Grandmother's Can Find Anything!

This past weekend my sister had a wedding to go to in upstate New York. She opted to not take my nephews so unfortunately or fortunately she had to go it alone. My BIL stayed home with the oldest because he had many 5 year old social engagements that he was required to appear at. Okay how funny is this that he s 5 and his schedule is more busy then mine. He was in his glory because he had his Dad all to himself. Meals included his favorite chicken on the bone and the entertainment include a Philadelphia Phillies game.

My mother ended up watching the baby, Sloan. He was so funny and completely fussed over all weekend. Sloan would not sleep without a shirt that my sister left by accident at my Mother's house. This shirt was one that my sister had worn over during the drive to drop him off. We would wrap him snug as a bug in this shirt and off to sleep he would go. I thought this was a very interesting connection between adoptive and biological parenting. Sloan hangs on my sister like a little baby monkey does. My sister is so funny because I think the little monkey boy has never actually cried. Had my Mother not found that shirt that my sister left behind the baby monkey would not have been very happy.

Now truly the inspiration for this post was my Aunt Cassie. This afternoon I ended up at my Aunt's house and her grandson Ricky (age 6) was spending the night. So what is the first thing that a 6 year old boy wants to do?? Did you guess make a fort? Well you were right!

So Ricky comes into the kitchen and asks
'Do you have a stick that I can use for my fort?' My aunt pulls out a big stick. The conversation continues then in comes Ricky again 'Do you have another stick?' My aunt pulls out another stick.

Now these sticks are not just a little 12 inch sticks they are 3 to 4 feet long. I am chucking and thinking who has two 3-4 foot sticks in there house and with that thought in comes Ricky and he asks 'Do you have a bigger stick more like a post?' Darned if she did not pull one out.

Okay now I am openly laughing but what took the cake was then he comes in and asks for something other then a stick this time. Can you guess?

'Do you have a mask for me?' I have to tell you I did have to pack up and leave because yes she was able pull out not one but two different masks. So that is the reason why I think Great grandmothers can find anything.

9 Months Pregnant: At least on Paper!

According to the ticker I am due any day. I just can not believe that I have been actively working on my adoption for the last 9 months. I have not gained a pound either. I have been thinking about this post for the last week. In the spirit of good blogging I have been thinking about this post for a couple of days. I warn you now this post is super long. I have decided to list 9 positive things that have happened in the past 9 months.

1. I started the process! I know that this may seem like a repeat of my introduction but I have to say that just starting the ball rolling is a difficult battle at least for me it was. I can honestly say that I considered adoption for many, many years before I actually started the process. But some times the fear of the unknown is difficult to overcome.


2. I have found the money to complete the adoption. That is a victory in its self. After all the payments are made I will have a significant decrease in my comfort cushion but I hope and pray actually I know that this will all be worth it once I am home with the little one.


3. I have to say one of the things that I thought I would miss about not being pregnant was the story that went along with giving birth. I think this is an occupational hazard. Where would I be when my water broke? Would Gerard be able to get me to the hospital in time? How would I feel when I got to hold my little baby in my arms for the first time? I can honestly say these thoughts no longer cross my mind. Instead the thoughts that are playing in my mind are even better. I am getting excited about when will I get the call? Will Gerard be home? Will I be able to wait until he gets home to tell him the news? Am I going to tell my family and friends right away or will I wait?


4. My camera skills are improving. Okay I am no Adrienne or Melissa yet but I am trying. I have learned how to down load the pictures into my computer and edit them a bit. One thing that I would love to learn to do before I go is to learn how to do those movies with the music? I love them. I think those movies are a great keepsake. So hopefully before I get the call I will learn how to make one. Even if my first attempt is not great I will take it and run with it.


5. I have gotten better at putting my thoughts down of virtual paper. Sometimes I think I am not staying the true course of what I intended this blog to be (to document my adoption journey). I know not all my posts are about the adoption progress but I have come to realize that most of the things that I have blogged about in the past 9 months have shaped me into the person I am. I think that knowing your inner self before you have to transform into a Mother is probably a good thing. I will be able to teach my little one that life is a journey to be treasured.


