A couple of weeks ago we had to go into the attic for a few things. Anna spotted the Nativity set. Just in case your wondering our attic has a completely finished floor so that I can go up there, store stuff and not feel like I might go through the ceiling. Once Anna saw the cow the next thing out of her mouth was "Jesus" so I dug through the box until I found the baby Jesus. When we explained that it was just not time to bring them down she would not hear of it. Jesus came down with us on that trip and has been actively been tucked into to her bed every night.
Last year we put out the Nativity and for Christmas morning it was covered with 3 feet of snow. I never thought she would remember doing this but she did. (I was going to be clever and make this so you could read about last year only to realize I never posted last years pictures, sigh.) This makes we wonder about what else she remembers. I have very few memories of my very young childhood and certainly none from when I was 2 years old. I guess I just thought she would be the same in my heart even though in my brain I knew she would remember.
Christmas 2009
Christmas 2010
Sorry about the black and white I was fooling with some settings on my camera.
I feel sad at times that she may remember not having me or her first Mother to pick her up and be with her when she was needing complete undivided attention from a parent. I want her to remember being in Moscow running in the gardens and seeing St Basil's cathedral but I do not want her to remember being scared because she was with a stranger who she could not understand and who could not understand her. Today things are different, I know what she is saying or needs about 99% of the time even if others do not. I love this feeling and I am sure she likes it too.
Back to the point of the story, on Black Friday I bought a new tree. Gerard put it together because it is way too heavy for me to lift and I am finding the arm that I broke is becoming increasingly more painful even though that was a year and half ago when I broke it. I am guessing it is nerve pain so I will just grin and bare it.
Secretly, I was dreading taking down the decorations for the tree. The last time they were put away it felt so unorganized. I have too many decorations and feel like I need about 2 or perhaps 3 days to go through them deciding which to keep and which to donate.
I decided this is not the year to go through those decorations and perhaps I will go through them one day this spring when Anna is in school. I was left with the feeling of "Now what am I going to do?" I pulled out the ribbon and strung up the ornaments that we have made and we decorated the tree. I had purchased a bunch of different felt ornament packages over the years that I had not done for various reasons, add in the apple sauce cinnamon and salt dough ornaments and bang we are done. The other thing about those decorations is they seem like they are from a past life or some one else's life, when shopping for decorations was important. My life today is so much different. Anna is the most important person in my life and I want her to be reflected in the decorations for one of the most special holidays that we celebrate.
Made by Anna with some help from me
This year our tree is decorated by 100% handmade ornaments that Anna and I made together along with Hans, Me-Me, La-La and Aunt Julie. I love the way it turned out even though it is much different then I thought it would look year ago when I dreamed of having a child.
Have I told you that I LOVE just how active she is and how she wants to do every thing Gerard and I do. I never have to force or coax her to participate in any homemade project. Anna wants to be near us and do things with us. How could I be so blessed. I never want to take that for granted.
I do have more Christmas projects in the works and I hope to be done with the last sewing project this weekend if my work schedule will allow me to do so. I promise to post something tomorrow.
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