More Documents Sent Out and Random Thoughts

Today I got a little more paperwork done for the second part of the dossier. I sent out my birth certificates, Residency Statement and Employment letter for the apostitles. Because I am not sure which region that I will be assigned to because the Dossier is still in the translation phase I made the decision to have both a New Jersey State police and a FBI criminal background check completed. I am 100% sure that I am jumping the gun for this and that I will have to redo these steps but it made me feel better to get them done today. So when I complain about having to redo these documents please remind me that it is my fault.

I finished my Cultural Diversity class today. One more down and 3 more to go. Actually I already started another one so only 2 more to go. I just can not wait to be done with this degree.

This is where my post will get a little sad so stop reading if you are already sad today. I insist. Today is the anniversary of my Father's death 11 long years. I miss him everyday. I have also turned another year older. My father did not want to die on my birthday so he waited a couple of extra hours. His death has affected so greatly. I often feel cheated that he is not here with me. I remember so many good things about him but unfortunately I am traumatized by his death and all the events that occurred directly after that time in my life.

My Father died a couple of months before I was to be married. I remember being so upset by his death and feeling so shocked that others could just go on as though this event never happened. I cancelled my wedding and I have not been able to move past that point of walking down the aisle without my Father. Gerard has been so understanding, wonderful and as supportive as he can be. I pray one day that I will be at peace with everything enough to marry him.

Please anyone that reads this post understand that I do reserve this day only to be sad about my Father's death. The rest of the year I celebrate life and all that life brings. I pray that next year will be completely different. The funny thing about this is Gerard keeps telling me that the little one will not understand why there is no birthday cake for Mommy so suck it up. He is right. I promise that next year there will be cake, presents and balloons. No tears allowed.
Here are some of my favorite pictures of us.


Here we are after I won a beauty pagent. Now that is some big hair!!



Jenny (My little Sister), My Father and Me! I look really good in a two piece!



Seeing him at work


This is the one I keep on my dresser.

Hmmm What is Different? About 18 Inches!

Okay no new adoption information. My dossier is still in the translation phase. Next week I am going to start my search for an account who will verify my assets, debts and income. Oh what fun? Because I am not assigned to a specific region as of yet I do not know whether or not I need a State Police Clearance or a FBI clearance. I will bet that I will need an FBI clearance but you know how international adoptions are so I was thinking about getting both. I figure it can not hurt. I know exactly what they will find so I am good to go. By the way I have a sparklingly clean record. Yah for me.

Know this brings me to the title of this post. Can anyone tell what is different? You guessed it I cut my hair. In total about 18 inches worth was donated to the Locks of Love organization. This is one thing about me that makes Gerard crazy he like my hair to stay long. I love however to donate the hair for others to use. So every couple of years I chop it off. By no means is my hair short now but in his mind it is very short. It took me a couple of days to get used to so that is the reason why I have not mentioned it.



Okay anyone that has read a little bit of this blog knows about my camera phobia, which by the way I think I am starting to get over. Some of my favorite posts on the blogs that I read are the ones that have pictures attached. It amazes me that people can take such beautiful pictures of their children because in my opinion I think it has to be pretty hard to get some of these great shots.

Dottie with her toes in the water

Because I have been trying to practice taking pictures and today was so beautiful I decided to take Dottie to the beach. The sun was shining and the temperature was close to 60 degrees. Now all of you who read this blog and are blessed with warm weather stop laughing at me that is really warm for New Jersey in March. Anyway I think I may be getting the hang of taking my own picture. Here are the results of the day.


Thinking about the day I will travel across the atlantic for my Little One!

No News But Lots of Shopping

Everything has been pretty quiet on the adoption home front. I am settling in with the idea that the dossier is in Moscow and being translated. I really do not expect to hear anything for a couple of months. During this whole process I have tried to set my sights on the worst possible case scenario. I have to say I have been pleasantly surprised each time I do this so I am just going to keep plugging along.

