Checked in...let the wait begin

I feel like I did not sleep at all last night. Anna went to sleep easy and slept through me packing, finishing up laundry and picking up the house. I was up at 3 am to check the time and was able to fall back to sleep so for that I am thankful. My Mother and sister Jackie picked up La-La on their way to my house the minor mishap was they were at the wrong house on the wrong street. The poor elderly lady who was woken up by my sister knocking on the door must have been thinking "What is going on here!" Even funnier that she would not open the door.

So we are in the pre-surgical waiting room waiting for her to be called back to get the ball rolling. We are early, no traffic which was good. The traffic makes my Mother nervous. Her surgery could be as short as 4 hours or as long as 6, I know the OR is booked for 8 hours so the day should be a long one.

I prepared myself earlier this week by reading over all her test results and biopsy reports. Here is the real deal & time line...Last August we found out that my Mother had a mass in her lung that had been missed by 4 previous CT scans over a 4 year span. Finding this mass prompted a PET scan that showed an area of concern in her GYN area that the doctors were actually more worried about then the lung at first. Over the past couple of years my Mother has complained of vague back pain, hind sight is 20/20 after all. The decision was made to biopsy the lung first to determine if the lung cancer was a secondary sight. My Mother's blind biopsy of her uterus did not show cancer. During her lung surgery a D & C was completed and A-typical cells were found. A mass between her spine and uterus was also found and I am now realizing could be the source of her back pain.

The bottom line is this could be 1. A-Typical cells or pre-cancer, 2. A non cancerous mass, 3. An ovary, or 4. Cancer. Of course I am hoping for the best but preparing for a longer haul if that is the path that has been choosen for us.

I guess part of my issue over the past couple of months is I am angry. I am angry that she did go to the doctors, she had scans, I looked at the reports and nothing was ever noted about the lung mass. I am angry that her doctors did not order an MRI for her back pain and instead brushed it off as old age. I have been trying to think in terms of this was missed for a reason. Sitting here in the waiting room I find it hard to keep up that level of thinking.

I know somewhere someone has thought why does she keep driving so far away for treatment. This is the answer...thrust...bottom line. I feel like for now I need for her care to be in the hands of others who do this everyday all day long. Have I had challenges in the hospital we have choosen to take my Mother...yes but I do thrust that they are equipped to care for her.

God has taken me on this journey for a reason. For the life of me I can not understand why but I am trying to just follow the path that has been choosen.

Jackie will be updating her blog too soon. I find it interesting because quiet honestly she is quite private and she has found it hard to just put it out there for others to read.

Please also keep Adrienne in your prayers. I imagine she is going crazy sitting in a hospital room. She is full of energry so that has to be hard for her.