I Got the I-171! I Think?

Today started out as a regular day. I was sitting in my office watching out the window waiting to pounce on the mailbox once the mailman was in sight. Yes a pretty normal day for me now. I remember a time that I did not check the mail for a week at a time. Now if I do not get mail I precede to check it all afternoon.
So as I am spying on the mailman as he gathers the mail to put into my box I see a large yellow envelope.

Now I am scrambling for my slippers. What is this piece of mail? I hope he does not bend it to fit it in the mailbox! Okay now I am thinking I am just crazy but wait I have a psychological study that says I am normal.

I run out to the mailbox and flip through the mail until I see who the sender is. I hope this is not a piece junk mail which I have just started to hate. The sender is the DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY. Now I am running into the house. The dog is going nuts because she thinks either I am playing or there is something wrong.

I open the large package and out comes the letter that states:

NOTICE OF FAVORABLE DETERMINATION CONCERNING APPLICATON FOR ADVANCE PROCESSING OF ORPHAN PETITION

I am very excited. I just can not believe that I have the forms in my hand. Then I read it over again. This is the confusing part no where on the letter does it state that this is an I-171 approval letter. I just thought that the letter would say this in big print somewhere. So now my question is this the I-171 or just letter stating that I will be getting the I-171.

I know that my coordinator is not available until tomorrow but she said that I can email her if I need something. Now I know that this is the minor stuff. I just feel like I am so okay with this part of the wait but I will just be off the hook once I know that I am really waiting once my Dossier is translated and in Russia or between trips.

I have read about many others who are waiting with there Dossiers already in Russia for many months. My heart just goes out to them. I think just hearing the phone ring will make me jump. Lately I have read about so my receiving their referrals and traveling either for the first or second time that makes me thank God that this is even possible for me to do. God has provided me with the patience, the desire and the money to complete my dream of being a Mommy. Today is truly a wonderful day!

My First Apostilled Document

Today I received my very first apostilled document. What a wonderful feeling knowing that I am well on way to getting through the paperwork. I had stressed so much over having the Psychological evaluation completed and now not only is it done but I can hold the proof in my hands. I have waited so long to be able to post one of these pictures.



When I look at other blogs I have noticed that wow I really have gotten nothing done for the baby's room. Yes I have a plan in my mind but I have not really taken any action to put that plan together. We do not have a crib or one picked out. I do not have a dresser or one picked out. I have not registered anywhere. I have picked out the bedding that I want to buy. I have looked around and I keep going back to the one that I picked.

So after listening to all my complaints about all the things that need to be done Gerard took matters into his own hands. He insisted that I pick things out for the office slash bedroom for my Mom. After that room is done then I will be able to get started on the Baby’s room. See Gerard is one of those people that will work on only one thing at a time. Gerard spent time this weekend in the attic putting down plywood and moving things up that I just can not part with yet. The running joke between us is go find a nice friend one with a strong back.

See we are in a weird position compared to other couples because we both work nights. I work 3-12 hour shifts 7 PM to 7:30 AM and he works 12 AM to 8 AM. We need to find child care but for the overnights. Regular child care is out because they just will not stay open all night. I bet that would be a great business.

So anyway my Mother is planning on staying overnight when we are not home. The funny thing is this will not be a temporary thing so we need to find a small semi-private place for my mother to stay while she is here. That place is my current office and sewing room.

We decided that we will put a daybed in the office and get rid of another piece of furniture. We bought two new nightstands one for office equipment and one for next to the daybed for my Mom to use. My friends have all told me that once the little guy gets sewing will be out for a while. I guess they are all right about that I hope I will be able to start again one day.



Oh before I forget, we got a great deal on an ottoman for the living room that opens up for storage. I figured this would be great as a toy chest for the little guy. This ottoman was just $32.00 at Bed, Bath and Beyond.





I am just waiting for my home study to be adjusted because we switched agencies and the I-171 approval letter. The home study should be finished hopefully by next week. Then we are done and it is off to Trenton to get the whole thing apostilled.

I'm Checking Things Off the List

Well the Psychological Evaluation is done!

I think I had some underlying fear about this part of the Dossier. I can not believe how easy the evaluation was. I took Valerie's advice and tried Dr. Linda Busch for the evaluation. She told me that she will have the documents to me and apostilled by the end of next week. Wow that is great service. She was wonderful because she was able to bring her experience as an adoptive mother to the conversation. She was the type of person that you could talk to for hours and still find the conversation rewarding.