So you ask "what have I been doing because there are no new posts here on the blog." I have picked up so extra time at work to save a little bit of money. Then there is school, I have been able to keep up with that also; two more weeks and I have one more class done. What else hmmm let me see oh yes SHOPPING!

I do not know about anyone else but the sales this year have been great. I have gotten so many great buys on things that I will use. See I have been seeing Susan's therapist Mr. Kohls and he is just wonderful. I got a pair of Levis with the adjustable waist for 90 cents and a shirt to match for 60 cents. I found PJs for 1.75 so I got one is every size. I look at it this way I have it and it will cost me more when I am not working as much.

For some reason every time I bring something into the house for the baby Dottie goes crazy. She wages her tail, sniffs the bags up and down. I even found her trying on some of the clothes. I will leave you with the picture.



Fishing hat 25 cents. Dottie putting it on priceless.

Documents Received and Documents Sent

Yesterday I was out of the house at a training a seminar for the entire day then a second trip to Ikea and out to dinner with Am and Eddie (Sister and Brother-in-Law). I called to check in on Dottie and to let Gerard know that I was be home late. As everyone knows I wait for the mailman daily as does Dottie. I just happened to ask Gerard "Did you get the mail today?" He answered with "Yes I did and you got a package from the State of New Jersey"



You all know what that the package was the dossier is back and apostilled. So today I spent the day looking at all the documents. I pictured them, stacked them, wrote a check and sent them off to the agency. I figured it was best to not worry so much about them and send them off. What a relief to know that the dossier is on its way.



I have always loved the pictures of the apostilled documents. I just could not wait to be able to post this picture. According to the agency my dossier should be in Moscow by mid March. So I have set the time line for my referral. Compared to this time last year my life has changed completely. I was exploring which agency and country and know I am so close to a referral. All I can say is WOW.

My First Apostilled Document

Today I received my very first apostilled document. What a wonderful feeling knowing that I am well on way to getting through the paperwork. I had stressed so much over having the Psychological evaluation completed and now not only is it done but I can hold the proof in my hands. I have waited so long to be able to post one of these pictures.



When I look at other blogs I have noticed that wow I really have gotten nothing done for the baby's room. Yes I have a plan in my mind but I have not really taken any action to put that plan together. We do not have a crib or one picked out. I do not have a dresser or one picked out. I have not registered anywhere. I have picked out the bedding that I want to buy. I have looked around and I keep going back to the one that I picked.

So after listening to all my complaints about all the things that need to be done Gerard took matters into his own hands. He insisted that I pick things out for the office slash bedroom for my Mom. After that room is done then I will be able to get started on the Baby’s room. See Gerard is one of those people that will work on only one thing at a time. Gerard spent time this weekend in the attic putting down plywood and moving things up that I just can not part with yet. The running joke between us is go find a nice friend one with a strong back.

See we are in a weird position compared to other couples because we both work nights. I work 3-12 hour shifts 7 PM to 7:30 AM and he works 12 AM to 8 AM. We need to find child care but for the overnights. Regular child care is out because they just will not stay open all night. I bet that would be a great business.

So anyway my Mother is planning on staying overnight when we are not home. The funny thing is this will not be a temporary thing so we need to find a small semi-private place for my mother to stay while she is here. That place is my current office and sewing room.

We decided that we will put a daybed in the office and get rid of another piece of furniture. We bought two new nightstands one for office equipment and one for next to the daybed for my Mom to use. My friends have all told me that once the little guy gets sewing will be out for a while. I guess they are all right about that I hope I will be able to start again one day.



Oh before I forget, we got a great deal on an ottoman for the living room that opens up for storage. I figured this would be great as a toy chest for the little guy. This ottoman was just $32.00 at Bed, Bath and Beyond.





I am just waiting for my home study to be adjusted because we switched agencies and the I-171 approval letter. The home study should be finished hopefully by next week. Then we are done and it is off to Trenton to get the whole thing apostilled.

