Thursday, January 7, 2010

One down three to go

Tuesday, I completed the first Post Placement Report. For those who may not know Russia requires that every child is visited by a Social worker in the home to evaluate how the child is doing. Is the child thriving? This is best evaluated in the child's home setting where he or she can be themselves.

Christine our Social worker arrived around 11 am usually this is a great time for Anna BUT Anna awoke (like 5:30 am) early so by the time 11 o'clock rolled around she was exhausted. I did manage to get a couple of pictures before she came. To say that I was worried that she would have a major meltdown while Christine was here and that this would reflect negatively but I was so wrong.





While I talked with Christine, Gerard and Anna played in the living room. Christine and I watched as they played with her kitchen and stuffed dog.

Christine and I talked about a lot of what we have experienced since Anna has come home. Some of the things that we talked about were how she was sleeping, eating and attaching to us. Thankfully the sleeping has been going well, even as I write this today nap time has been WONDERFUL! I know I should not say or write this but that is how I feel. We laid down together as I fed her a bottle she gently touched my arm and fell asleep in exactly 5 minutes and is still sleeping now 2 hours later. Sleep at night time is also so much better then I ever thought it could be. Do we still struggle at times...yes but the fight to go to sleep is much less then it was in the first 2 months.

As far as attachment I think that is really coming along too. She looks for me when she is hurt. She plays near me and has started something new. If I am doing something and she wants my attention she bends down and taps the floor with a distinct tone of come sit here. I can not help but to laugh and stop what I am doing and start playing.

Attachment to Gerard has also been successful in my opinion. She not only looks for him but she is easily consoled by him. She loves to give him kisses and hugs. I laugh because if he leaves the room she starts to look for him. The two of them have these little games that they play like cheek to cheek, he says cheek to cheek and she presses her cheek to his. They also play a little game were they zoom in real close nose to nose. I interesting thing is when they do this she maintains constant eye contact. I will tell you that I shamefully did take a picture of her when as she cried for Gerard when he was in the bathroom. I think she thinks he is secretly taking a bath and playing with toys without her.



Which brings me to the saying two out of three ain't bad. Eating! UGH! Anna still struggles to eat enough calories in a day. When you think about 1000 calories a day that seems like it is so little but when you are a child who is struggling to eat them and a Mother who is painfully watching and praying that it will happen it is hard not to focus on this. I know that the eating will come with time. I have been trying my best to not obsess over it. I know that in the past I have told you all that I am a numbers girl and I am. So here are the numbers, when Anna came home she:

September 3, 2009: weighted 21.4 lbs, height 32.25 inches and head circumference was 46 cms. Less then 3rd percentile, 10th percentile for height, Less then 3rd percentile for her head.

January 3, 2010: weight 21.8 lbs, height 35 inches and head circumference was 46 cms. Less then 3rd percentile for weight, 25th percentile for height and Less then 3rd percentile for her head.

To my surprise after Thanksgiving her eating seemed to pick up so I had become less worried. She has a list of things that she eats now and frankly some may be surprising: turkey, laughing cow soft cheese in the little triangles, keifer, salami, Italian suppresotta, chicken nuggets, hot dogs,Italian bread with lots of butter. Nothing hot everything must be cold. She has been eating less fruit, pudding and apple sauce. Nothing is off limits as far as eating. When food id present at time it has been a challenge for me because others feel the need to correct her behavior or dictate what foods she should be eating. I will say I have been politely trying to talk with those who have been doing this but I feel that a sit down out of Anna's ear shot is needed.

Here is where I will get honest, Christmas was a problem some family members insisted that we travel for the holiday in the name of making it easy for us. There was a blow out it is these same family members who I must sit down with and explain to them that their behavior will have to change. This was hard to write and will be even harder to say, off on a tangent I know.

The numbers are objective where I may not be so objective. I am developing a plan of action. Yes I plan on having her evaluated by a speech therapist and a feeding specialist. So there you have it in all the visit was a success for many reasons.

8 comments:

Melissa said...

