Exactly one year ago

I can hardly believe that one year ago I was on a plane heading home with my daughter. The poor little baby in my arms trying her best to understand what was going on, who I was and if she would ever know or see anything that was familiar again. She and I had been up for close to 24 hours by the time Gerard picked us up from that airport only to face a 2 hour drive home.

As I walked from the gate at the airport her eyes were big and scared. Anna had only been with me a couple days so she did not know what to expect. We were one of the last people who got off the plane. Because we arrived at the airport close to midnight the shops and food stands were all closed. There were no more flights waiting to depart. The usually busy Newark airport seemed empty.

Gerard was waiting for us in his usual quiet manner no waving of arms or a big loud hello. He was just leaning up against the railing. His eyes lit up when he saw her then he hugged me.

Anna was in my arms not really holding on and looked at him with an indifferent gaze. No smile no real eye contact was made, she was very tired. I belted her into the car seat, tucked a blanket around her and she fell asleep quietly without any fussing.

Today the difference is surreal. Most mornings the second or third thing she asks for is DaDa. He calls us every morning to see how her night went and see what she is doing, if she has eaten anything. He likes a full run down every morning which I love. When she hears his voice on the phone there is no chance of her not talking to him. She puts the phone to her eye while finishing a puzzle and says "Lo" (which means hello). When he comes home she runs to the door to greet home with a hug a kiss and then proceeds to drag him to the floor to play with her. Everyday he does this with a smile on his face. I am pretty sure no one would ever believe that this happens everyday.

The little girl who just a year ago flipped through a sudoku book to avoid eye contact will now engage me by laying on the floor and pretending to cry so that I will pick her up and tell her she is my forever baby while I rock her. The same child who looked at us strangers with an indifferent gaze runs to us now when she sees us hug with her arms up in the air, then she takes our faces and makes us kiss. What a difference a year has made.

There have been challenges believe me. Actually I have a blog entry in my head that I am having some difficulty writing but I hope to be able to get it out soon.