Merry Christmas...belated

This holiday was so different from past years. There had been a bit of a struggle as to everyone's roles and how they have changed within the family but with time I am hoping that it will all straighten itself out too. I had intended on posting something to the blog much sooner then this. Quite funny how I talk about you all who read it and feel bad when I have let a few days elapse.

This is officially the first Christmas that I have spent at home for both Christmas Eve and Christmas day in 20 years. Usually none of the Christmas holiday is spent at my house but we felt that it was extremely important for Anna to be home for all the holidays this year and that was the best decision that we made. Were there hurt feels as a result of this decision...yes for that I am sad but I hope in the end that those who were hurt have gained a new understanding that we are a small family within a much larger family one. Protecting, nurturing and giving Anna the best childhood that we can is our number one job everything else is second.

Was everything picture perfect as in my dreams...yes and no...most of it was better. I never cease to be amazed as to how busy I am these days. I did not get to finish Anna's stocking so instead she used my stocking that was made by my Grandmother when I was very young. Actually, I never remember any other stocking so it might just be my first and only stocking. I have realized that I may have to start next week to prepare for next year so much to do.

For Christmas Eve I decided that I would rather spend my time resting (I worked into Christmas Eve and the day before) then cooking so at the last minute I decided to have it catered. Best decision I ever made and will probably be repeated next year too. Gerard's parents sister, BIL and 2 of my sisters plus nieces were over to spend time with us. I think this amazed Anna because for the most part we have tried our best to keep her world as small as possible. What a difference from Thanksgiving.

Actually when I think about it Thanksgiving was a turning point for Anna in a way. The following day her eating started to pick up. She tried a few new things and now will eat turkey and hot dogs. We still struggle to get the 1000 calories into her everyday but I am hopeful that this will become easier with time.

On Christmas Eve she opened a couple of presents. Some of her favorites were a memory game and one of the coolest baby dolls I have ever seen. The doll was purchased at T@rget, the baby is so life like. Of course the clothes were taken off immediately why do kids do that? I will tell you that Anna is very attentive to this baby. For the first hour she really did not want anyone else to take "care" of her baby except her or myself. The baby drinks from a bottle, blinks its eyes, giggles, cries and even falls asleep after it has been fed for an extended period of time.

The little dog in the picture is coconut, Jillian's baby. Coconut sometimes comes when Jillian is watching Anna. They have become fast friends. Thank goodness coconut is pretty fast or Anna would be holding her non-stop.

Christmas morning she woke up to find that Santa had left her a pink retro kitchen. What a neat gift. She has literately played with it for hours at a time. I struggle with do I leave it in the living room or put it in her bedroom. Coconut was with us on Christmas morning as Anna was playing with her kitchen opening and closing the doors I could see what she was thinking. 'That dog is small enough to fit in the cabinet' The chase was on and coconut escaped each and every time. Honestly coconut had nothing to worry about because I would have stepped in if she did actually caught her.

She also got a little mouse that runs around from her playmate Samantha. Suddenly I saw that look come across her face again with a spring in her step she walked it straight to the pink retro kitchen and in the cabinet the mouse went. I must remind my Mother of that because mice freak her out.

I found the best key chain on Etsy for Gerard from Anna. Small and flat (he does not use a key chain one of those OCD things even though he has a number of different keys) on it hand stamped it said "I have a hero, his name is Daddy". To say he loved it would be an understatement.

The entire day was spent in our PJs. Later in the afternoon as Gerard and I were sitting on the sofa exhausted he grabbed my hand and just said "Look at her, she is here just playing." I think he was starting to tear up. I have dreamed about this day for so many years that I can not remember not dreaming about it now it is reality.