I Found Another Thing to Buy-Robeez

Okay, I was very busy surfing the FRUA website and I came across a discussion about shoes for Little Bean. I have to say I have already purchased some bigger sizes but I was very conflicted about what I would take with me. I saw these beautiful Ugg boots but I decided to wait.

To hear me talk you would think I am traveling next week but I am not. I just like to be prepared. On the FRUA website everyone was saying ‘do not worry you can buy shoes when you are there they all wear Robeez shoes’ so I started searching for these on the internet to see if I could get a picture of them.

All I can say is how cute are they. I love the different designs. My little nephew loves his Crocs but I was thinking open shoes and Siberia in January are probably not a good mix. I just can not decide which ones to buy.

From what I read on the Web site these shoes are made of leather and very easy to put and keep on the baby. Plus there were so many different designs. I love them all. These will be the new baby gift that I give my friends.
Here is the official web site. I also found them on EBay.

Documents Faxed for Review

Well,
I have to say that soon my life will be put back in order. I guess I am no different then anyone else when it comes to gathering the needed documents for an international adoption. Today I sent putting the documents in order and faxing them to my coordinator for her review.

I hope that all the documents are right but who knows. I am sure that I could not get this done the right way on the first time out the door. I am waiting on the I-171 and on document from the State of New Jersey about the agency who did my home study. Once I receive the letter from the State I guess the next step is to get it all apostilled. I have seen a picture on someone's blog where they took a picture of all the documents after they were apostilled. I think that looks pretty cool. I can not wait until I can take that picture.

Let the wait bring. I am feeling confident today so bring it on.

On a side note about waiting for little bean, every year my family tries to get away. This year I was the only one who could not get away because I had dog sitting issues. This year I wanted to rent a beach house in North Carolina for the whole family. I know if I reserve the house the accreditation will come right away. So I intend on looking this weekend.

Under penalty of death I was asked to clean up the dinning room by Gerard. Okay death is a little strong. See I have had these papers spread out for the last 2 weeks. So as he asked so nicely I have cleared a spot for dinner. Really he told me he was going to hide the computer and my papers if I did not stop obsessing about getting the Dossier done. I jus keep looking at these papers over and over. Add to that reading on the FRUA website and little else has been done around here.

Things to do with Little Bean # 2

The second most important thing that I would like to do with Little Bean is introduce him or her to the Christian faith. Having a solid belief in Jesus Christ is one are best things that could happen to a person. As a mother I understand the responsibility that I have to my child to make sure that Little Bean is exposed to religious teachings.

I grew up in a family who has always believed in Jesus Christ. As a child I was not brought up in any particular faith. My father was Episcopalian and my mother Catholic. My parents decided early that we (meaning my younger sister and I) would not receive formal religious studies or receive our sacraments until we were old enough to choose which religion we wanted to be a part of. I celebrated the Christian holidays and lived the best way I knew how to as a child into adulthood. I know my mother was always upset that this is what was agreed upon but she kept her word to my father at least that is the way I see it.

As an adult I made the choice to become a Catholic. I think this was a natural choice for me because even though the choice was mine to make. I pretty much only knew the Catholic faith. I remember many years ago when Gerard and I first met he told me 2 things. The first was that he would know if I was the one in about 3 months and the second thing was that if I was the one I needed to receive my sacraments in a Christian faith. This was one of the things I loved about him the minute that he said it. He knew that I wanted to make these sacraments and that it was important to me to raise a family with these beliefs.

So I am proud to say Gerard and I started dating in August of 1990 and I received my sacraments in April of 18, 1992 at Saint Francis of Assisi. My child will receive the same sacraments as I did in the same church as I did. Just the thought of this gives me a warm feeling inside.

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I-600 Completed and Sent In

The last couple of days have been very busy on the adoption home front. I have received my final home study with all the notarized documents in place with the exception of the home study agency license. This document will be sent to me from the state of New Jersey. This is a big deal for me so I am very excited.

