First Home Study Interview...and I am Nervous!

I will be having my first home study interview on September 6, 2007 at 10:45am. I feel prepared but I am very nervous. What if they ask a question and I do not answer it correctly. I am sure that this is a normal feeling that all you have had about the process. My family as supportive as they are do not understand the seriousness of the home study.

So I lost it the other day. My mother as good as she is yelled at me to "Just snap out of it. Give me some paper work to fill out and I will just finish what needs to be done."

Well the funny thing about this comment is that I fill out all of her paper work for everything. She made me laugh. It really helped but I am still very nervous. I think I am going to start to do Yoga again to help with my anxiety about the home study and the accreditation and everything else. Somehow I feel better having this blog. It is a way for me to put my feelings out there to people who are experiencing the same feelings and frustrations that I am feeling. I only have a few blogs that I read but I have to say that each blog that I have read and commented on has really helped me to overcome my personal feelings of anxiety. You all do not know how helpful you have been to me. I will say a prayer for all of you who are traveling to complete your families, learning about your forever children, waiting for a referral, waiting for your second trip and dealing with any issues that have surfaced with your children.

I have decided to take time. Time to enjoy all parts of the experience without the hard times there would be no good times. I found a new blog today that I have added to my favorites list. This blog is called WorldWide Adoption Prayers. I have also added the link to this post. I am grateful for blogs like this one.
WorldWide Adoption Prayers
http://wwadoptionprayers.blogspot.com/

Today Was Picture Perfect

Well I did it. I bought a digital camera. I figured that I needed to get better at using this type of camera because it is so important for capturing all the important things that are coming up. I spoke with my Mom today and we talked a little bit about taking pictures that were taken of me as a child. See I am number 5 out of my Mom's 6 daughters. By the time my Mom was done having all of us she could never find a camera. As a result there are very few pictures of me as a child. One of my hobbies is scrapbooking. My nieces and nephews know that they could be caught on film at any point in time. I always had a disposable camera in a draw some where in my house, car or purse.

I ended up buying a Kodak easy share camera. That is the one that I was talked into at the store. I hope I will not be unhappy with this camera.

So t test out my camera I took it with me to the beach today. Unfortunately, I was alone so I was not able to get any pictures of myself but I will share what I did take with you all in this post (As soon as I figure out how to do it). Even though I never tan I do enjoy going to the beach this is one activity that I hope my son or daughter will also love. I can remember staying in the ocean for hours and being burned until I was as red as a lobster. I think I am going to start a list of things I want to do when the baby comes. I seem to have a ton of ideas now but who knows whether or not they will still be there once the baby is here.

I Know I Need Digital Camera

I do not have a Digital Camera. For some reason I really just like to use the disposable cameras. Because Gerard and I will not both be able to go on both trips I think having a digital camera is important to capture the first couple of days I will be with my child.

Plus I would like to add some pictures to my blog and I do not have any saved to the computer. I never thought to get them put onto a CD. I do think a picture is worth a thousand words. In the past I have had a couple of different digital cameras that I never was able to use well. I consider myself a relatively smart person and one that can follow directions but I just have a mental block when it comes to a digital camera.

If anyone has some good suggestions for an ease to use digital camera please let me know. It anyone can surgically remove the block in my head against digital camera also let me know. I wonder if bringing a traditional camera to Russia s also a good idea. I would hate to lose anything that may be cute, funny or important.

Just a Little OCD

Today Gerard just learning about and I went shopping. "What did you buy?" you ask. Well the shopping trip centered around 2 different things for Gerard one was a pair of shoes that do not exist and the other was a pair of shoelaces. I know everyone is Gerard and I so let me tell you a little bit about us.

Gerard has undiagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This does not bother me and actually I think he is very funny mostly because I do not have to take part in any of his compulsions. My personality is one that enjoys pointing things out to him that make him a little crazy. In the end we both laugh and have fun together because of it.