6. I am almost done with my BSN. Wow I thought that I was never going to be able to say such a thing. I started back to school in 2004 for my BSN because I was bored. I had a teacher once that told me that people who are bored are boring people. That has always stuck with me. Now the BSN will not really change life much in my current job but if I decide to become a school nurse I must have this degree in order to complete this certification for the state of New Jersey. I just think that being a school nurse will be what is best for my child once he or she is in school. The hours are great and the pay stinks but then I will be able to be home with my child during the summer, off on the weekends, be there for homework and off for all the major holidays. Plus I will not have to be on call and drop the little one off if the unit is busy.


7. I am shopping with a purpose. I know anyone who has been reading this blog has noticed that I am spending plenty of time on the clearance racks in Kohls and many other stores. My little one is fast approaching the need for a second closet because of all the deals that I have found but what can I say I just can not pass them up.


8. I have figured out the who’s, what’s and where’s of child care for when I work. I am thankful that my Mother lives so close and will be able to stay the night when I have to work. Gerard and I have been very busy fixing the office to make this area comfortable for her for when she stays over. My Mother has many grandchildren but because of her past jobs and that fact that she was still raising her own children when some of them were born she never really got to step in and be the Nanny that she wanted to be. Plus I know have plenty of PTO (Paid Time Off) for me to travel, take off the first month that we are home and then one day a pay period for the next year. I will only need to be out of the house 9-10 times per month and still be paid my full time salary. What a relief!!


9. I have gained the support of most of my family and all my friends with respect to adopting a child. At times I have questioned why some people have not been as elated as I am over this miracle but I have finally come to terms with the fact that not everyone will be happy with my decision to adopt. I believe that as long as Gerard and I are elated then that is really all that matters. Gerard and I have talked about how we will handle negative people and their comments that may arise surrounding our child and for once we agree on every bit of it. We will stand together strong as parents’ should.

The most important thing that I have discovered is my blogger friends. If someone would have told me that I would be blogging 9 months ago and enjoying it, I would have been crazy with laughter. I think I drove my friends at work crazy with the word blog for at least a month. I have found a group of people none of whom I have met in person who I will always share this special bond. We are parents in waiting and some who have completed their families and I would have never made it this far with out the support, guidance and kind words that I have received from many of you. God Bless you all. I pray for your families daily.

This post is way to long. Sorry.

My First Apostilled Document

Today I received my very first apostilled document. What a wonderful feeling knowing that I am well on way to getting through the paperwork. I had stressed so much over having the Psychological evaluation completed and now not only is it done but I can hold the proof in my hands. I have waited so long to be able to post one of these pictures.



When I look at other blogs I have noticed that wow I really have gotten nothing done for the baby's room. Yes I have a plan in my mind but I have not really taken any action to put that plan together. We do not have a crib or one picked out. I do not have a dresser or one picked out. I have not registered anywhere. I have picked out the bedding that I want to buy. I have looked around and I keep going back to the one that I picked.

So after listening to all my complaints about all the things that need to be done Gerard took matters into his own hands. He insisted that I pick things out for the office slash bedroom for my Mom. After that room is done then I will be able to get started on the Baby’s room. See Gerard is one of those people that will work on only one thing at a time. Gerard spent time this weekend in the attic putting down plywood and moving things up that I just can not part with yet. The running joke between us is go find a nice friend one with a strong back.

See we are in a weird position compared to other couples because we both work nights. I work 3-12 hour shifts 7 PM to 7:30 AM and he works 12 AM to 8 AM. We need to find child care but for the overnights. Regular child care is out because they just will not stay open all night. I bet that would be a great business.

So anyway my Mother is planning on staying overnight when we are not home. The funny thing is this will not be a temporary thing so we need to find a small semi-private place for my mother to stay while she is here. That place is my current office and sewing room.

We decided that we will put a daybed in the office and get rid of another piece of furniture. We bought two new nightstands one for office equipment and one for next to the daybed for my Mom to use. My friends have all told me that once the little guy gets sewing will be out for a while. I guess they are all right about that I hope I will be able to start again one day.



Oh before I forget, we got a great deal on an ottoman for the living room that opens up for storage. I figured this would be great as a toy chest for the little guy. This ottoman was just $32.00 at Bed, Bath and Beyond.





I am just waiting for my home study to be adjusted because we switched agencies and the I-171 approval letter. The home study should be finished hopefully by next week. Then we are done and it is off to Trenton to get the whole thing apostilled.