Because the paperwork has been changed for what CHI is requiring in order to send a Dossier to Russia I did not have to put together as many papers as others did in the past. See things really do go my way. I did however have to send in the I-600 form and need to have a copy of the approval letter to bring home little bean (I-171). Friday, I ripped open the home study package and put the copy into the envelope that has been waiting and when directly to the bank for the check and then the post office.

Here is another instance where I was very lucky. My bank's lobby stays open late and the post office was next door. I was the last one to be let into the post office. Now I know that this seems silly. I could have mailed this form on Saturday and the Department of Homeland Security would receive it on the same day as if I mailed it on Friday but I do not care because I am so excited.

I have been trying to pace myself during this wait even though I have not waited on paper as long as some of you out there. I have waited many years for the money to do this and for all the physical moves that I have made to settle down so that I can start this journey. I feel blessed that so far I have not reached any spot in this wait or journey that has made me rethink my decision.

I was reading on the FRUA website the other night about the wait for the I-171 approval. I started a ticker so that I can easily figure out how many days this will take to get back. I read on the Department of Homeland Security Website that it will take about 3 months for the I-171 to be sent to me. Hopefully it will be back to me by February 1, 2008.

Well I am off to do some really fun things like clean the bathroom, laundry, vacuum and make the bed. I do not want any of you to be jealous that I am going to have so much fun today.

New video as Promised

Well, I know everyone already knows that I am a little computer illiterate. I have tried for a couple of days to upload some video of my day at the park with my sister Julie and my nieces. Well I have been very unsuccessful. I tried to upload it to the blogger site and to youtube and was unsuccessful in both areas. See I spliced together the video and I have a feeling that this could be part of the problem although I did it the same way I did the Sands Implosion.

I am determined to get this video uploaded because I feel that I need to be very good at this for future use. I am hoping that I will master this by the time I travel to Russia because as we all know it is very important to have a video history of where our children come from. I have always envied people who make it look so easy. I am trying to think of challenges like this one as a Parenting Prep Class. If my child is anything like me or Gerard then I will need 24 hour Parenting Prep Classes until he or she arrives.

I think the art of taking pictures and video should be covered somewhere when you become an adult. I hope and pray that with time I will improve and be able to just point, shoot, edit and view like it was second nature. When in reality I like Gerard do not like to have my picture taken or to be video taped. Pictures of me are rare. I know everyone is saying to themselves that there are a ton of pictures of her on this blog. Well let me tell you over the years I have become very camera shy.

I am sure that this has to do with the extra weight that I have put on over the years or it is from the fear of watching myself age. I think it might have to do with a disagreement that I had with a family member about childhood pictures. I just stopped taking pictures and stop posing for pictures. I am trying to get past all of that as best as I can. I have put this on my list of things I would like to change about myself along with about a million other things.

But back to pictures, I find that I am draw to the blogs that have the most pictures. These are the ones that I enjoy reading the most. So please excuse the fact that these videos are sideways I could not figure that part out. Spliced together they are really funny. I decided to make a video diary of everyone in the family while we are waiting for things to get done. This is still only part of the day. Maybe once I am able to figure out how to post a spliced video I will postvideo of everyone in my family and their thoughts about waiting for Little Bean.

Jaime is the master at this playground toy.




Jillian as Wilma Flintstone.




Jennica as Betty and Joy needing help to keep her pants up.




The quote of the day comes from Jillian "If you want to freak people out poop in the tub. It does it every time!"

Things I Want to Do When Little Bean Comes Along

I love lists. I know many of you who know me well may not believe that but I do. When I make a 'to do' list I may keep it for many days, months or years. I find this is one way to keep myself on track. There are so many things I want to do, places I want to go and things I want to see. So keeping a list is one of the things I do to help keep me on track. I do not want to be that person who said I wished I had done that or I could never find the time to do that. So I keep a list crazy you might think but I have a hard time remembering everything that I want to do or be in this one short life.

