Paper Work Updates-DONE!

This time last year I was just starting the paper work for my home study. I remember being so nervous that I would somehow fail or not be approved for adoption. I think that it is pretty normal to be concerned about the process. Over the last couple of months I have learned that many of the steps that I must take are only to ensure that I am equipped to care for a child.

I consider myself very lucky because my home study update is completed with a notarized letter from my agency. May I say this was done with almost no stress. Friday I took a drive to Trenton for a couple of new birth certificates. 29.00 dollars and 35 minutes later I had 5 new birth certificates in my hands. Oddly enough I only had one other document that needed to be redone which was the copy of my passport. Come Monday morning I will have that notarized and then put into an envelope to be apostilled.

I feel like I am getting things done. I love that feeling. I know that I have a couple more documents that are coming up for renewal in January. Because of my current time line I believe that most of my dossier will expire so I plan on working on having everything filled out and just waiting to be signed, notarized and apostilled. I like being ahead of the game.

Additional Documents Needed. Who knew that would happen?

What will I do when there are no more documents that need to be collected, notarized and apostilled? What will I do with my time? I have to say I am a little nervous about finishing up all the paperwork. Now before any of you think I am crazy I know that the paperwork will truly never be done.

I am afraid that once I am not having to put together documents and wait for the postman I will start to get anxious about waiting for a referral. I think the best way to combat this is to start to make a few lists of things that need to be done prior to traveling.

My agency contacted me yesterday and asked for a few additional documents (4 in total). I already have 2 out the 4 in an envelope addressed and ready to be mailed. I need one additional document from my home study agency which I emailed them a copy today. By far the funniest document that I did not include in the initial dossier package that I sent last week was pictures of me.

How I forgot to include these pictures is beyond me. Even funnier is I hate getting my picture taken. I know you are all saying we see your face on this blog more often then we would like to see but the reality is that I am trying to get used to having my picture taken again.

One interesting fact about me is that I used to be a beauty queen. This is a little known fact. In my younger years I would compete in beauty pageants. I loved everything about them, and then one day I got too busy to put on make up and do my hair. I keep asking my friends "when are you going to nominate me for What Not to Wear?"

How Much do I love the Post Office?

Our post office is within walking distance of our home. I love the fact that it is so close because usually I put Dottie's leash on and away we go. Today I finally finished putting together all my documents that needed to be sent to Trenton.

I went to Wal-Mart to have the pictures of my home put into a collage. Putting the pictures together took a little time but they turned out so nice. I was able to edit the pictures so that I could include the label of each room right in the photograph.
So the documents are on their way.

Unlike the Postman who delivers the mail the Post woman at the Post office thinks I am very nice. She does not know my stalker side (Just Kidding). Curtsey of my favorite Post woman she took my picture with my package before I gave it to her to be mailed out. Unlike with my I-171 I have put the tracking information in a very safe place. I will not lose it this time.

I thought about driving to Trenton for the one day service but then I figured it out that each document would cost $20.00 or $580.00 as opposed to just $5.00 or $145.00 for the 4 day service by mail. That is enough money for at least 2 nights in an apartment in Moscow so that is what I did.

I want to thank everyone who has helped through my frustation last week. I have thought about something that Ana has said about how her delays brought her to her little Eli. I know that many of you all are waiting for referrals or to return to your little ones and I pray daily that they come in God's time.

Ready, Set, Apostille

Yesterday I drove 1 1/2 hours and picked up my updated home study. What a relief! I can not believe that I now hold everything that needs to be apostilled for the initial dossier. I have to say I am lucky to have the resources, the time and yes the patience to get all this done. Today I have spent much of the afternoon putting everything together so that I can send all these beautiful papers to Trenton, New Jersey.

I can not believe it. So many months of putting these papers together looking at them, keeping them safe in plastic cover sheets and re-reading them. The days of holding on to them are coming to an end. I do need to take a couple more pictures of the house and attachment to the notarized cover sheet because I did not read the directions properly. So Monday is the day. I will send it all out. Hooray!

I'm Afraid Frustration Has Taken Over

I think I am having an off day. I am waiting one document to be finished so that I can have the Dossier apostilled and sent to Russia. The crazy thing is the document that needs to be changed is one that I have had done for quite some time.

