Home from the conference

I had intended to post something about the conference that I went to this past weekend much earlier than this but life got in the way. When I was asked to if I wanted to go the Created for Care Conference a couple of months ago I jumped at the chance. I was one of those people who stayed up and booked it at midnight in order to assure that I had a spot. Silly maybe, effective...yes!

The conference was created with the intention of learning about adoption related issues, connecting with other adoptive mothers and God. First off I highly recommend this conference. I took so much more away from this conference than I thought I would when I signed up. Those of you who know me well know that I LOVE to travel and no place is too far for me to go especially when I get the chance to meet up with people Like Adrienne, Melissa and Carrie. I also got to meet in person Liz and Kim which was pretty special too.

My sister yelled at me when I told her how long it took me to drive to Atlanta mostly because she is a truck driver so she does not understand the fine art of fooling around as you drive from point A to point B. I will say I have a new appreciation for Gerard because he is more like my sister and is usually the driver when we go on long trips.

Two funny things happened on the trip down. First off I realized I had to pump my own gas. Yes I now know that most of the country pumps their own gas but I usually never leave the state without a full tank and if I do Gerard is there to pump it. By the end of the trip I was able to not look like a fool doing it. The second thing is I stopped for a pedicure. Warning this may sound gross...okay it does sound gross...The lady was working on the callous on my feet and pulled out the biggest industrial sized cheese grader that I have ever seen. I will not lie the thought of snapping a picture did cross my mind.

Once I arrived at the conference (by the way I was late because I was fooling around) I checked in and walked into the back of the room. I instantly spotted Adrienne. I felt my eyes tear up. Once the presentation was over she spotted me. I can not believe how I started to cry and hug her.


About 2 minutes after I stopped crying Melissa and Carrie walked up and I choked up all over again. See Carrie, Melissa and Adrienne were among three of first blogs that I started reading prior to starting the adoption process. I can remember watching video of Melissa's first little boy with Gerard when he first came home. Gerard studied the video of Iliya looked at me and gave me the okay to go ahead with our Russian adoption as well as my blog. I think it is funny how from time to time Gerard still asks about these children.

I can not tell you how amazing it felt to be around others who have adopted. I think in many cases we (adoptive Mothers) have put up our guards to protect our feelings when it comes to the fact that our children are adopted. Some children who are adopted have issues with attachment and bonding or other sensory issues that other adults and children do not understand. Like Mothers who have given birth we worry about our children. I am generally pretty laid back and even I am questioned at times about my how I choose to do things. I think the hardest thing for outsiders to understand is just how important it is to support the attachment process when a child is newly home.

We heard from a panel of adoptive children and this was an eye opener. The one lady described her experience of being adopted. From what I took away from her story was that she felt as though she was unable to ask her parents about her adoption and the time she spent between leaving her birth mother and coming to live with her adoptive mother. She had been placed in an orphanage at birth but not placed with an adoptive family for 5 months. To her those 5 months were such a loss. As an adoptive Mother is could be easy to forget that time because adoptive mothers has no first hand experience with that time. I know you are thinking it was just 5 short months but to her those months without having parents to hold, care and love her still impact her at 38 years of age.

I want to never forget that the 22 months that Anna spent in the orphanage were very hard for her. I wish more than anything in the world that I could change that piece of her life. I choke up at the thought of Anna not being held when she was sad or hurt.

I learned so much that I plan on splitting this into 2 or 3 posts this week.