Just Finishing Up Paperwork

I know it has been a long time since I posted or at least it feels like a long time to me. I have been so busy with my sister and helping her with her new baby, breastfeeding and my other nephew Aristotle. I just got home last night. The baby and Mom are doing fine. My Brother-In-Law is very smart to just do what ever she says. Aristotle is doing very well too but I think he has figured it out that he is not the little King anymore. That is making my sister feel a little sad but they are all working through it. Aristotle just loves to be with his brother and that is so cute.

Okay now for adoption news. My coordinator has emailed me about some things that I need to send to her so that she can review them before I take them to be apostilled. I am so glad that they do this because I would hate to get their and find out that something was done wrong. So my plan for today is to finish this all up have everything notarized and scanned to her by the end of the week.

I am still waiting for my I-171 but I am not nearly as nervous as I was before. I figured that with the holidays it would not arrive much before February. I just realized that I took some time off from the adoption paperwork and did not realize it over the holidays. My stress level about it is much less then it was before. I am working on the fact that I think God has a much better plan for me then I could ever have dreamed up.

I have to say that after Christmas I did do a little shopping. I know that it is a little premature to buy a bunch of things for the baby but I did. I got the most adorable outfit for the Christmas season in a 3T. I also got three sweaters for next winter for 'The Boys' (Aristotle, Sloan and our baby). I want to get a picture of the three of them all dressed alike. The sweaters have are red (Aristotle's favorite color) and have a bi moose on them. I got a great deal on them because they were all 60% off at Kohls.


Christmas Outfit


Sweater Detail

Sweaters for the Boys

Sweater Detail

I am just assuming that I will be referred a boy and that makes my friend Geralyn laugh and tease Gerard about 'Our Daughter'. The thing is Geralyn is usually right. She has been so wonderful to me throughout this adoption process. Words can not express how she has helped and supported me throughout all the challenges that we have faced. She is a great person and a very dear friend. I do have a plan if I get a referral for a girl. I will just donate these cloths to either the orphanage or the Christmas giving program at my church so there is no problem.

I am the Ultimate Winner of Hide and Seek!

The Queen of Hide and Seek!

December the 18, 2007 was the day that I needed to have my fingerprints done for the USCIS. Let me paint the picture for you. The day was clear and sunny but a little cold. I woke up in plenty of time to get ready and take a self portrait before I left for Philadelphia. I live on the Jersey shore and the drive to Philadelphia from where I live is mostly done on rural roads. So I set out with a full tank of gas and a diet Pepsi.

The drive was mostly uneventful thanks to Map Quest. I have driven to Philadelphia a number of times and still manage to get lost in the city every time. I hit a little traffic and I started to worry that I was not going to be able to find parking. See the big joke is that I can not parallel park so I always use a lot.

I was about 30 minutes early for my appointment so I am thinking I have plenty of time to park and run so that I am not late. I turn down the street where the building was and what do my wandering eyes see but a beautiful parking lot across the street. I do a happy dance in my car. The man takes my keys parks the car and I head off to the building. I am thinking as I walk up this is too easy.

I get to the door and give it a yank and nearly throw out my shoulder because it is LOCKED! I start to panic and yes cry. This is probably the most amazing part for me because one of the causalities of being a nurse is that you have to suppress so much of those types of feelings just to make it through the day and work has been really ugly lately. I know I must have been a mess because Gerard who was in New Jersey even sounded worried and he never worries about things like this. He usually worries about things like “Why do my socks not match or is there enough cake for me to have a third slice?”

I ask a man on the street and he confirms that the address is correct but tells me they probably moved to one of the surrounding buildings. I walk completely around the building and find nothing. No forwarding addresses or telephone number. I find a Philadelphia police officer who was extremely nice and told me that if I get an address he will get me the directions (Big thanks to the men in blue you are all heroes). I walk into an adjacent building and the doorman hands me a paper that states the office moved to about 20 minutes away.

Dashing to my car with my cell phone in my hand I call Gerard (this is where the singing stops) thank god he knows how to get me home from everywhere and to anywhere. Gerard is my personal GPS. I go over the directions with him as I am driving and crying. I do finally get to where I need to be and I am 30 minutes late but they take me anyway. So the fingerprinting is done!

