3 years ago the Judge said Da!

When I logged on today to write about our day I had a totally different thought in mind but a quick scan of my blog revealed a moment that I did not want to miss.

3YEARS...How can it be three years already? On this day 3 years ago I stood in front of a judge answering a range of questions from what I do for a living, to how I plan to discipline my child, to the now famous how will you protect her from sharks in the ocean. Yes, I was even asked about sharks.

I had been so worried about the court proceding. I still tear up a little. During my questioning I told the judge that I thought Anna was perfect. He looked at me and stated her medical conditions. I replied with "She is perfect to me. Isn't that how a Mother should feel about their child?" At the end of the questioning I was asked if I had anything to add. I will be honest I thought for sure that the judge was going to return to the court room to tell me that I could not be Anna's mother. The last things that I remember saying to the judge was "If you can not grant my petition to be Anna's mother I would like to thank the Russian Federation, the Ministry of Education and the director of the orphanage for the chance to meet Anna. She has touched my heart and I will never forget the time that I have spent with her."

Unlike others who have adopted from Russia I was not able to gain custody of Anna for a number of weeks later. I had court, ate dinner with my host family, and then took a walk around their town with them in the evening. It was a quiet relaxing celebration that was a little bitter sweet. I knew that I would not be the one walking Anna out of the baby home but instead I would meet up with her in Moscow. I knew that this was the last time for a while that I would be in Cheboksary.

The day after court my host family took me shopping. I wanted to buy a few dresses and hair bows for Anna. I had been trying to find a particular hat that she wore at the orphanage but was unsuccessful. I got something that looks pretty close so that had made me happy. Later that day I packed up my things, and boarded the plane back to Moscow. Funny how I can not remember how many days I spent in Moscow on that trip. I guess the pain does start to fade.

The trip home was quiet. I needed to start the preparation for traveling back to pick up Anna. I am not sure if I ever blogged about how uneasy I felt about leaving her there. Honestly, I wish I had stayed. I should have persued staying in the town where her orphanage was located so that I could visit with her. There are two things that I would change if I had to do it over this is one of them. The second was I would have taken Gerard on the final trip to pick her up.

We have talked about this many times and he regrets not going as well. The logical part of my brain had taken over and I thought about the money that it would cost. So today I am still the only one (other than Anna) who has seen her baby home. I do wish Gerard had gotten to see it too.