Big Changes are Here for the New Year!

I know that in the past couple of posts I have not really been focused on my adoption but just how life has been for me in general. First I would like to thank Jane for keeping a secret for a couple of weeks now. Jane you have no idea how much that has meant to me. I would like to also that Dede and Rob for having the courage to change agency when they did because without there change I do not think I would have given it an extra thought. I would like to thank Susan and Randy for being so positive with their change in agencies as well. By reading Susan's posts it made me think of the financial ramifications that I could have had to endure if I decided not to change when I did. I have made the decision to change agencies. This decision was made a number of weeks ago mostly due to the lack of accreditation of CHI at the time of my switch.

First let me say that I feel CHI was and has been very professional with my adoption. I have only been treated fairly and courteously throughout this whole process. I do believe that this agency tries to look out for the best interest of their clients. I am sad to be leaving CHI but I am happy to know that my adoption is moving forward.

This move to Adoption Associates has been in the works for a number of weeks and I wanted to make sure that I was comfortable with the move prior to making this decision public. I hope to be finished with my Dossier sometime in January. I prayed over this switch for many days before I made the final decision. I know that I was guided to this agency for the right reason. I have to say that since the switch my anxiety level has decreased significantly. I am now able to be more at peace with my decision and enjoy the adoption process more.

I would like to congratulate CHI on their recent accreditation and the families that are stilled signed with this agency. I wish you all the best and pray for God's speed in sending referrals to the waiting families. I need to officially break this tie with CHI so that this agency can focus all of their efforts on these waiting families.

Rachel and Troy & Becky and Keith, I can not wait to see that you have gotten the call. I can not wait to read all about your adventures to become a family.

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year! I never thought that I would be as blessed as I am to have friends that understand the things that I am going through with this adoption. To all of the Blogs that I read daily and have not mentioned in this post please know that I am praying for you and children (future children) daily. You all have been a source of strength for me.

God Bless you all.
Joy

More Chnages and a You Tube video: Second Chance Children (My Story of Russian Adoption)

Well,
There is another change in my adoption. The coordinator that I have been working with out of New York is leaving CHI. I just happened to read my emails today. At first when I read it I was a little worried because I was just starting to get use to her. I will miss Susha. She made it very easy for me when I would email her a question. Because I work the night shift I am not always awake during the day (mostly I just agree to what ever is said if the call is before noon).

The next change that I am considering is changing the age range of what child I would like a referral for. Currently, I have the age range down for 18 months or younger. I was considering changing this to 24 months or younger. I know that this does not seem like a big difference to people who are not currently adopting or have not adopted.

I was thinking about making a list of pros and cons to help me make the decision. If I have not touched on a pro or con I would appreciate it if you would post your thoughts about the differences between the two different age groups.

PROS
1. The wait time may be shorter if I extend the age range
2. By using extended family leave little bean will be closer to 36 months which is the minimum age for the Head Start Program in my area.
3. Maybe I will not have to be in Russia during the winter time (Burr)
4. If I had given birth to Little Bean I would have been 34. I know this sounds a little crazy but in MY plan I wanted to have all my children by the time I was 30. Yes I wanted 4 but at 30,000 dollars a piece I do not see that happening unless I win the Mega millions (Oh I forgot that is scheduled for February 2008).

CONS
1. The child will be older and at an increased risk of attachment disorder
2. The child will have spent more time in an orphanage
3. The fee schedule is the same so there is no financial difference
I found this video on you tube that made me start to think that changing the age range would not be the end of the world. I was not able to figure out how to put his into one post so look at the post above/div>

The Paperwork has Changed!

If you are adopting with CHI and are in the middle of preparing your Dossier I am sure that I am not the first one to tell you the paperwork has changed. It seems to me that CHI is trying to what is right for both the Russian Government what is right for the adoptive parents. CHI has reduced the number of papers that are needed to register the Dossier. This does not mean that the other papers do not need to be filled out. It just means that they will be filled out closer to the time of travel.

For those of you reading this blog this may sound a little confusing. So I am going to try to explain it the best way that I can. The Dossier is a large file full of different papers. Some papers state the reason why we want to adopt while others give the adoption agency the right to speak on my behalf. All the papers in the Dossier need to be notarized and apostilled by the state of New Jersey before they can be registered in Russia. These last 2 steps cost money. The documents in the dossier may only be good for 3-6 months so if we do not receive a referral and our documents expire we have to redo them and spend more money to have them notarized and apostilled. The number of documents needed went from 22 to 12.

