I know this will sound a little crazy but this is a bitter sweet moment for me. I like to believe that Anna's birth parents and extended family will have access to these pictures but I know this is not the case. I hope that at least the person in Russia that puts them into her file takes a minute to stop and look at her. I want to at least envision that this person will remark at how much she has grown and how happy she is. I will tell you all that I am considering a birth family search. If I were her birth mother I would want to know she is okay...scratch that I would HAVE to know she is okay. I can not imagine her pain I am sure that it is far worst than what I went through waiting for Anna to come into my life.
6 comments:
you have done such a good job nurturing your precious daughter into the happy child she is today. God sure has blessed you guys by bringing you to each other!
although i'm not a parent, i have adopted cousins, and was also a mentor to someone who is a birth mother. from what i've heard & read & seen, 99% of the regrets regarding biological family searches come from those who did NOT search. it is extremely unlikely that you will regret trying to find Anna's birth family, but you may regret not trying. it's also a fact that the longer you wait, the less likely you are to succeed. i say, pray about it of course, but i'd go for it! unless God clearly tells you otherwise, i think it's something you will be glad you did. and i know that even if you don't find anything, one day you will be able to tell your daughter that you DID try. the most important person in this entire equation is ANNA... if you make your decisions with that in mind, you won't go wrong. ;-)
keep up the good work with her, she's blossoming and i'm so excited to continue following along just as i have from the beginning! :-)
Love the photos. She has just blossomed under your support and love. Truly amazing how far we have come.
As for the birth family search, I can only say what I feel. My bio father gave up his rights to my one brother and me. He decided to keep them for our older brother. My step-dad adopted the two of us. I always knew who my dad was and that I had a "father" somewhere else. He was around and I wanted nothing to do with him. Having him around was too difficult and awkward. For me, knowing who my bio father was was too difficult. That said, I am going to take Colby's lead on it. We have a lot of info about his bio family, including a few addresses. We even have photos. If he shows interest than I will proceed. If not, then I will let it rest.Just my opinion.
Melissa
Love the pictures! hearing you want to do a family search made me smile. I wish you the best! Janet
Beautiful pictures! We also recently completed our last PPR, and I had the same bittersweet feelings. I knew it wasn't getting to BM, but I had heard that the Director at the baby home will look through them, and I love the idea of someone over there who knew our son, seeing his pictures and having a moment of happiness that he is loved and happy.
On the birth parent search...we recently completed one (took a year from start to finish...through Mary Kirkpatrick). We knew it wasn't a pretty story, but I am SO glad we did it. We made contact! She wrote a letter! We got some pictures of BM. So, so glad we have those to give our son. And BM said she HAD wondered about him, had tried to send a msg to him (at this point he was already in the US), did not know where he was, had many regrets, and was SO happy to know he is loved and happy. Her letter made me cry. A lot.
Send me a msg if you have questions about Mary, etc. Our son was from Kemerovo Region (Novokuznetsk).
Congrats on the 3 year PPR!
Congratulations on the final PPR!!! It's great to be done, but yes, bittersweet, too.
will help Aidan look for birthfamily when and if he wants to. However, I won't be searching otherwise. I don't believe his birthmother is still alive for one thing and she was not at the last known address--the MOE went there during our court process looking for her. Nothing at all is known about te birthfather. I do have the names of two older brothers.
I pray for her and am so very thankful an I will always say so to Aidan.
Pat doesn't know his birthparents and has no desire to find them. Thus, why I wil wait and let Aidan make that decision.
It is a very personal decision that each family needs to make. God bless you as you pray on this one!
Joy,
I have no idea if your pictures from your PPR are looked at or not, but I'd like to share one of my experiences with you.
I know when you are doing your homestudy/post placement reports it can seem like such a pain and intrusion. When we met with the MOE during our 2nd adoption, he remembered us from our 1st adoption. He left them room and momentarily came back with our past homestudy and all of our post placement reports. They were in pristine order. It can't even explain the feeling that came over me, but I got the sense that these reports did matter and that maybe (just maybe) they do get viewed by someone who cares.
Lastly, on the birth family search...I can only share my experience. I am so thankful that my husband and I did this. Not only do we have pictures of my son's birth mother, her parents, her siblings and their children, I know what his birth mother's favorite and least favorite subjects were in school, what she does for work, the story behind his birth and what his grandpa did for a living. Most importantly, this led me to his younger half brother which I have now adopted.
I know this is a personal decision, but my fear of waiting until my child could voice his opinion in this matter was that the trail would go cold. The longer we would have waited the bigger chance of not being able to locate his birth mother. You really can't predict how your child may feel in 10 or 15 years.
Katie
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