Shock and Disbelief

Thursday I got a call from my Mother. She was at work and not feeling well. She said she was feeling a little dizzy. My niece Jaime offered to pick her up if I watched Hans. She decided to go to the walk in clinic because she was sure it was an ear infection.

Once she was seen by the doctor they called me. The doctor and I discussed her medical history and the need for some blood work. It has been hot as heck here and there was a chance she was dehydrated. The final decision was to send her to the Emergency room to be further evaluated. Jaime drove her there and called me. She told me she did not feel right just leaving her there but she had school in an hour. I told her I was getting the kids ready and we were going to be there shortly it was fine to leave her. The hospital is less then 5 miles from my house and I know a some of people who work in the ER.

Gerard took Anna to the park, I took Hans to the ER. Hans was such a good boy sitting in my big pink stroller as we waited. I know from experience how long certain things take. My Mother's nurse was an old friend of my Mother's from years back. I knew something was up by the look on her face when my mother told her she would be going home soon after all they do not keep you for an ear infection...right! The color drained from Deb's face and I did not see her again for close to an hour.

Just at the time when my Mother was getting antsy the ER doctor came to the bed side. I am pretty sure that if I was not a nurse I would have missed what she was saying because I know my Mother did.

The doctor told my Mother you have a tumor on your skull. You should get that checked out right away. You are discharged.

Now in defense of the ER doctor I am pretty sure that she hated telling my Mother this news but man was her delivery off. Since then the delivery of the news has been a high note. We have laughed ourselves into tears and then laughed again.

Friday I spent my day calling her doctor at Sloan-Kettering who was on vacation. We were set up to see the doctor for today except he wanted her to have a MRI prior to us seeing him. This saves me a trip so I am thankful for this plan. I did get to speak to him at length yesterday.

After a little research I believe this is something that we will have treated with radiation therapy unless there is something more cutting edge that is being done at Sloan-Kettering. Friday I popped into the Radiation Oncology building to take down their contact information. If radiation is what she needs that will be done in our home town because of the inconvenience it would be to do it else where.

God knew that we needed some peace of mind. When I walked into the build the radiation oncologist overhead me talking to the receptionist about my mother. He called me over and pulled up her CT scan for me. We had an informal consultation. He made us feel better about the news. This doctor has worked closely in the past with the doctors from Sloan-Kettering so we are comfortable with having them do her radiation treatments if that is what Sloan-Kettering recommends.

Here is he situation; this could be a metastatic lesion from her lung or breast cancer, Paget's disease or a new cancer elsewhere in the body. The plan for now is that Friday we will travel to Sloan-Kettering for at least one maybe two scans and a visit with her doctor. I have my suspicions as to which it is. I belive there will be a biopsy in the near future of her skull.

So how is my Mother? She is mostly shocked, scared and sad. She thought she was nearing the end of her trips to Sloan-Kettering. They were getting easier to make and less frequent. She is acting strong but I can tell she is very upset.

With her getting sick so close to Anna coming home it limited so much of what she could do to help. This summer she started to take her for a couple of overnights when I worked to give Gerard some free time. She was enjoying being a Nanny again and just being able to focus on her grandchildren rather then doctor appointments. Even I broke down and started to cry. Mostly because of the unknown factor that we are facing.

For the most part we are all shocked. I think it gets a little harder every time you hear the word cancer. You would think it would get easier but it does not.

The type of lesion that my Mother has can be associated with breast and lung cancer as well as other types of cancer.