So today when I was checking things off my list I thought making a list of things that I want to do once Little Bean comes home could be a good thing. So while I was thinking about this post today I thought I will never be able to put in to words all the things that I want to do once the baby comes home. So I made another decision. This list will be an on going list. One I can add to over the years and change as the situations present themselves.

Things I want to do with Little Bean

1. Oh course bring him or her home is the first on the list.
This is a day that I have anticipated for many years. There was a point in time when I thought I did not want to have children. I am being honest. I thought that life was hard enough without having to take care of another person. Sometimes I feel so drained by my job and family responsibilities. This has changed. I could not tell you exactly when it changed but it did.

When I realized that I wanted a child at first I longed to have a child who looked just like Gerard. I can say there have been many days when I cried over not being able to have that dream. Over the last couple of years I have worried about not being pregnant or having a child at all. One day it hit me I want to be a mother not necessarily pregnant. That is when it hit me that adopting was what God had in store for me. God does want me to be a mother and I know that because he has given me everything that I have needed in order to adopt. I do not like to say that the road so far has been easy because it has not. I have had to deal with many different family issues that surround me adopting a child from Russia but the funny thing is these issues have been other people's issues not mine and not Gerard's. For that I am grateful.

Well this post is much longer then I initially intended for it to be. As the days, months and years go by I will add to this list. So unfortunately for anyone reading this blog you will probably be bored to tears and email me to please stop and save the world from destruction due to boredom. I apologize now for all the up coming painful posts.

Family Fun Time

Family and being with my family is very important to me. Some say that I put too much emphasis on family but I do not think so (at least most of the time). I love spending time with my nieces and nephews as well as my sisters. I think it is fair to say they make me a little crazy as I am sure that I make them a little crazy as well. I think that is what family is a about. I also think that worrying about a person is one way to show that you care about someone. I know that they probability worry about me as much as I worry about them. Gerard thinks I am crazy at time for worrying about everyone when in reality he worries about everyone too.

So this weekend I was able to spend time with my family this weekend. Jennica my niece was able to come down from Connecticut. I was so happy to see her because I usually only get to see her every couple of months. The trip is a long one to New Jersey.

So I was able to get some things checked off my list on Saturday. I think the stars are in alignment because I was able to get some pictures of all my nieces in one spot. This has not happened since 2001. When I look back at those pictures on the beach they all look so different. The biggest change has been to Little Joy (The Little Bozz). She has easily grown a couple of feet to become the tallest girl in the family.

I decided to take them all to Wal-Mart to get the family portrait done. I was lucky to get Eric (Jillian’s Husband) but unlucky to not get Greg (Jaime’s Fiancée). Unfortunately, we had no choice but to get it done on Saturday because Eric haVideo s to get back to Coast Guard school and then they are moving to Washington State. Greg was putting a roof on their house and I have to agree with Greg the roof was more important.

So after the portraits were done I came up with the idea to video tape everyone’s thoughts and feelings about Little Bean. So we went to the park in town. Well I have to say we got some really funny things on video and even funnier things when the video was off. In all the day was very fun and productive for me. I just want them all to know that they will be a big part of Little Bean’s life and thank you for putting up with my crazy demands for pictures and video. As Gerard says “You always want the most impossible pictures.” Well Gerard you are right and I got them and here they are.

Random pictures at the park of the Girls and Eric

I hope be able to upload the videos to the blog either tomorrow or the next day. So there is more of this day to come.