She had some great views on attachment and just generally getting used to becoming a family. There was nothing that was weird or out-there about her thoughts. If I lived closer to her I would consider using her as a regular therapist.

I spoke with Lisa my adoption coordinator yesterday. She reviewed my paperwork for the initial part of the Dossier and said it looks good no real changes needed. So that is moving right along. I feel like I am really back in the swing of things. I did not realize that I was having so much anxiety about all the changes. I feel much more focused now. I really was in a funk the past couple of weeks and did not realize it.

I think I was still shocked that this adoption is going so well (knock on wood). I have not had any real set backs. I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop a little bit. I guess I will just enjoy the moment.

Lisa my adoption coordinator said that if I get everything in to her for the end of February then I should maybe hear about a referral around the end of April. I think some of my anxiety was because when I started this journey I was fully prepared for travel in the end of 2008. The thought that this could happen sooner is both wonderful and frightening.

Non-Adoption news my new class started today. I have 4 more after this one. I can not wait for this to be done. The classes are only five weeks so they get pretty intense. By about the third week I am ready for it to be done. There is very little room for error in these classes to meet the participation that is required. I am so glad that I am doing this before the little one comes. Off to work now.

I'm Not Crazy After All!

Well,
Today was a very productive day for me. At Valerie's suggestion I looked into using Dr. Busch for my Psychological evaluation. I called her this morning when I got up and left a message that probably sounded crazy rambling on about my situation. Wow was I surprised when she called me back. I think this may be easier then I first thought. She emailed me a couple of forms to fill out. I can pay her using PayPal. She is willing to do the evaluation over the telephone. The best part however is that she is going to handle having all the documents notarized, certified and apostilled. She is even going to send them directly to the agency if I like.

I also spent quite a bit of the day completing my adoption education on line. I have to say that it was quite enlightening and a little scary. I think that it is normal to feel a little scared about attachment issues. I have been going on the premise that if I am aware that there may be issues with attachment that I will be able to see the warning signs and be able to intervene if a problem arises.

The other thing that I really never thought about was how the child may experience the feelings of loss. I have a number of friends who have adopted and we have talked about some of the issues that they have encountered. The loss of having a birthparent available to the child has not come up. This brings me to a difficult fork in the road. I decided to pursue international adoption specifically because there would be no confusion as to who the mother or father are for this child but now I am rethinking whether or not my decision to exclude a birthparent or extended family presents me with a new set of problems.

I have read some on the FRUA website about families who have hired an investigator to find the birth parents or family members. Off the top of my head I can not quote any particular investigator but it has got me thinking. I wonder if it is feasible for us to have some type of relationship with the birth family. In my mind I have always thought I would travel back to Russia when the time is right so that my child will at least be able to see where he or she was born and spent the first couple of years of his or her life but now I am thinking that this may not be enough. I know this is a lot to think about. I think I am just getting a little nervous because everything seems to be going so fast.

Non-Adoption News

Okay now for some non-adoption news with the New Year brings another set of stresses. I have not mentioned this in my blog as of yet because it has not come to mind but I am currently in school for my BSN. I go to school online at the University of Phoenix. The classes are only 5 weeks long for 3 college credits. I knew that I wanted to finish my education before the baby came so maybe that is the reason why I took a break. My job pays for about 6000 dollars of education every year so I only take enough credits until these funds are exhausted. I started in 2004 and hope to be finished in June 2008. I can not tell you how excited I am about being close to done with this degree.

Gerard is a good sport about it. I think it is hard for him to understand why I want to finish this since I will only get a minimal raise. I never want to do anything but acute care nursing as a staff nurse. My thoughts are is that once the baby comes it will be 20 years before I could do something like this for myself and maybe I will want to do something different in 10 years who knows.

What Gerard does not know is that I am going to plan on finishing my Masters in Nursing Education too. I will tell him that next year when he needs to know. Education is never a waste.
I have to say that I am a little worried about how I am going to help my child pay for college. I know that I will have to start to save right away. I think once I am finished with the whole adoption process and transition that will be the first thing that I will investigate. Gerard and I feel that it is important to help a child with an education but that he or she also needs to be invested in paying for their education. This is a lot to think about.

