My Heart is sad

Two news events in the past week have weighted heavy on my heart. First is the discovery of an abortion in clinic in Philadelphia and the second is the bombing of an airport in Moscow.

As I said earlier I had a crazy work week. I drive about 45 minutes to and from work. I am the type of driver who has the music blasting and I am usually singing right along...at least when Anna is not in the car with me. When she is with me we recite books I have memorized. Occasionally, I listen to the Christen station. Not the , music but the talk shows instead. I like things that make you think and I have found that these small shows sometimes can get you to think long and hard about a situation.

The other morning the talk show was about abortion clinics and the people who work in these clinics. I work in a newborn nursery. We also are able to take care of premature infants who are 32-33 weeks in gestation. A full term pregnancy is considered to be 40 weeks. We also at times deliver much smaller infants, stabilize them so they can be transported to a level 3 NICU. The youngest child I have been involved with was 25 weeks...2 weeks younger then Bennett.

In my job I have seen many children born who are perfect healthy and who thrive in loving families. I have also had the unfortunate occasion to have to picture infants who have died both before they were born and some who have died after birth. I remember the first time I saw a child who was not kicking and full of life. I took it all in, walked out of the room to the bathroom and threw up. I felt flushed and nearly passed out.

I know my friends who I work with would never believe this but it is a true story, that was many years ago. I have since been able to deal with my own personal feelings about seeing a lifeless child. Usually I am the one who will take the pictures of these child for the parents. My friends and I take extra time to dress and picture as many details of the child as we can. We understand that these are the only pictures these parents may ever have of their child. These are some of the saddest days at work. We are all affected when this happens even if we do not say or show it.

The radio show talked about praying for those who work in these abortion clinics rather then showing and being angry at them. I am so glad that I listened to this program because it has changed my mind set to some degree to show them some compassion and pray for their change of heart. I am often amazed how God's timing works. When I got home before I fell asleep I read a story about an abortion clinic in Philadelphia that was being shut down.

My heart and prayers go out to the women who thought this was their only option. Please, abortion is not the only option. Adoption can and does work. Last night Gerard and I talked about this last night and we both agree that this is murder and those involve should be charged with murder. Even though these are our beliefs we also believe that we should pray for those who preformed these abortions well.

The second thing that has saddened me is the bombing in the Moscow airport. This is the airport that I traveled through on my second and third trips to Russia. I remember Alex my Russian coordinator waiting with Anna and I as I when through the ticketing process and initial security check. From what I read the arrival area is what was bombed. I remember walking through this area looking for a sign with my name on it. I remember feeling worried that I would not be able to find my driver. I never remember feeling worried that I might be blown up.

I so wish that this type of violence would come to an end. My prayers go out to all who must still travel to pick up and meet their children in Russia.