12 Months Post Placement Report

Can you believe that I have completed my second Post Placement Report yesterday. Christine my social worker came over and we talked about Anna's development. Christine and I both think Anna is attaching to me well. Anna never left my side but did make and maintain eye contact with Christine. Anna even engaged her in conversation but did not leave my side or attempt to cuddle or be held by her.

I know this is funny to think about but believe it or not Anna is really only with a small number of people and even fewer are given permission to show her affection. I realized this the one day while talking with a very good friend who has only met Anna less then five times in the ten months since she has been home. I do not force Anna to give hugs or kisses to anyone. Anna has started to laying her head down on our shoulders and patting our backs just like we pat her back.

I will not lie I do have some level of anxiety when ever the social worker comes to my home not because I do not like her or trust her. If we had not met in this setting I think we could have been friends. I guess it comes from my inner feelings about adoption. In the past 10 months I have fought at times to establish that I am Anna's mother more so in my head then in any other setting. Attachment is a two way street not only does Anna have to attach and bond with me but I to her.

I think it is strange to not have Anna with me now even if I am tired. I love watching her play even when I do not have the energy to pick up the hot mess that she can make in a matter of minutes. I guess when the social worker comes to visit even though it is in Anna's best interest I feel like my parenting abilities are in doubt. I know it is a silly feeling but I will be glad when this formal paperwork is completed.

Not great pictures but I do want to try and get one of the two of us together at each milestone.