When I changed agencies I had to get my home study changed to reflect the new agency. Well there seems to be either a hold up or a miscommunication. I sent all the things that need to be changed to my home study agency in the end of January.
When I talked to them in January I was told that it would take at least a week before the changes could be made. I am trying to be patient but I guess I am not that patient after all. I have called them once and I am contemplating calling them again this week to see where we stand with the changes.

I know that these tiny obstacles have been put in my way to slow things down a little bit for one of many reasons. Maybe I am supposed to finish my degree first and then be free of writing papers and researching for hours at a time. I know that once the baby comes I will want to spend most of my time reading and playing with the little one. Gerard keeps telling me that I have to wait until it is my turn in God's plan. I have to say thinking about it that way does help me to cope.

No Real News!

Gerard and I are both sick. He has quite a fever and is miserable. I am so glad that we are not scheduled to travel right now because it would be murder.
I have enjoyed reading about all my blogger friends who have traveled recently or are in Russia. Because we switched agencies we are waiting on the update from the agency that did our Homestudy. That is the last piece of the puzzle. I am hoping that I will hear something by the end of the week. I am going to offer to pick it up so that I can kept on traveling to get everything apostilled.

I started looking at apartments and airline tickets. I know that I have to buy refundable airline tickets so I am in a little bit of sticker shock. I live about 2.5hours from New York City so I am hopeful that I can get a direct flight only time will tell.

I Got the I-171! I Think?

Today started out as a regular day. I was sitting in my office watching out the window waiting to pounce on the mailbox once the mailman was in sight. Yes a pretty normal day for me now. I remember a time that I did not check the mail for a week at a time. Now if I do not get mail I precede to check it all afternoon.
So as I am spying on the mailman as he gathers the mail to put into my box I see a large yellow envelope.

Now I am scrambling for my slippers. What is this piece of mail? I hope he does not bend it to fit it in the mailbox! Okay now I am thinking I am just crazy but wait I have a psychological study that says I am normal.

I run out to the mailbox and flip through the mail until I see who the sender is. I hope this is not a piece junk mail which I have just started to hate. The sender is the DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY. Now I am running into the house. The dog is going nuts because she thinks either I am playing or there is something wrong.

I open the large package and out comes the letter that states:

NOTICE OF FAVORABLE DETERMINATION CONCERNING APPLICATON FOR ADVANCE PROCESSING OF ORPHAN PETITION

I am very excited. I just can not believe that I have the forms in my hand. Then I read it over again. This is the confusing part no where on the letter does it state that this is an I-171 approval letter. I just thought that the letter would say this in big print somewhere. So now my question is this the I-171 or just letter stating that I will be getting the I-171.

I know that my coordinator is not available until tomorrow but she said that I can email her if I need something. Now I know that this is the minor stuff. I just feel like I am so okay with this part of the wait but I will just be off the hook once I know that I am really waiting once my Dossier is translated and in Russia or between trips.

I have read about many others who are waiting with there Dossiers already in Russia for many months. My heart just goes out to them. I think just hearing the phone ring will make me jump. Lately I have read about so my receiving their referrals and traveling either for the first or second time that makes me thank God that this is even possible for me to do. God has provided me with the patience, the desire and the money to complete my dream of being a Mommy. Today is truly a wonderful day!

I'm Checking Things Off the List

Well the Psychological Evaluation is done!

I think I had some underlying fear about this part of the Dossier. I can not believe how easy the evaluation was. I took Valerie's advice and tried Dr. Linda Busch for the evaluation. She told me that she will have the documents to me and apostilled by the end of next week. Wow that is great service. She was wonderful because she was able to bring her experience as an adoptive mother to the conversation. She was the type of person that you could talk to for hours and still find the conversation rewarding.

She had some great views on attachment and just generally getting used to becoming a family. There was nothing that was weird or out-there about her thoughts. If I lived closer to her I would consider using her as a regular therapist.

I spoke with Lisa my adoption coordinator yesterday. She reviewed my paperwork for the initial part of the Dossier and said it looks good no real changes needed. So that is moving right along. I feel like I am really back in the swing of things. I did not realize that I was having so much anxiety about all the changes. I feel much more focused now. I really was in a funk the past couple of weeks and did not realize it.

