Monday, October 25, 2010

Silly

When I read another's blog posts for me part of reading it is reading the comments that are left. I may not always leave a comment but many times I have gained a new insight from others comments. In my last post I saw the about Gerard caring for Anna independently for the first time. If you read my comments on the surface you might think Rob or the Anonymous person were being mean spirited towards Gerard. I don't agree, Rob is right. This is probably the reason why Dede married him, he is a good man and a good father to Liam. Edited to add Rob & Dede's blog

I have relieved that in the past couple of months Gerard and I have had a few issues that that have impacted our relationship. Gerard readily accepts that he has not helped as much as he could have when Anna first came home with the day to day chores of being a parent. He has changed more then I expected he would in the past couple of months. Could he do more? Well yes but I also realize that change comes from with in and I can not make another change. Much of the opinion that Rob wrote is the same stuff that tell new fathers when I am teaching them to care for their newborns, making it easier for the Momma will make their lives easier.

I spoke with a friend last night and the one thing that she told me when we were talking about another situation is...Bad fathers or mothers will show themselves in time they do not need others to point them out. What does that mean? I think today it is easy to say that someone does not do things as good as another without being able to look at the things that this person is doing right.

I know it is very hard for many to understand Gerard and that includes me at times. I imagine it is even harder to understand his quirks when you have never met him or seen him for that matter. Gerard is a good man and father for a number to reason.

1. He loves us...even when I cry or yell or when I am mad at him. To be honest I have not been very nice to him in the past couple of months. He accepted Anna from the minute he saw her face. When I had doubts he did not and loved her unconditionally.

2. He is a one woman man. In my book that is a big thing. I know that having tolerance is something that we should all strive for but there is NO tolerance when it comes to this point for me. Sorry call me human.

3. Gerard knows how to have fun and joke around. Laughter is a wonderful gift. His serious nature can produce a very dry sense of humor which I love.

4. He plays with Anna. Sounds silly or like something that he SHOULD do but from the minute he walks in the door he is pulled down to his knees and plays nonstop no matter how tired he is. The attention that he gives to Anna is amazing. He's patience is saint like when it comes to her. In over a year he has never even raised his voice towards her.

These are just couple of reasons why I love him and I do think he is a good father. In fact in the beginning I think he was a better father then I was a mother at times.

Cream rises to the top it just takes time for that to happen.

4 comments:

www.adventureswithaidan.org said...

Of course he's a good father! He is compassionate and shows not only Anna his love and care, but to you too. I've seen it. I know. : ) As with everything, time is the key here. Time will have him doing things he never thought he would do. It will all work out somehow. God placed that precious girl with you all for a reason!
God Bless!

Anonymous said...

I'm confused - who is Dede and Liam? Are you not married to Gerard? I'm sorry - I don't mean to be stupid! I thought I read that you have been with Gerard for 20 years, so I assumed he was your husband.

Melissa said...

I agree. I always love looking at the comments. The written word is a funny thing, one that is often misunderstood. Also admit that i hadn't read the post about Gerard flying solo. It is a cute one. Men, in general don't like to change diapers and I don't blame him for wanting someone else to do it. I would too. When we first picked Colby up, Mike looked at me as if the diaper might actually hurt him. Rather cute. But you are lucky that Gerard plays with Anna. Many fathers won't. I think he's a great dad. It definitely shows that you both have lots of love for her, and her for both of you. Keep it up! But I agree, a few more nights solo are in order.
Melissa

Troy and Rachel said...

Here's my take on all this - Parents are better at some ages than others. Troy is a GREAT father, but he just didn't know what to do with a 2 year old Daniel, but now that Daniel is 4 and walking, talking, interested in tools, etc., Troy is a SHINING father. Gerard will shine at some areas and ages and you in others.