A Night Out with Gerard! (Sands Casino Implosion)

Last night Gerard and I decided that we should have a night out together. Gerard and I are not big partiers so neither of us frequent a bar or night club. We tend to do things that seem a little crazy to others and we usually have a ton of fun doing it. We live close to Atlantic City, New Jersey. For those of you who are no familiar with Atlantic City the main economy is gambling. There are many different casinos in Atlantic City which is located on the beach. There is a boardwalk and all the little shops that go along with boardwalks. In the past Atlantic City (AC) was not the type of town that I would go to for a family vacation. The boardwalk and surrounding area seemed a little questionable. Over the years however the AC has tried to change the image of the town and I have to say they are doing a wonderful job from what I saw last night. There are now many wonderful places to eat and shop. The casinos are trying to revitalize the area so that more people think of AC as a vacation spot on the shore not only a place to gamble.

This brings us to the night out that Gerard and I had planned. I am sure that I have mentioned in the past that Gerard is a workaholic. He loves to cover as much ground as possible in any given situation. He is always on the run. I think this is one of the reasons why we balance each other out so well. I love to take in the experience and nail him down so to speak. The Sands casino was scheduled to be imploded last night October 18, 2007 at 9:30 pm. For some reason the moon and stars were in alignment and we were both off. This tends to be a very difficult thing these days because we are both trying to work as much as possible to save money. This is also another reason why it is difficult to go out because we are trying to save money. The implosion was free and I am all about the free date these days. Okay maybe not free we paid for parking, dinner and a little gambling but is all less the 50 dollars (I had some comps).

I have never been to an implosion before and I have to say if you get the chance it was wonderful. Before the Sands was to be imploded the casino group who purchased the land sprung for a fireworks show. I love fireworks so I was all over that besides I worked the fourth of July and missed out on the fireworks (Gerard worked so it is no fun to go to fireworks alone). I made sure that we got there is plenty of time to park and take a few pictures with my camera. That is when I figured out this camera can record so I said may as well try it out tonight. So here are some pictures of the Sands casino and our night out and a video of the implosion. Yes that is my loud voice in the video and yes Gerard tends to shake my arm when I am trying to do something that requires a steady hand (I think he does not even realize he is doing it).



By the way I did get a great picture of Gerard but he does not want anyone to see it so I promised I would not put it on the blog. I have to say that I would imagine that many of you out there who do not know us well would think that he is imaginary. I have to say I could not make up half the things he says or does.

As far as the Dossier I am waiting on the final copy of the home study so that I can get it all apostilled and sent to CHI. As soon as I have the copy in my hand I will be sending out the I-600, driving to get my birth certificate and dropping off the documents to be apostilled. I am hoping that the Dossier will be complete and sent to CHI by the first of the year.

Brooklyn and Gerard's Favorite Spots

As I told you all when I have no news on the adoption home front I plan on posting something about Gerard or myself or our families. Well when we were in Brooklyn for J's funeral this was the first time Gerard had been back there in 10 years. So Gerard is a very quiet man. He loves being able sit in the back yard with Dottie. Traffic is not something that he loves to deal with as well so the daily life of living in Brooklyn for him was not one that he really enjoyed. He hated the traffic, parking and the fact that it took so much time to get anywhere. See this is one of the reasons why he moved to South Jersey. I like to think it was for me but I am sure that fishing and peace and quiet were high on the list.

I have to say I never minded going to Brooklyn with him but he just never like to go. Maybe I would feel differently if I had grown up there. Before J died I asked him if we could go to Brooklyn so that I could take pictures of where he grew up for Little Bean's scrapbook. He would always tell me one day. Who knew that day would come and the need for us to be in Brooklyn would be a sad one. We drove to Brooklyn via the magic carpet (AKA Gerard driving too fast for anyone but me and Nel. I never mention that I brought my camera because we mostly we sad that J passed and out of respect for Eddie and his family. I do not know what even made me bring it.

Gerard looked at Nel and I after the services and he asked me "Do you have your camera." See Aunt Nel does not live in Brooklyn anymore either but she does miss the driving around and buying certain things that you can only get in Brooklyn. So I told him "Yes I brought it." He asked me "What do you want pictures of maybe all the cars in the street and no place to park?" I told him that I wanted pictures of everything that he remembers that was good about living in Brooklyn. He thought for a minute and then we were off driving around Brooklyn.