Because the number of documents needed to register the Dossier has been reduced we will spend less money when we have to redo these documents in upcoming months. People who know me well know that I have to waste money. Each time I save a little more money I think this is time that I can stay home once little Bean is here.

So here is where my paper chase stands right now. I need a copy of the I-171H from the INS, a new birth certificate and the final home study report with all related documents. The other documents are done and waiting to be sent to CHI for review prior to being apostilled. The birth certificate I will get tomorrow and I will call the home study agency to see how far along we have gotten on the final report. So the time has come to hurry up and wait.

Honestly, I am enjoying the wait so far. This wait has given me time to think about the things that I need to do and the things that I want to do before the Little Bean comes home. I know that one of these days I will complain that the wait is too long and I hope that someone reminds me that 'good things come to those who wait.' I pray to be a patient waiter. I think the hardest wait will come between the first and second trip. I hope that I am able to work everyday in between to help take my mind off the wait.

Well, My First Home Study Meeting is DONE!

On September 6, 2007 I completed my first home study interview. I am sure that everyone has a part of the adoption process that worries them the most. Some people worry how will I pay for the adoption and still be able to take off some time once the baby comes. For me this is not a worry. I have spent the last 4 years saving for the adoption. I flipped a house in order to come up with the bulk of the money and have saved enough PTO so that I can take some time off to go to Russia. I will also be able to be off a little bit after the baby is here. I will still have to work but hopefully only part-time or 2 nights per night.

For me the home study interviews were what have racked my nerves. Not because I am not a good person or that I do not have a suitable house. These interviews worried me because the decision of this social worker is a make it or break it point in the adoption. If my home study is not favorable then the adoption is off at least in my mind. I am sure that my family has no idea how important and nerve racking this part of the process is for me.

But God has answered my prayers and was smiling down on me. I followed the guidance of my case worker at CHI about which agency I should use for my home study and I could not be happier. For the people who know me the best they know that of all the things that I love the best it is older beach cottages. I like things that are bright and painted white but on the distressed shabby side too.

So let me recap the day for you. I did not sleep real well the night before and the appointment was for me an early morning appointment 10:45am. I know that does not sound early but I work the night shift and the agency was over an hour away. I did not have directions so I had to call from the road (I hate that because I love Map quest). I tried to get a picture of me before I left and got very upset because I looked like I was going to a funeral and very upset. Gerard and I could not figure out the camera after I thought I knew how to use it so I got upset with him (Sorry). Then I felt like I left late. Great now I am even more nervous.

1. Scared of the interview
2. No picture
3. New camera not working (It really was working)
4. I did not know where I was going
5. Left late
6. Took out my nervousness on Gerard

So to say the least I was not feeling very positive. I know that if anyone who has already adopted or gone through this must know how I felt. Well let me say I prayed the whole way there that I would not get lost and that it was going to be okay. I knew the minute that I pulled up that everything was going to be okay.

The agency was in a beautiful little old pristine white beach house with a beautiful front porch. Immediately I was at ease. I knew this was the right decision, the right agency and that everything was going to be okay. The Social worker was wonderful and very familiar with CHI. I have my next appointment for my home visit on September 17, 2007. I already know that I have plenty time off before she comes to my house. I have to say I feel very relieved. I feel like I can breathe again.

I want to thank everyone who has supported me up until this point. Soon this part of the adoption will be over and I will be on to the next step.

Paperwork, Paperwork and More Paperwork

Some of my family and friends have seen the binder full of paperwork that I have occasionally toted around. Well I have to say after yesterdays addition of paperwork I think I may need an additional binder. The first binder is full of things that I had to get together for the Home Study. This round of paperwork is for the Dossier.

The Dossier is a package of paperwork that asks for some of the most bizarre things like a letter from my real estate agent. Thank goodness she is wonderful. Did I mention that everything needs to be notarized. Each document is only good for one year. So I definitely see myself doing this at least one more time before the adoption is complete. Thank goodness for computers and the ability to save documents. I will write out as much as I can and email the documents to everyone so that it can just be copied and pasted onto their letterhead. There are about 50 different pieces of paper that I need to submit for the Dossier.

After I submit these pieces of paper then Children's Hope International or CHI will look over each document make sure I have done it correctly. After that review then the documents will be translated into Russian and sent to Russia. The government will review these documents and then send me a referral.

I have read everywhere that this is like a paperwork pregnancy. I think that is very true because like many people who are worried about tests or keeping the pregnancy to a viable state I have many of the same worries. If the Home Study does not go well or does not see me in a favorable light that is it no adoption and no baby. I am not sure if everyone knew just how important this paperwork is to me or the adoption process but this step is vital to the survial of the adoption.