So back to the shopping trip. Have you every had to buy shoelaces? I have not except for today. Who knew that they come in sizes. I did not. The funny thing about this is that the shoes that he need to replace the shoelaces in ended up not being the pair that he replaced. Yes the laces were the correct size but he did not like the way they looked (Mostly after I pointed it out.) Mind you these shoes are the ones that he uses for cutting the grass. I thought he should just get a new pair but apparently these shoes were perfect for cutting grass. I usually use what ever ones are on my feet but that is me. So to make a very long story shorter he ended up with a new pair of shoelaces and moved 2 other pairs of shoelaces to accommodate the new ones.

The funny thing is that I happened to be on this mission for the perfect shoelaces with him and I ended up with 2 new pairs of Clarks, 2 new pairs of shorts and a great new top. Thank god he needed new shoelaces.

I'm not in Seattle anymore

I have e to say I know I live on the east coast but it has felt more like Seattle then the Jersey shore. I can say that because we visited Seattle 2 years ago for the playoff and even though the city was beautiful and the people were very warm. I could not stand all that liquid sunshine. I have been on vacation for the last week and it has done nothing but rained. The result of this is that the grass is growing all day from the time that the sun hits it in the morning to the time that is goes down. I think this is really funny because at our other house just about killed ourselves to get the grass to grow. At this house the grass grows so fast.

Tomorrow is going to be a beautiful day and I plan on spending much of it on the beach. I love going to the beach even though I burn rather easily. I need to get out of the house a little bit on this vacation. I think that because I am in the beginning stages of the adoption process I feel like all I am talking about is the paperwork, traveling to Russia, picking up my baby, worrying about what challenges I will face when I come home and on and on. I think I need to rest my thoughts for a minute and enjoy the process. After all I am pregnant even if it is only on paper.

I wonder if anyone else felt this way during the paperwork and the waiting time. The one surprising thing that happened to me today is that someone who I did not think knew about the adoption asked me about how the adoption is going. I have to say I was shocked and happy all at the same time. I do not know whether anyone else has felt this way. I have to say I love children and I often ask others about what their children are up to. I thought today wow one day that will be me. I am so excited.

Like the grass needs rains children need love. I can not wait to give my child as much love as he or she needs to grow.

Paperwork, Paperwork and More Paperwork

Some of my family and friends have seen the binder full of paperwork that I have occasionally toted around. Well I have to say after yesterdays addition of paperwork I think I may need an additional binder. The first binder is full of things that I had to get together for the Home Study. This round of paperwork is for the Dossier.

The Dossier is a package of paperwork that asks for some of the most bizarre things like a letter from my real estate agent. Thank goodness she is wonderful. Did I mention that everything needs to be notarized. Each document is only good for one year. So I definitely see myself doing this at least one more time before the adoption is complete. Thank goodness for computers and the ability to save documents. I will write out as much as I can and email the documents to everyone so that it can just be copied and pasted onto their letterhead. There are about 50 different pieces of paper that I need to submit for the Dossier.

After I submit these pieces of paper then Children's Hope International or CHI will look over each document make sure I have done it correctly. After that review then the documents will be translated into Russian and sent to Russia. The government will review these documents and then send me a referral.

I have read everywhere that this is like a paperwork pregnancy. I think that is very true because like many people who are worried about tests or keeping the pregnancy to a viable state I have many of the same worries. If the Home Study does not go well or does not see me in a favorable light that is it no adoption and no baby. I am not sure if everyone knew just how important this paperwork is to me or the adoption process but this step is vital to the survial of the adoption.

Let the Paperwork Begin!

As you can see by the time line at the bottom of this blog I have submitted my initial paperwork to the agency that will be doing my home study. Part of this paperwork was a biography about myself and why I wanted to adopt a child. Many of you have not seen this biography because it is so long I was not sure if anyone would be interested in reading it. I know many of my friends have heard me talk about my desire to adopt a child and some of you think I am a little crazy for wanting to change my lifestyle so drastically. I think that if you read a part of my biography you will see I am no different then any of you when you all were thinking about having a child. Just for me I have to go about it a little differently.

