Mad!

First of all I have been crazy busy no real excuse for not updating the blog. I just have a lot of thoughts going on in my head these days.

Back to the word...Mad. No not me, but this is what Anna thought when we were in W@lmart today picking up diapers. No she is not potty trained yet that is a whole other topic.

In the last month I think it is so neat how Anna is putting her feelings or thoughts into words. Anna's speech is improving and at times it seems like she is having an explosion of words and then other times she is in a stand still. Anna's speech is still quite delayed in my opinion so in retrospect it was a good thing that we decided on preschool because she is getting speech therapy twice a week. I want to see if she qualifies for some type of speech therapy for the summer.

But back to the topic, Anna has been home for close to 17 months. I have been back to work at least part time for much of that time. I would say for the first 6 months Anna had almost no speech but was still able to get her needs met through our personal sign language and anticipating her needs. Then we started speech therapy at home and Anna started to use some of her words to ask for things she wanted but she was not able to express her feelings much in the form of words.

I know it seems I might focus on her speech delay here on the blog or perhaps not but I am actually quite laid back in person. Her speech will develop and we look at her delay as a bit of a blessing because we spend a lot of time talking to her and showing her stuff and things which in my opinion has helped with attachment on some level for us. Mostly I view it that way because I knew what she wanted when others did not so she would come to me instead of others. This also helped me to feel like her Mother rather then a stranger.

I had a day in the past 2 weeks where I was quite sad. Anna saw me cry more then I liked. She came to me to comfort me and I told her I was sad. I took the time to compose myself and we talked about how it is okay to be sad some times. I told her it was okay to cry. When Anna cries because she is not getting way or is upset with a rule I look her in the eye and tell her it is okay to be upset. I tell her that I will hold her until she is no longer upset. Anna started coming to me a couple of months ago requesting to be held and now every time she is upset she asks "hold, please".

So this past week Anna has had two big days when she put her emotions into words. The first was last week when she saw me getting ready for work. I wear a uniform, the same uniform every time I go to work so it is a routine she is used to seeing. She looked me in the eye tugged on my shirt.

Anna said "Mama working?" she looked a little sad.
I said "Yes, Mama is going to work but Anna will be here with Daddy and will sleep with La-La and Coco tonight."

I think it is very important to tell her what to expect like who is picking her up or staying with her for the night. I do better when I am prepared so I think she does better too.

Anna for the first time said "Mama, no working! Stay Anna! Cozy time! Hold Anna." That is what we call out snuggle time and she does love her cozy time.

As a Mother this killed me even though I know that when she is with La-La she gets the best care possible because she is loved and gets to play knowing that she wanted me was such a heart breaking experience. Gerard is home when I leave for work so he held her and played for a little bit before he had to lay down for the night.

Which brings us to today, we were in W@lmart and Anna being the spunky little kid that she is was saying "Hi" and "Bye" to everyone she met as we went up and down the aisles. We came across a lady who for some reason did not say hello or goodbye to Anna. Now I certainly do not expect everyone to think my baby is cute or to respond to her 'Hi" and "Bye" so I was okay with this but Anna was funny. She was not upset but in my opinion more observant.

Anna looked at me and said "Lady MAD!" Of course while pointing at her.

Okay I do not think she was mad but to see Anna put a label on some one's perceived emotion was very neat. I thought about it for a minute and told her that I did not really think that the lady was mad but either she did not hear Anna (which I find pretty much impossible) or maybe she was just not being polite.

We then talked about how you can be polite, which included not pointing at some one. We talked about looking people in the eye when we talk and then practiced looking others in the eye when she told them "Hi" and "Bye".

I guess I just love the way good opportunities to teach her just spring up every day.