I guess...

I am not the only one who is missing having Gerard around full time. Anna just told me "He is my Daddy and we are busy. No talking to him." So now they are playing Prince Philip and Sleeping Beauty in her bedroom. I just overheard Gerard telling her that there is a nice way to tell Momma that you need to play with me. I am so glad that he address it so I did not have too.

Yesterday, we completed Anna's history and physical needed for her dental work that she is having on Tuesday. Something very interesting happened when we were in the waiting room at the pediatrician's office. A woman came in with her 8 month old baby. Anna loves babies and her first instinct is to run over to them to touch them. This (I am sure) is every parent's nightmare so I talked to Anna and told her she was allowed to smile and look at the baby but no touching. The baby responded to Anna smiling at her. The mother asked Anna "What is your name?" with that Anna replied. What happened next was interesting. Anna told the mother "I was a baby too, when I was in Russia!"

Wow is all I could think. This is the very first time Anna has talked with a stranger or anyone about being a baby or Russia. I talk about Russia frequently to Anna but she never responds to me. I want it to feel normal for her to talk about Russia. In the past when I have tried talking to Anna about her birth parents, Anna would get angry and say "NO! One Momma, one Daddy!" When she would do this it made me sad. Sad for her birth parents, who I do believe love her but more sad for Anna. I want her to know that not only is it okay to talk about Russia but it is okay to have feeling about her time in Russia, and her birth family.

Anna has a memory that I think is amazing. No I am not just saying this because she is my daughter but because I have seen her put a puzzle together once then undo and redo the puzzle without needing to make any corrections. I do believe that Anna has memories from Russia. I do believe that she remembers me leaving her at the orphanage after my court trip and possibly she may have some memories of my first trip to see her.

I believe that Anna has adjusted very well over the past 2 1/2 years. I thank God everyday that she has adjusted so well. So many children have a difficult time attaching and bonding to their new families. I guess I just wanted to say that bonding and attachment can happen. We have worked hard at it and faced much criticism but it has so been worth every step.

I also went to the doctor's yesterday for my finger and not only did I have a fever, but I have been put out of work until March 3rd. If my finger is healed by than I am able to return if not than I will be out longer. Based on how I feel today I am not hopeful that I will be able to return on March 3rd. I have been started on antibiotics and twice a day dressing changes.

Anna was with me yesterday while I got my dressing changed for the first time. She held my hand and sang me her ABCs. She was very brave and I think actually wanted to look at my finger. She told the doctor that I had a hurting boo boo! He laughed.