I Must Be Crazy!

I do not know if anyone else has had this problem but I am suck. I have been trying to find a Psychologist to do my evaluation and I am completely unsuccessful. Most of the Psychologist in my area wants you to come to see them as a long term patient. So I guess I must just be crazy or unable to cope or I do not know.

If anyone has any suggestions as to where to look for a Psychologist or a web site where I can find one please let me know. I know that this is an important step because parenting a child is full of surprises that if you are not prepared for can cause a ton of stress. I know that the psychologist must be thinking about his or her malpractice insurance and all the 'what ifs' that could arise but really they are not making this easy.

I got all the other paperwork notarized yesterday. If feels good to have it safely tucked away in a clear plastic sleeve. I am not sure how I will feel letting it go on its trip to Moscow all alone. I guess I just have to put on my big girl underwear and deal with it.

Just Finishing Up Paperwork

I know it has been a long time since I posted or at least it feels like a long time to me. I have been so busy with my sister and helping her with her new baby, breastfeeding and my other nephew Aristotle. I just got home last night. The baby and Mom are doing fine. My Brother-In-Law is very smart to just do what ever she says. Aristotle is doing very well too but I think he has figured it out that he is not the little King anymore. That is making my sister feel a little sad but they are all working through it. Aristotle just loves to be with his brother and that is so cute.

Okay now for adoption news. My coordinator has emailed me about some things that I need to send to her so that she can review them before I take them to be apostilled. I am so glad that they do this because I would hate to get their and find out that something was done wrong. So my plan for today is to finish this all up have everything notarized and scanned to her by the end of the week.

I am still waiting for my I-171 but I am not nearly as nervous as I was before. I figured that with the holidays it would not arrive much before February. I just realized that I took some time off from the adoption paperwork and did not realize it over the holidays. My stress level about it is much less then it was before. I am working on the fact that I think God has a much better plan for me then I could ever have dreamed up.

I have to say that after Christmas I did do a little shopping. I know that it is a little premature to buy a bunch of things for the baby but I did. I got the most adorable outfit for the Christmas season in a 3T. I also got three sweaters for next winter for 'The Boys' (Aristotle, Sloan and our baby). I want to get a picture of the three of them all dressed alike. The sweaters have are red (Aristotle's favorite color) and have a bi moose on them. I got a great deal on them because they were all 60% off at Kohls.


Christmas Outfit


Sweater Detail

Sweaters for the Boys

Sweater Detail

I am just assuming that I will be referred a boy and that makes my friend Geralyn laugh and tease Gerard about 'Our Daughter'. The thing is Geralyn is usually right. She has been so wonderful to me throughout this adoption process. Words can not express how she has helped and supported me throughout all the challenges that we have faced. She is a great person and a very dear friend. I do have a plan if I get a referral for a girl. I will just donate these cloths to either the orphanage or the Christmas giving program at my church so there is no problem.

A Baby is Born!

On January 2, 2008 a baby was born. I am now the proud Aunt to 4 Nieces and 4 Nephews. I could not be happier. My newest Nephew was born on Wednesday. I was so excited to be able to be at the hospital when he was born. It looks like my baby will be the tie breaker.

My sister called and needed me to pick up her oldest son Aristotle and get him to the hospital without telling him why we were going. This was the hard part because only my Sister or Brother-In-Law are the only ones who pick him up. So I told him we were going to the hospital so that he could meet my friends. After a trip to Wa-Wa where he picked out a bunch of things like Mac and Cheese and 1 Dove bar (Aristotle's favorite chocolate bar). As My Mother, Aristotle and I were driving to the hospital He tells my Mother "Nanny I hope you will be with me at the hospital when my Brother is born." Well my Mother and I just looked at each other giggling inside.

We got there just in time for Aristotle to see the baby coming out of the operating room. He was shocked to see his father there and to find out that his Brother was born. I was able to capture Aristotle's reaction on video and with my camera. I would love to post these pictures but I can not do this without my Sister's permission.

The one controversy in my family is what will Jackie and Rick name the baby? They have been closed mouthed about this because of the amount of heat that they got with Aristotle's name. I told them I do not have to love the name just the baby. So here it is the baby's name is Sloan Falcon. I am trying to get used to this name. So I keep practicing saying it out loud.

Sorry about the title but I am still finishing the Dossier. I just could not wait to use that sentence.