Gerard is funny most of the time about situations like these. He said "This was like a big game of hide and seek and you won. Don't they know nothing is going to come between you and your baby? They sure did mess with the wrong woman. You hunted them down like a blood hound. That's my Bozzie!"

The Tree is Up.

I have broken down and put up the tree. I love my Christmas tree. I remember when I first started collecting Christmas tree ornaments I was about 16 years old. I love to collect ones that speak to me or that have a meaning behind them. We have a bunch of Hallmark ornaments but this year the time is going so fast. I will only be able to put up one tree this year. Usually like Susan I have more then one tree.

Over the years I have sent out many Christmas cards and this year I am so behind. I have always sent them out signed Love Joy, Gerard and Dottie too. Well it occurred to me that some of these people have never met Dottie. They could be thinking she is a cat or a ferret or a bunny. I pray next year that I will be sending out Christmas cards with a new little one on it but somehow I think Dottie has been cheated so this year she will be featured on my Christmas card.



On adoption news I so glad that a number of families have either gotten a referral or will be traveling soon. I can barely sit still in excitement for them. This time next week I will have completed the fingerprints for the I-600 so that is moving right along and life is great. As soon as I get the I-171 I will be able to send my Dossier to Russia.

I got my Christmas Present Today

Well I know that I already posted once today but as luck would have it the mailman still comes to my house. Today I got my invitation to be fingerprinted by the Department of Homeland Security. On December 18, 2007 I will be at the Philadelphia office to be fingerprinted.

I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. It just seems like I have spent years waiting to be a mother and now the process is flying by. I have so many things that need to be finished before Little Bean comes home and I hope to get at least half of them done.

On a different topic and a bit of advice for others. I know that I am behind the times when it comes to technology. In the last couple of years I have not checked off the box for a CD of my pictures. What a fool I am. So yesterday I spent 4 hours at Wal-Mart scanning pictures on to one of those machines and I got a CD made for $2.47. This Christmas I am not planning on spending large amounts of money but giving things that are more meaningful instead. My sister Jenny and I went to Europe a couple of years ago and we never really did anything with the pictures. I burned all these pictures onto a CD and that will be her present this year. I hope she loves it.

Here are some of the pictures from that trip in May of 2002.

Some of my favorite quotes from this trip were:

"There is some bus involvement" Really there were days that we were on the bus for 8 hours
"Tower made of steel now lets go" Jenny hates heights but she made up the Eiffel tower anyway
The first chocolate cake was made in Austria Jenny's response "Now I see why they made a second"

I look bake now and see that this trip although trying at time was a wonderful experience for both of us.

Trial Run In Siberia

Christmas time is more then just buying presents for me. I know you are all saying but all you have talked about so far is what you have brought for Christmas. This past weekend I spent the day with a wonderful little man named Ricky. He is my cousin's son. My Aunt Cassie thought it would be nice to take him to the parade on LBI to start the Christmas season.

On LBI it was particularly cold on Saturday because of the western wind. Let me paint the picture for you all. My Mother, Aunt Cassie, Ricky and I set out to see the parade and drink hot coco. The funny thing is I usually do not wear a coat except when I am going to be outside for long periods of time. Saturday I decided this would be an interesting trail run for Siberia like weather with the wind chill it was well below zero (at least in my mind). We stood out there and watched the parade there were lots of antique fire trucks and cars. There were floats and marching bands in all it was a very nice parade of about 2.5 hours.

We really had a great time I got lots of nice pictures of Ricky and Santa as well. The funny part is we were frozen by the end of the parade. We had to cross the street to the car and I told Ricky run and the poor little man told me but my feet are asleep also know as frost nip. He was so good not one complaint out of him about the cold or the standing and this reminded me of one of the reasons why I want to be a mother. We had so much fun just anticipating the parade and the hot coco that it was worth the frozen feet. I love the Christmas Season.

P.S. Yes I did buy something for Little Bean while I was there. I love children's books so I got part one and two of A Gull's Story By Frank Finale both signed by the author. Part one is an ABC book and Part two is a 123 book about the Jersey Shore.