I think I was still shocked that this adoption is going so well (knock on wood). I have not had any real set backs. I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop a little bit. I guess I will just enjoy the moment.

Lisa my adoption coordinator said that if I get everything in to her for the end of February then I should maybe hear about a referral around the end of April. I think some of my anxiety was because when I started this journey I was fully prepared for travel in the end of 2008. The thought that this could happen sooner is both wonderful and frightening.

Non-Adoption news my new class started today. I have 4 more after this one. I can not wait for this to be done. The classes are only five weeks so they get pretty intense. By about the third week I am ready for it to be done. There is very little room for error in these classes to meet the participation that is required. I am so glad that I am doing this before the little one comes. Off to work now.

I'm Not Crazy After All!

Well,
Today was a very productive day for me. At Valerie's suggestion I looked into using Dr. Busch for my Psychological evaluation. I called her this morning when I got up and left a message that probably sounded crazy rambling on about my situation. Wow was I surprised when she called me back. I think this may be easier then I first thought. She emailed me a couple of forms to fill out. I can pay her using PayPal. She is willing to do the evaluation over the telephone. The best part however is that she is going to handle having all the documents notarized, certified and apostilled. She is even going to send them directly to the agency if I like.

I also spent quite a bit of the day completing my adoption education on line. I have to say that it was quite enlightening and a little scary. I think that it is normal to feel a little scared about attachment issues. I have been going on the premise that if I am aware that there may be issues with attachment that I will be able to see the warning signs and be able to intervene if a problem arises.

The other thing that I really never thought about was how the child may experience the feelings of loss. I have a number of friends who have adopted and we have talked about some of the issues that they have encountered. The loss of having a birthparent available to the child has not come up. This brings me to a difficult fork in the road. I decided to pursue international adoption specifically because there would be no confusion as to who the mother or father are for this child but now I am rethinking whether or not my decision to exclude a birthparent or extended family presents me with a new set of problems.

I have read some on the FRUA website about families who have hired an investigator to find the birth parents or family members. Off the top of my head I can not quote any particular investigator but it has got me thinking. I wonder if it is feasible for us to have some type of relationship with the birth family. In my mind I have always thought I would travel back to Russia when the time is right so that my child will at least be able to see where he or she was born and spent the first couple of years of his or her life but now I am thinking that this may not be enough. I know this is a lot to think about. I think I am just getting a little nervous because everything seems to be going so fast.

I got my Christmas Present Today

Well I know that I already posted once today but as luck would have it the mailman still comes to my house. Today I got my invitation to be fingerprinted by the Department of Homeland Security. On December 18, 2007 I will be at the Philadelphia office to be fingerprinted.

I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. It just seems like I have spent years waiting to be a mother and now the process is flying by. I have so many things that need to be finished before Little Bean comes home and I hope to get at least half of them done.

On a different topic and a bit of advice for others. I know that I am behind the times when it comes to technology. In the last couple of years I have not checked off the box for a CD of my pictures. What a fool I am. So yesterday I spent 4 hours at Wal-Mart scanning pictures on to one of those machines and I got a CD made for $2.47. This Christmas I am not planning on spending large amounts of money but giving things that are more meaningful instead. My sister Jenny and I went to Europe a couple of years ago and we never really did anything with the pictures. I burned all these pictures onto a CD and that will be her present this year. I hope she loves it.

Here are some of the pictures from that trip in May of 2002.

Some of my favorite quotes from this trip were:

"There is some bus involvement" Really there were days that we were on the bus for 8 hours
"Tower made of steel now lets go" Jenny hates heights but she made up the Eiffel tower anyway
The first chocolate cake was made in Austria Jenny's response "Now I see why they made a second"

I look bake now and see that this trip although trying at time was a wonderful experience for both of us.

I-600 Completed and Sent In

The last couple of days have been very busy on the adoption home front. I have received my final home study with all the notarized documents in place with the exception of the home study agency license. This document will be sent to me from the state of New Jersey. This is a big deal for me so I am very excited.

