4 days in a row. He has powered through working and taking care of the houses. I have never as long as I have known Gerard ever had to worry about him feeling the need to hold down our sofa. Literately, if he sits down at home for about 20 minutes a day that is it. Early last week he made a list of things that need to be done at the houses and he is powering through it. The list is 7 pages long so he is still very busy. Work that he was putting off until he had a stretch off is now on the top of the list.

Anna has never had the luxury of having both of us home together this much. I think this break for Gerard has been nothing but positive for Anna. I pray that in the end Gerard is able to see this too. In the past week Anna has been climbing into both of our laps and telling us that she loves us which is very new. I see that Anna feeds off of my emotions and I think this is a direct result of how I have been trying to reassure and support Gerard.

I wanted to wait to make this public until we told our families. I know there are some family members who read the blog so I wanted them to hear from us rather then from the Internet. We needed to make sure that our families understand that we see this as a blessing. Out of respect to Gerard's feelings I wanted to wait until he told his parents. This required us processing our feelings first that is the only reason why we waited.

I guess what I want my message to be today is that something positive comes from all things that we struggle with. Being laid off has ruined many families in the past couple of years. I am sure that each one of us knows of at least one person who has been laid off. I have chosen to support Gerard emotionally. I want him to know that bigger things are on the horizon.

I bet some of you are scratching your heads and saying is this the same person who wanted to separate from Gerard. My answer is yes it is me. I am sure that the struggles that Gerard and I had in our relationship last year was preparation for today's struggle.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the loss of a job I beg you to look at it as a blessing. This is hard but if you are able to see how it has benefited you perhaps your outlook many change.

Avoidance & Anna's first real play date

Yes that is the word that I would use to describe my behavior. I have so much that I need to write about yet I hate to keep a secret. Soon I promise I will be able to tell you what is testing us. I so want to tell you because I am a little shocked at my own personal response that I think it might help others.

Saturday was a big day for us. I picked Anna up from the camp ground. Ann got to go with La-La, Jim Dear, Greg, Me-Me and Hans. The camp ground is literally up the street from my home and I knew Gerard was going to be home if she got scared and wanted to come home. She had a great time. I am not really camping material but I may have to start to make an exception for Anna.


We were invited to watch Anna's teacher get married. Miss C sent home a notice about 2 weeks ago, Anna had no real clue as to what we were doing but was excited to see her friends. We watched from the balcony. By far we had the best seats in the house.

About halfway through the service Anna was getting a little restless. This was a very special day for Miss C so I decided to take Anna outside to wait for the service to end. We blew a few bubbles (Miss C said that is what she was going to have at the church so we were prepared). A few minutes later the guest started to come out of the church. We were joined by all but one child from her class so I was glad that I made the effort to take Anna...at least I was up to that point.

Waiting for Miss C.

We all waited at the front of the church for the formal pictures to be done then out came Miss C now know as Mrs. M. She wanted a picture with all the students and before I knew it one of the other mothers pushed Anna to the front of the pack of kids. Anna was still quite busy blowing bubbles. I felt my heart beat race, I called out to Mrs. S the teacher's assistant to keep an eye on Anna. I remember trying to push my way to the front to be able to grab Anna.

I was able to see on my tip toes Mrs. M bend down for a quick photo, Anna was like a bubble machine. Then I saw Mrs. M step away. I reached into try and grab Anna who was about 6 inches too far away, then I heard it. The shocked sighs from the crowd. Then I heard Anna say to Mrs S "All done. Empty." I knew in the pit of my stomach this was not good. I stretched to reach her and caught a glimpse of the flower girl in her beautiful taupe colored dress cover from chest to hem with Anna's bubbles.

I am not sure what happened. Mrs. S said someone knocked into Anna which I am sure is what happened but it did not make me feel any better. Mrs. S said she would explain it to Mrs. M and that it would be okay. I just feel so bad for Mrs. M but worst for the flower girl who was old enough to know this was not good.

I want to get her something so that she knows just how sorry I am but I just do not know what to pick up. Anna and I have practiced saying sorry so that she can tell Mrs. M herself.

After the wedding Anna had her first real play date with a classmate. I drive and pick up Anna so I have met a few of the mothers and see them pretty much everyday. I had suggested that we do something after the wedding to the one mother that I really like so we decided to play at her house.

Here is the craziness about how small of a town I live in. We watched Vivian's house be built. They live across the lagoon from Gerard's parents. I am about 90% sure I took care of Vivian when she was born.

I really like this mother (Virginia). She is funny, quick witted and likes to have fun. Vivian has good manners and I like what I have seen of Virginia's parenting of her daughter. The girls played hard together and really seemed to have fun. I am so sad for us that Vivian will be going into kindergarten because I really like her and her parents. I hope our paths cross again some day. Hopefully we will be able to get together again.

I do have some pictures to add to this entry but I am blogging from my phone. I promise to add them later.