When I think about this now I think this was the perfect day to do this see J loved Brooklyn and even after her children moved out of Brooklyn she would never leave because that was her home. This was also Gerard's family's home up until 10 years ago. Well here are the pictures that I took I hope you all do not think this is too boring but I think that knowing where a person comes from and the different experiences that he or she has had gives you a different perspective on why that person may act the way he or she does.

For Little Bean it is my hope that I am able to photograph many of the good things about Russia. I want to make sure that he or she knows that a place is can not be all good or all bad. I think after this day Gerard also figured this out. He is still talking about the 4 of us driving around Brooklyn and there have been no complaints.

We would go here for pastries and stand in a line down the street at Christmas time




The best bread in Brooklyn. If you live in New Jersey and are from New York this is one of the main topics at dinner the bread in New Jersey is never as good as the bread from Brooklyn (That is the truth)



Pastosa Raviolis. If you ever get a chance to eat them buy extra these are the best Raviolis there are in the world.


Gerard's House in Brooklyn. His dog Bobo would sit in the window and watch everything that happened on the street.



Gerard's Grade School Saint Thomas of Aquinas. This is where Gerard, Eddie, AM and his cousins Billie and Jackie (Aunt Nel's boys) all went to school. They would walk there everyday and have lunch at Lenny and John's pizza store.



Aunt Nel's House she lived around the corner from Gerard when he was a child. This is one of the things that he loves the most being close to his family. Aunt Nel still lives in the same town as us and we love it when she drops by to see us.



One of the funny things that I noticed was that most of these places centered arround food. Even his Aunt's House she was and is still always baking or cooking something for him.

Russian Database

I was reading on the FRUA website that you are able to see pictures of children who are up for adoption so after trying to figure it out for about an hour I was able to look at some of the pictures. I thought long and hard about whether I should show these pictures to Gerard. He has a big fear that we will get their and the referral that we will receive will be for a child with sever special needs. Although I am to care for a child who has these special needs and these children to desperately need homes. Gerard does not feel that he is able to meet the needs of this type of child.

So after lots of thought and consideration and in the spirit of not giving Gerard a panic attack I showed him the data base. As always he surprised me. I showed him children that appeared normal in the data base and some special needs children who we would consider. I think he took it very well. The one thing that he said that I think said it all was "I know My Bozz will be able to find us the right child. You know what we can deal with and what we can't deal with so the decision is yours."

As far as the age we are planning to move it up to 24 months from 18 months. I feel comfortable with that change and I think Gerard is somewhat relieved once he saw the pictures.
I want to thank everyone who kept us in their prayers while we made this decision.

Here is the website for the Russian Database
http://www.usynovite.ru/

Pictures for the Journey

I was thinking about some of the things that I have read about on other blogs. One of the things that I want to leave Little Bean after the first trip is a photo album of all the family members. I have 5 sisters and Gerard has one sister. We are all pretty close and I know that when we come home I think the child will feel a bit overwhelmed by the shear number of people. So I decided to have everyone's picture done at Wal-Mart. This is a little expensive because of the number of people who I want to have individual photos of but I think it is worth it.

Then it got me thinking back. We have not had a family picture since 2001 for my family and we were missing Michael and Aristotle was not born yet. We had all been on vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC and I called a photographer and had it done on the beach. I was so glad that we had these pictures done because they are so beautiful. I was looking at these pictures and I realized that the children have changed so much. Heck one is married and the other one is engaged to name only a few changes. Derrick has grown into a man and Michael is taller then ever. Jennica's hair is much shorter and she wears it straight now. Little Joy has grown taller then me. So I think it is time.

The last good group picture that we have of Gerard's family was from Ann-Marie's (AM, Which is what we actually call her) Wedding and I do not even have a copy. I hope to get them all together to get a family picture done but Gerard does have an aversion to cameras. I think that will have to be AM's job. She has a special way with her brother to get him to do the things that she wants him to do.