Because the paperwork has been changed for what CHI is requiring in order to send a Dossier to Russia I did not have to put together as many papers as others did in the past. See things really do go my way. I did however have to send in the I-600 form and need to have a copy of the approval letter to bring home little bean (I-171). Friday, I ripped open the home study package and put the copy into the envelope that has been waiting and when directly to the bank for the check and then the post office.

Here is another instance where I was very lucky. My bank's lobby stays open late and the post office was next door. I was the last one to be let into the post office. Now I know that this seems silly. I could have mailed this form on Saturday and the Department of Homeland Security would receive it on the same day as if I mailed it on Friday but I do not care because I am so excited.

I have been trying to pace myself during this wait even though I have not waited on paper as long as some of you out there. I have waited many years for the money to do this and for all the physical moves that I have made to settle down so that I can start this journey. I feel blessed that so far I have not reached any spot in this wait or journey that has made me rethink my decision.

I was reading on the FRUA website the other night about the wait for the I-171 approval. I started a ticker so that I can easily figure out how many days this will take to get back. I read on the Department of Homeland Security Website that it will take about 3 months for the I-171 to be sent to me. Hopefully it will be back to me by February 1, 2008.

Well I am off to do some really fun things like clean the bathroom, laundry, vacuum and make the bed. I do not want any of you to be jealous that I am going to have so much fun today.

A Night Out with Gerard! (Sands Casino Implosion)

Last night Gerard and I decided that we should have a night out together. Gerard and I are not big partiers so neither of us frequent a bar or night club. We tend to do things that seem a little crazy to others and we usually have a ton of fun doing it. We live close to Atlantic City, New Jersey. For those of you who are no familiar with Atlantic City the main economy is gambling. There are many different casinos in Atlantic City which is located on the beach. There is a boardwalk and all the little shops that go along with boardwalks. In the past Atlantic City (AC) was not the type of town that I would go to for a family vacation. The boardwalk and surrounding area seemed a little questionable. Over the years however the AC has tried to change the image of the town and I have to say they are doing a wonderful job from what I saw last night. There are now many wonderful places to eat and shop. The casinos are trying to revitalize the area so that more people think of AC as a vacation spot on the shore not only a place to gamble.

This brings us to the night out that Gerard and I had planned. I am sure that I have mentioned in the past that Gerard is a workaholic. He loves to cover as much ground as possible in any given situation. He is always on the run. I think this is one of the reasons why we balance each other out so well. I love to take in the experience and nail him down so to speak. The Sands casino was scheduled to be imploded last night October 18, 2007 at 9:30 pm. For some reason the moon and stars were in alignment and we were both off. This tends to be a very difficult thing these days because we are both trying to work as much as possible to save money. This is also another reason why it is difficult to go out because we are trying to save money. The implosion was free and I am all about the free date these days. Okay maybe not free we paid for parking, dinner and a little gambling but is all less the 50 dollars (I had some comps).

I have never been to an implosion before and I have to say if you get the chance it was wonderful. Before the Sands was to be imploded the casino group who purchased the land sprung for a fireworks show. I love fireworks so I was all over that besides I worked the fourth of July and missed out on the fireworks (Gerard worked so it is no fun to go to fireworks alone). I made sure that we got there is plenty of time to park and take a few pictures with my camera. That is when I figured out this camera can record so I said may as well try it out tonight. So here are some pictures of the Sands casino and our night out and a video of the implosion. Yes that is my loud voice in the video and yes Gerard tends to shake my arm when I am trying to do something that requires a steady hand (I think he does not even realize he is doing it).



By the way I did get a great picture of Gerard but he does not want anyone to see it so I promised I would not put it on the blog. I have to say that I would imagine that many of you out there who do not know us well would think that he is imaginary. I have to say I could not make up half the things he says or does.

As far as the Dossier I am waiting on the final copy of the home study so that I can get it all apostilled and sent to CHI. As soon as I have the copy in my hand I will be sending out the I-600, driving to get my birth certificate and dropping off the documents to be apostilled. I am hoping that the Dossier will be complete and sent to CHI by the first of the year.

The Paperwork has Changed!