"...For me watching a child discover new things daily is exciting. Helping a child to become an individual who wants to learn new things on his or her journey to adulthood is one of the most important things a parent could experience in life. I have not been able to give birth to a child but I have taken many years to ponder the reason I have not been blessed in that way. I have discovered that my destiny was to adopt a child. Giving birth to a child is not the only way a person can become a loving mother..."

Writing my biography took a long time. I needed to do quite a bit of soul searching to figure out what my motivations for adopting a child were. I needed to be able to say with an open heart and mind that I am choosing to adopt because I want to experience the good and bad times that often come with motherhood. For the people for are supporting me in this journey you truly do not understand of much I appreciate your prayers and positive words.

The Home Study has Started!

The Home Study will consist of interviews by a licensed social worker. These interviews will include a determination of my assets and my ability to provide for our child. At least one interview will happen at our home. They will be looking for safety hazards in addition to getting a general sense of how I live. I think this is a stressful time. The Home Study will take about 4-6 months to complete. I have started by putting together a ton of papers that are required. So I figure the Home Study will be completed around January.

The funny thing is that in all the adoption guides that I have read you should make sure your home is not too perfect. Well for anyone who knows Gerard this is going to be hard. If you ask Gerard if the child will put away his or her toys he immeidately answers "Of course, I put all my toys awayv when I was done with them." Then usually I start laughing a lot. This is the side of Gerard I love the best. He always can make me laugh.

He has spent the last 2 years fixing everything that could possibly be sighted in the Home Study. Anyone who saw our home before we changed everything understands what I am talking about. I know that everyone is still robably wondering why we moved from the other house. I am sure that this is part of many discussions. The facts are it was about money. I want to be able to finance this adoption without needing to take a loan. By moving I have accompished that goal. Plus I love my new house. I think I like it better then the other house with one exception no basement. Now we are just fighting with the grass. I keep telling him that he is not allowed to fertilize the grass because he is always using too much. The biggest discussion in our house is when to mow the lawn.

Starting the Journey

It is now official we have chosen an agency and put in the adoption application. For everyone who may not be familiar with International adoptions this is a very long process. An adoption could take as long as 24 months or more. During the next 24 months there are many different forms and interviews that need to be completed before Russia will allow me to adopt a child. From what I can tell there is 3 different parts of the adoption: Home Study, Dossier and Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS).

Picking an agency was very difficult. There are so many agencies that do International adoptions. The first step was to decide what country we were going to adopt from then we needed to pick an agency that could help us in our journey. The country that we decided to adopt from is Russia. The funny thing is that we have started to learn how to speak Russian. Learning to speak Russian is not as hard as it sounds. I have been listening to Russian CDs in the car on my way to work. I am hoping to find a class that will help me learn more of what I need to know. But have no fear I know how to ask Where is Red Square?

The excitement that I am feeling now is unexplainable. The stress of how I will manage all the details leading up to Gotcha Day is overwhelming. My hope is to use this journal to put my thoughts and feelings into words. As I start each portion of the adoption process I will post what the steps are for that portion of the adoption. At the end of the blog I hope to be able to list the things that I have completed so far.

My First Blog & My First Posting

This is my first time blogging. The concept is new to me and probably my family and friends. Gerard and I have decided this was a good way to keep everyone up to date with our adoption. This is an exciting time for both of us with that being said we have been bombarded with many different questions and concerns about the adoption process. I am hoping that this blog will help everyone to understand where we stand. We need the support of our family and friends to make this process an easy and enjoyable one for everyone. We are very excited about the potential of us becoming parents. I hope that everyone that reads this blog understands that Gerard and I are both in agreement with adopting a child. This has been something that both of us have talked about for many years. We want to share this experience with everyone who wants to be a positive influence during this very important time in our lives.