It sounds like things are going well overall. Nice work! It might be a good idea to see a feeding specialist but I have learned that the eating will come and go. Colby now eats many things he wouldn't. His eating habits change all the time. Thankfully he has always been a good eater though. Stock up on soft foods. Colby wasn't a meat eater. Also from experience, the food we fed Colby wasn't ever really hot, even the soup. So I wouldn't worry about that much. Anna looks great. I love the picture of you two. What a little doll!
Melissa

Anonymous said...

Joy,

When my son first came home, he would eat anything. He would probably eat as much as a grown up. Now over 2 years later, I struggle with his diet. He just doesn't seem to eat much unless it is a snack. Your girl and my boy seem to be opposite on the height/weight scale. My son is under the 5th percentile for height, but well above the 50th for weight. Last time he had a check up, they calculated his BMI and he was at the top. If only my son could give your daughter some weight and she could give him some height.

You are doing a great job with attachment. And as far as the speech evaluation goes, we had really good look eventually with that. Our state had a program called Early On. Your state has a similar program. By getting in touch with Early On, we got speech therapy, access to a playgroup for children with developmental delays and now preschool. My son has come a long with with speech. He has not caught up, but he will. Once Anna gets going with her speech, she will take off I'm sure.

Happy New Year!

Katie

Anonymous said...

i feel your struggle with anna's eating. nick has only gained 3 pounds in a year. i think that is just from his height too not because he actually ate enough to gain weight. i finally have just quit worrying and just encourage him to eat but don't stress myself out about it. maybe one day he will catch up. we worked with speech path and a dietitian too. still only 3 pounds gained. so....long and short of it hang in there and try not to stress. she looks healthy and appropriate. :) glad the homestudy went well.

Mandy @ The Party of 3 said...

:) Sounds like things are going good for you and the fam!! Anna will come around with the eating. Mist is struggling with gaining weight now she was hospitalized with C.Diff last Feb. and we are just having issues putting weight on her since then!! The pictures are great and the one with her crying at the door is soo cute! She misses him!:( Thats a great step in bonding!!

ana said...

Congratulations on getting the 1st PPR done!

Feeding can be challenging. Eli is 2 1/2 now, and he still wants me to feed him a lot of the time, like a baby. He'll feed himself for the 1st half of the meal, and then he wants me to feed him the 2nd half. And of course, I do. It has helped with bonding and attachment. And if I don't, he won't finish eating. Some of my family members don't agree, but he needs what he needs. I don't think I'll be feeding him when he's in high school! LOL I'm sure that no one gave him enough time and attention when he was fed as a baby, and I'm glad I can give him the chance to have that now. Anyway, like I said, feeding can be a challenge. A feeding specialist sounds like a great idea.

She is so adorable in those pictures!

sunset pines farm said...

I know you are probably tired of hearing stories of others, but I wanted to try and calm your fears. One of my friends adopted(domestically) a newborn (at the point of delivery)and brought him home immediately after, where he was showered with the best of everything money can and can't buy. To their utter surprise he was almost 3 yrs old and had not yet uttered a word. Not a word, not a grunt, not a sound. They went through the best specialists here in the area and around with no results. Last fall she decided on a hunch to start him in a daycare program. It was a turning point, and he is absolutely doing fabulous with his talking now.
Just another story.

Scott said...

Hi Joy,

Glad to hear the visit with the social worker went well. That is a great picture of you and Anna that you posted.

Thanks for being so honest in your posts. I expect we will have issues too with some of our relatives, we are already getting all sorts of advice and some of it is very contrary to attachment theory we have read in all of our books.

We have been getting them ready for some time now telling them we will want family time with just me and Shelly for a while after we get home. Some are not too happy about that but they are going to quickly find out these children come first.

I really do enjoy reading your blog. Keep up the good work. It looks like Anna is coming along great.

Scott

Penny said...

Hi Joy

Sounds like things are going so well! Try not to stress too much about the food issues. My now 9 year old had severe food intolerance. At 14 months he eat literally nothing except milk. He didn't gain well and worried us all.
We did find that he liked to drink Pediasure (warm from the cupboard) it helped with extra calories. He liked that he could pick it out himself too.
I will also tell you that at 9 he is an excellent eater and will try most any food. We are so proud of him and how far he has come.

I hope it helps, Anna is just too cute! Hang in there with the family..... I pray they will finally understand, you do what is best for your own family unit....I'm sure that is what they would do if it were them too.