If you are adopting with CHI and are in the middle of preparing your Dossier I am sure that I am not the first one to tell you the paperwork has changed. It seems to me that CHI is trying to what is right for both the Russian Government what is right for the adoptive parents. CHI has reduced the number of papers that are needed to register the Dossier. This does not mean that the other papers do not need to be filled out. It just means that they will be filled out closer to the time of travel.

For those of you reading this blog this may sound a little confusing. So I am going to try to explain it the best way that I can. The Dossier is a large file full of different papers. Some papers state the reason why we want to adopt while others give the adoption agency the right to speak on my behalf. All the papers in the Dossier need to be notarized and apostilled by the state of New Jersey before they can be registered in Russia. These last 2 steps cost money. The documents in the dossier may only be good for 3-6 months so if we do not receive a referral and our documents expire we have to redo them and spend more money to have them notarized and apostilled. The number of documents needed went from 22 to 12.

Because the number of documents needed to register the Dossier has been reduced we will spend less money when we have to redo these documents in upcoming months. People who know me well know that I have to waste money. Each time I save a little more money I think this is time that I can stay home once little Bean is here.

So here is where my paper chase stands right now. I need a copy of the I-171H from the INS, a new birth certificate and the final home study report with all related documents. The other documents are done and waiting to be sent to CHI for review prior to being apostilled. The birth certificate I will get tomorrow and I will call the home study agency to see how far along we have gotten on the final report. So the time has come to hurry up and wait.

Honestly, I am enjoying the wait so far. This wait has given me time to think about the things that I need to do and the things that I want to do before the Little Bean comes home. I know that one of these days I will complain that the wait is too long and I hope that someone reminds me that 'good things come to those who wait.' I pray to be a patient waiter. I think the hardest wait will come between the first and second trip. I hope that I am able to work everyday in between to help take my mind off the wait.

Checking Things Off the List

Well, I have been very busy working on the list of things needed for the Dossier. My hope is to be done with the Dossier by the 2nd week of October. I finally feel like I have gotten a handle on the paperwork. Yesterday I sat down and made a list of things that I still need. I read in Susan's blog however that there may be some changes to what paperwork is needed so I may be closer then I think.

My Social worker told me that she would send a rough draft to my coordinator in New York of my home study first so that she could review it for the content to make sure that everything that I need is there. I have to say this is the one thing about CHI that I love the most. Honestly, she could just wait until it was all done and then tell me that it needs to be redone. By Susha reviewing the paperwork for content and form first it takes the guess work out of it.

Working the night shift is both good and bad. I am able to be home everyday but some days I feel more sluggish then others. I plan to go to bed right after Gerard goes to work tonight in the hopes of getting up early (About 10:00am). Because we both work the nightshift our schedules can be a little crazy.

Sundays are usually the hardest because we tend to keep that for the extended family. After the family leaves it is too late to go any where or to get anything done because everything closes. I guess it is a good thing.

So now I have this list to complete:
Copies of Driver's License
Passport Pictures for visas
New Birth certificates
Doctor's appointment on Tuesday
New letter from my job (the notary expires in April so the document is no good after that)
Get Blood work
Fax everything to Susha
Have all the documents notarized
Send out Dossier
This list seems pretty do able compared to the initial list.

Part #2 of the Home Study is DONE!

Our Home

Well I have just completed the home visit for my home study. I do not know why I worried about this part so much. I know that I have a nice home and I try to keep it clean. The funny thing that happened last week was my usually neat and orderly home was trashed. There was stuff everywhere. Now I know you are all asking who trashed your house. It was me. I think I was so nervous about having someone come to my home that I did not put a thing away. The shear amount of stuff in my kitchen was overwhelming.

Kitchen



So I planned to clean and pick everything up this weekend.
Well that did not happen. I ended up picking up everything last night after Gerard left for work. I have inserted some pictures of what the house looked like right before the Social worker came to visit. Our house is not a McMansion but I love anyway. The other house was way too big for us.

Living Room



Little Bean's Room (That is our Nickname for the Baby)



My Social Worker and I spoke about my concerns about CHI not being accredited for Russia as of yet. Her opinion of the matter was that Russia has just not gotten to CHI’s application. She has worked with CHI quite a bit and is very confident that they will be one of the next agencies that are accredited.

