More Paper Work!

I feel like I am always in the middle of a ton of paper work. I guess everyone is but for some reason paper work if it is not completely organized makes me crazy. Back in September of 2009 when Anna was first home I was in the middle of organizing the tons of paper work that I received connected with her adoption. When I looked over this paper work I noticed an error in the English translation of her Adoption Certificate. I also needed to have the English translation of her medical information because one night she turned blue on me. She was seen the very next day by a Pediatric Cardiologist who did a complete examination of her and determined that she had held her breath for me. Thank goodness this never happened again. I remember how my own heart quickened when I saw her little face turn blue. I thought I was stressed I guess she had more to complain about then me.

Last week I had decided that I would start the re-adoption/co-adoption process for the state of New Jersey. I got a quick education about what was needed for this to proceed. The state of New Jersey does not require parents who adopt internationally to re-adopt the child in the state of New Jersey. The court decision of other countries is recognized by the state of New Jersey. What does this mean? Basically the state of New Jersey recognizes me as Anna's Mother in every sense of the word Mother. If I were to come to an untimely death Anna would have complete rights to my estate. As it stands now Anna does not have any rights to Gerard's estate as an heir because he is not her legal Father. Anna is mentioned in his will as I am as well.

As always my first call was to my home study agency A Loving Choice Adoption Associates. It was wonderful to talk with Cathy at the agency. I actually miss talking with her and have decided that I will pay a visit to her in the office very soon with Anna. I gave her a quick update about our lives and what things have been happening here.

Even though I do not need to re-adopt Anna having her adoption recognized by the State of New Jersey is a good thing. The biggest reason is I will be able to get a copy of her birth certificate any time I want. If I wanted 16 copies I could have them for a small fee. If I do not complete this paper work then I will only ever have the one copy I was given when I picked up Anna in Russia. This is just not practical. In New Jersey I have 2 options:

First option is to have Anna's adoption recognized by the state of New Jersey. There are some pro's and con's if I decide to take this route. The good part of this option is with the exception of the correct English translation of Anna's adoption certificate I have all the pieces of paper work needed to complete this process. The fee is 2 dollars to have Anna's adoption recorded, 25 dollars for a birth certificate and 2 dollars for each additional birth certificate. The con is if I choose this option Gerard can not be added to the birth certificate as her Father.

Second option is to re-adopt and co-adopt Anna. The pro is Gerard can be named as her Father. If I decided to change Anna's name to include his last name I could. The con is we would have to have criminal background checks which are a no brainier since neither of us have a record, a home study and an attorney then we would have to go to court again. The cost for this option will cost us at least 2000 dollars, which means more time, more paper work and more money.

I know me being single is a sore spot for many who comment of my blog. Here is a little known fact and is also the first time I am telling anyone. Gerard and I had discussed getting married right after Anna came home. We wanted to get married after the first post placement report and before the second post placement report. Which would have been exactly a year ago. Gerard has been at every one of my Home study meetings and has met my Social Worker many times and even discussed the reasons why we have not married with her.

So what happened you ask and why write about this now? First off one day Anna will ask me so that is the reason why I want this to be a part of the blog. After Anna came home things were not how I expected them to be. I was tired, more stressed then I ever could have imagined. I was so worried about Anna's eating or lack of eating. Anna and I had some difficulty in the attachment area. I started to second guess every decision I made.

Then I felt myself back in a position that has haunted for years, I was faced with losing my Mother. My first weeks home were filled with nothing but worrying about leaving Anna, being at every doctor's appointment and counting the days until I had to return to work. My maternity leave was nothing like I had pictured it to be. I guess nothing about my life has been how it should be or the way others think it should be.

I want to thank you all for being so kind to me. I do think writing this stuff down and reading it kind of puts my thoughts in order. So what will be the outcome? I guess the answer is both I will have Anna's adoption recognized by the State of New Jersey and Gerard will go on to adopt her and be added to her birth certificate. My last name will remain in her name but we are still not sure how. We may hyphenate her first and middle name to make her Anna-Catherine with my last name as her middle name and Gerard's Last name as her last name or we could hyphenate both our last names to make her last name. I am practicing writing them both out.

Our plan is to coordinate the Home study that we need for Gerard's adoption with one of the two post placement reports that I still have to complete for Russia. I hope to hear back from the State of New Jersey in the next 2 weeks or about her NJ birth certificate. I am also thinking it is a good time to get Anna a US passport in to help if I decide to travel outside of the U.S. As much as I love the way her Russian passport looks it is time that we also recognize that she is a U.S. citizen as well.