An Example of a Great Mom

Well,
I sorry that I have not posted in a couple of days that was not my intension. I intended for this heading to be about my mother but I am sure that she will understand. There are so many great moms out there and I wanted to share this with you. We have had a death in the family and I offered to help during the last couple of days. My services were not needed because God called her home first. This woman was one of the strongest people I have ever met. I did not know her well. She was my Sister-in-Law's (Ann-Marie) Mother-in-Law (J). I will only give you a couple of small facts about what little I knew of her. I will not be mentioning certain people by name because I have not asked there permission.

J was a woman that knew what was important. She strongly encouraged her children to stay together as a family. See J was a single mother not by her choice. Her husband died many years ago. I never knew him personally but only through stories that her sons B (Her oldest son) & Eddie (My brother-in-Law) told me about him. I know in my heart that I would have loved to have just met him once.

Education was important to J. This was one of J's things that she tried her best to instill into her 4 boys. She did everything to ensure that her boys got not a good education but a great education. She managed to put all her boy through private school by making personal scarifies. She stood by her boys even if they were wrong (That is not to say that they did not hear about what they needed to change). Eddie told me about how when he was considering quitting school. She started back to school after many years in an effort to be the best example that she could be to him. Wow that must have been very hard for her to do.

The other thing that was very important to J was her religion. From what Eddie has told me she was the type of person who welcomed everyone into her home. Advice was given if it was needed. Her faith was something I guess helped to guide her through times of sorrow and times of joy. She believed in God and from what I understand tried to live a good life.

J will be missed by her boys greatly. Things are emotionally hard for this family right now but I know that with prayer and time the pain will ease. Please include her and her boys in a small prayer tonight they need it.


This not only Gerard's Childhood Church but J's church as well.
Saint Thomas Aquinas, Brooklyn, New York

I Have a Love Affair With Ebay

I was on EBay and some of my favorite things to shop for are things for little bean's room. Please keep in mind that I love everything old and well worn. One of my friend's (Craig's wife) was absolutely hysterical when I showed her one of the prints that I plan to put into little bean's room. Now stay with me a moment. I want the room to reflect the cottage feel that the rest of my house has but I also want to put only the most special things into this space (Like Little Bean).

My father was in construction. Unfortunately, he has passed on many years ago. Even though he loved me and my sisters very much I am sure that he would have enjoyed having a boy around to do the boy thing with. Because we have not made a preference as to what gender we want CHI has pretty much told me that we will get a boy. I want my father to have a small place of honor in my little bean's room.

I also plan on honoring Russia and Gerard's heritage as well. Gerard is from Brooklyn. The running joke between us is that his favorite team remains to be the Brooklyn Dodgers. For those of you who do not follow baseball this team has not existed for many years. But that does not stop me. I got him this picture for his birthday one year. It was very funny at the time. He keeps trying to explain to me that this team no longer exists but I tell him "You’re wrong!" This is a phrase that I use when ever he gets up tight. I state a fact that is not actually a fact but completely made up. Then I insist that he is wrong. It usually makes him just laugh.

Brooklyn Dodgers (Gerard's Favorite Baseball Team)

So in comes EBay. I thought it would be nice to have a map of Russia or the world in Little Bean's room. I started to look on EBay and found two beautiful maps and an old map/print of a bunch of famous buildings from around the world. I think because of my father I enjoy seeing how things are made and enjoy the beauty of old buildings. I was instantly drawn to this print the most. The funniest thing was Craig's Wife's reaction. After she saw it she walked around for about 3 hours and said "Oh No! You do not have to have Winnie the Pooh but I am putting my foot down NO!" Thinking about her reaction has just made me laugh harder each time.


See Craig's wife knows how I feel; she went through hell and back to have her children and they mean the world to her. She has been an inspiration, a sounding board, the voice of reason and a good friend through all of this. I think that I will have to put the picture up anyway but every time I see it I will think about my father and the fact that he is not here to share this special time in my life (That is the sad part). I will also think about Craig's Wife and how she makes me laugh even when I am sad (That is the happy part). So here are my new acquisitions from EBay and I love them. All three are over 100 years old.
Quirky yes but priceless.


Map of Denmark (This is where my Father was born)

Map of Russia (Where Little Bean was born)