CHI was not able to do my home study because they do not have an office in New Jersey. My coordinator referred me to A Loving Choice Adoption Associates. I have to say if anyone in New Jersey needs an agency to do their home study I highly recommend this agency. I felt very comfortable talking with them about the things that I need to complete and steps that I will take along the way. There is a link to their web page on the side of my blog.

Gerard is some how convinced that this adoption will not take much time at all but I am a little more realistic. He keeps saying that it will all happen at once. He swears that it is because I count how many additional PTO hours I am getting in each paycheck. I plan to go back to work on a reduced work week of 2-12 hour shifts and use a PTO day to make up the pay.
I am off to make fish tacos for dinner. Don't knock them until you try them. Then I am off to work. What a beautiful day today was.

Well, My First Home Study Meeting is DONE!

On September 6, 2007 I completed my first home study interview. I am sure that everyone has a part of the adoption process that worries them the most. Some people worry how will I pay for the adoption and still be able to take off some time once the baby comes. For me this is not a worry. I have spent the last 4 years saving for the adoption. I flipped a house in order to come up with the bulk of the money and have saved enough PTO so that I can take some time off to go to Russia. I will also be able to be off a little bit after the baby is here. I will still have to work but hopefully only part-time or 2 nights per night.

For me the home study interviews were what have racked my nerves. Not because I am not a good person or that I do not have a suitable house. These interviews worried me because the decision of this social worker is a make it or break it point in the adoption. If my home study is not favorable then the adoption is off at least in my mind. I am sure that my family has no idea how important and nerve racking this part of the process is for me.

But God has answered my prayers and was smiling down on me. I followed the guidance of my case worker at CHI about which agency I should use for my home study and I could not be happier. For the people who know me the best they know that of all the things that I love the best it is older beach cottages. I like things that are bright and painted white but on the distressed shabby side too.

So let me recap the day for you. I did not sleep real well the night before and the appointment was for me an early morning appointment 10:45am. I know that does not sound early but I work the night shift and the agency was over an hour away. I did not have directions so I had to call from the road (I hate that because I love Map quest). I tried to get a picture of me before I left and got very upset because I looked like I was going to a funeral and very upset. Gerard and I could not figure out the camera after I thought I knew how to use it so I got upset with him (Sorry). Then I felt like I left late. Great now I am even more nervous.

1. Scared of the interview
2. No picture
3. New camera not working (It really was working)
4. I did not know where I was going
5. Left late
6. Took out my nervousness on Gerard

So to say the least I was not feeling very positive. I know that if anyone who has already adopted or gone through this must know how I felt. Well let me say I prayed the whole way there that I would not get lost and that it was going to be okay. I knew the minute that I pulled up that everything was going to be okay.

The agency was in a beautiful little old pristine white beach house with a beautiful front porch. Immediately I was at ease. I knew this was the right decision, the right agency and that everything was going to be okay. The Social worker was wonderful and very familiar with CHI. I have my next appointment for my home visit on September 17, 2007. I already know that I have plenty time off before she comes to my house. I have to say I feel very relieved. I feel like I can breathe again.

I want to thank everyone who has supported me up until this point. Soon this part of the adoption will be over and I will be on to the next step.

First Home Study Interview...and I am Nervous!

I will be having my first home study interview on September 6, 2007 at 10:45am. I feel prepared but I am very nervous. What if they ask a question and I do not answer it correctly. I am sure that this is a normal feeling that all you have had about the process. My family as supportive as they are do not understand the seriousness of the home study.

So I lost it the other day. My mother as good as she is yelled at me to "Just snap out of it. Give me some paper work to fill out and I will just finish what needs to be done."

Well the funny thing about this comment is that I fill out all of her paper work for everything. She made me laugh. It really helped but I am still very nervous. I think I am going to start to do Yoga again to help with my anxiety about the home study and the accreditation and everything else. Somehow I feel better having this blog. It is a way for me to put my feelings out there to people who are experiencing the same feelings and frustrations that I am feeling. I only have a few blogs that I read but I have to say that each blog that I have read and commented on has really helped me to overcome my personal feelings of anxiety. You all do not know how helpful you have been to me. I will say a prayer for all of you who are traveling to complete your families, learning about your forever children, waiting for a referral, waiting for your second trip and dealing with any issues that have surfaced with your children.