So here is the list of people that I would like to have a 5x7 of to leave with the baby (I am sure that I will have left someone out)
Me
Gerard
Nanny (My mother)
Jessica, Bill, Jennica, Derrick
Joan, Michael
Julie, Jaime, Greg, Jillian, Eric, Joy
Jackie, Rick, Aristotle (New baby)
Jenny
Chippy (Gerard's dad)
Mommybird (Gerard's mother)
AM & Eddie
Aunt Nel

More Changes

More Chnages and a You Tube video: Second Chance Children (My Story of Russian Adoption)

Well,
There is another change in my adoption. The coordinator that I have been working with out of New York is leaving CHI. I just happened to read my emails today. At first when I read it I was a little worried because I was just starting to get use to her. I will miss Susha. She made it very easy for me when I would email her a question. Because I work the night shift I am not always awake during the day (mostly I just agree to what ever is said if the call is before noon).

The next change that I am considering is changing the age range of what child I would like a referral for. Currently, I have the age range down for 18 months or younger. I was considering changing this to 24 months or younger. I know that this does not seem like a big difference to people who are not currently adopting or have not adopted.

I was thinking about making a list of pros and cons to help me make the decision. If I have not touched on a pro or con I would appreciate it if you would post your thoughts about the differences between the two different age groups.

PROS
1. The wait time may be shorter if I extend the age range
2. By using extended family leave little bean will be closer to 36 months which is the minimum age for the Head Start Program in my area.
3. Maybe I will not have to be in Russia during the winter time (Burr)
4. If I had given birth to Little Bean I would have been 34. I know this sounds a little crazy but in MY plan I wanted to have all my children by the time I was 30. Yes I wanted 4 but at 30,000 dollars a piece I do not see that happening unless I win the Mega millions (Oh I forgot that is scheduled for February 2008).

CONS
1. The child will be older and at an increased risk of attachment disorder
2. The child will have spent more time in an orphanage
3. The fee schedule is the same so there is no financial difference
I found this video on you tube that made me start to think that changing the age range would not be the end of the world. I was not able to figure out how to put his into one post so look at the post above/div>

Have you ever wondered what your child will look like?

I have pretty much figured out that I will get a referral for a boy. So you all know what that means I am getting a girl. I like to think about the differences between having a boy or a girl. I dream of putting a little girl's hair into pigtails like Cupcake. I also dream of spending time at the barber getting a nice little man haircut like Iliya. Both of these children are absolutely beautiful and you can really see the differences between having a boy or a girl.

I know that when you are pregnant one of the things that you think about is how the baby will look. Will the baby have my eyes and his ears? So I started asking the mothers and fathers of the babies who I am caring for in the nursery. Does he or she look like what you thought he/she would look? I can honestly say not one of them said yes. But all of these parents said the children were more beautiful then they thought they would be.

I have to admit I day dream a lot about what little bean will look like but in the end I believe I will have the same reaction that I would have had if I were pregnant. I know for those of you who have already completed your forever families this is probably no longer a concern for you because you could not imagine having any other child. That is the amazing part for me.

I know that once little bean is here I will know and feel in my heart that this child was placed with us for many reasons not only because he/she looks like one of us. I may not be able to say that he/she has my eyes or Gerard's ears but I know that I will be able to pick out the different things that we have had an influence on because of how we will raise our child. Maybe I am a little crazy but I am looking forward to all the different stages of childhood.

As far as the paperwork goes I have to drive to Trenton to get the right type of birth certificate. I plan on doing this next week sometime. I am still waiting to get the final home study paper work back. If I do not here anything by Monday I will call to see how things are coming. In New Jersey I can not submit my I-600 until the home study is final apparently the application just sits there until the home study is there as well. My goal is to have the Dossier completed for December 1, 2007.