I have decided to take time. Time to enjoy all parts of the experience without the hard times there would be no good times. I found a new blog today that I have added to my favorites list. This blog is called WorldWide Adoption Prayers. I have also added the link to this post. I am grateful for blogs like this one.
WorldWide Adoption Prayers
http://wwadoptionprayers.blogspot.com/

Let the Paperwork Begin!

As you can see by the time line at the bottom of this blog I have submitted my initial paperwork to the agency that will be doing my home study. Part of this paperwork was a biography about myself and why I wanted to adopt a child. Many of you have not seen this biography because it is so long I was not sure if anyone would be interested in reading it. I know many of my friends have heard me talk about my desire to adopt a child and some of you think I am a little crazy for wanting to change my lifestyle so drastically. I think that if you read a part of my biography you will see I am no different then any of you when you all were thinking about having a child. Just for me I have to go about it a little differently.

"...For me watching a child discover new things daily is exciting. Helping a child to become an individual who wants to learn new things on his or her journey to adulthood is one of the most important things a parent could experience in life. I have not been able to give birth to a child but I have taken many years to ponder the reason I have not been blessed in that way. I have discovered that my destiny was to adopt a child. Giving birth to a child is not the only way a person can become a loving mother..."

Writing my biography took a long time. I needed to do quite a bit of soul searching to figure out what my motivations for adopting a child were. I needed to be able to say with an open heart and mind that I am choosing to adopt because I want to experience the good and bad times that often come with motherhood. For the people for are supporting me in this journey you truly do not understand of much I appreciate your prayers and positive words.

The Home Study has Started!

The Home Study will consist of interviews by a licensed social worker. These interviews will include a determination of my assets and my ability to provide for our child. At least one interview will happen at our home. They will be looking for safety hazards in addition to getting a general sense of how I live. I think this is a stressful time. The Home Study will take about 4-6 months to complete. I have started by putting together a ton of papers that are required. So I figure the Home Study will be completed around January.

The funny thing is that in all the adoption guides that I have read you should make sure your home is not too perfect. Well for anyone who knows Gerard this is going to be hard. If you ask Gerard if the child will put away his or her toys he immeidately answers "Of course, I put all my toys awayv when I was done with them." Then usually I start laughing a lot. This is the side of Gerard I love the best. He always can make me laugh.

He has spent the last 2 years fixing everything that could possibly be sighted in the Home Study. Anyone who saw our home before we changed everything understands what I am talking about. I know that everyone is still robably wondering why we moved from the other house. I am sure that this is part of many discussions. The facts are it was about money. I want to be able to finance this adoption without needing to take a loan. By moving I have accompished that goal. Plus I love my new house. I think I like it better then the other house with one exception no basement. Now we are just fighting with the grass. I keep telling him that he is not allowed to fertilize the grass because he is always using too much. The biggest discussion in our house is when to mow the lawn.

Starting the Journey

It is now official we have chosen an agency and put in the adoption application. For everyone who may not be familiar with International adoptions this is a very long process. An adoption could take as long as 24 months or more. During the next 24 months there are many different forms and interviews that need to be completed before Russia will allow me to adopt a child. From what I can tell there is 3 different parts of the adoption: Home Study, Dossier and Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS).

Picking an agency was very difficult. There are so many agencies that do International adoptions. The first step was to decide what country we were going to adopt from then we needed to pick an agency that could help us in our journey. The country that we decided to adopt from is Russia. The funny thing is that we have started to learn how to speak Russian. Learning to speak Russian is not as hard as it sounds. I have been listening to Russian CDs in the car on my way to work. I am hoping to find a class that will help me learn more of what I need to know. But have no fear I know how to ask Where is Red Square?

The excitement that I am feeling now is unexplainable. The stress of how I will manage all the details leading up to Gotcha Day is overwhelming. My hope is to use this journal to put my thoughts and feelings into words. As I start each portion of the adoption process I will post what the steps are for that portion of the adoption. At the end of the blog I hope to be able to list the things that I have completed so far.