New video as Promised

Well, I know everyone already knows that I am a little computer illiterate. I have tried for a couple of days to upload some video of my day at the park with my sister Julie and my nieces. Well I have been very unsuccessful. I tried to upload it to the blogger site and to youtube and was unsuccessful in both areas. See I spliced together the video and I have a feeling that this could be part of the problem although I did it the same way I did the Sands Implosion.

I am determined to get this video uploaded because I feel that I need to be very good at this for future use. I am hoping that I will master this by the time I travel to Russia because as we all know it is very important to have a video history of where our children come from. I have always envied people who make it look so easy. I am trying to think of challenges like this one as a Parenting Prep Class. If my child is anything like me or Gerard then I will need 24 hour Parenting Prep Classes until he or she arrives.

I think the art of taking pictures and video should be covered somewhere when you become an adult. I hope and pray that with time I will improve and be able to just point, shoot, edit and view like it was second nature. When in reality I like Gerard do not like to have my picture taken or to be video taped. Pictures of me are rare. I know everyone is saying to themselves that there are a ton of pictures of her on this blog. Well let me tell you over the years I have become very camera shy.

I am sure that this has to do with the extra weight that I have put on over the years or it is from the fear of watching myself age. I think it might have to do with a disagreement that I had with a family member about childhood pictures. I just stopped taking pictures and stop posing for pictures. I am trying to get past all of that as best as I can. I have put this on my list of things I would like to change about myself along with about a million other things.

But back to pictures, I find that I am draw to the blogs that have the most pictures. These are the ones that I enjoy reading the most. So please excuse the fact that these videos are sideways I could not figure that part out. Spliced together they are really funny. I decided to make a video diary of everyone in the family while we are waiting for things to get done. This is still only part of the day. Maybe once I am able to figure out how to post a spliced video I will postvideo of everyone in my family and their thoughts about waiting for Little Bean.

Jaime is the master at this playground toy.




Jillian as Wilma Flintstone.




Jennica as Betty and Joy needing help to keep her pants up.




The quote of the day comes from Jillian "If you want to freak people out poop in the tub. It does it every time!"

Family Fun Time

Family and being with my family is very important to me. Some say that I put too much emphasis on family but I do not think so (at least most of the time). I love spending time with my nieces and nephews as well as my sisters. I think it is fair to say they make me a little crazy as I am sure that I make them a little crazy as well. I think that is what family is a about. I also think that worrying about a person is one way to show that you care about someone. I know that they probability worry about me as much as I worry about them. Gerard thinks I am crazy at time for worrying about everyone when in reality he worries about everyone too.

So this weekend I was able to spend time with my family this weekend. Jennica my niece was able to come down from Connecticut. I was so happy to see her because I usually only get to see her every couple of months. The trip is a long one to New Jersey.

So I was able to get some things checked off my list on Saturday. I think the stars are in alignment because I was able to get some pictures of all my nieces in one spot. This has not happened since 2001. When I look back at those pictures on the beach they all look so different. The biggest change has been to Little Joy (The Little Bozz). She has easily grown a couple of feet to become the tallest girl in the family.

I decided to take them all to Wal-Mart to get the family portrait done. I was lucky to get Eric (Jillian’s Husband) but unlucky to not get Greg (Jaime’s Fiancée). Unfortunately, we had no choice but to get it done on Saturday because Eric haVideo s to get back to Coast Guard school and then they are moving to Washington State. Greg was putting a roof on their house and I have to agree with Greg the roof was more important.

So after the portraits were done I came up with the idea to video tape everyone’s thoughts and feelings about Little Bean. So we went to the park in town. Well I have to say we got some really funny things on video and even funnier things when the video was off. In all the day was very fun and productive for me. I just want them all to know that they will be a big part of Little Bean’s life and thank you for putting up with my crazy demands for pictures and video. As Gerard says “You always want the most impossible pictures.” Well Gerard you are right and I got them and here they are.

Random pictures at the park of the Girls and Eric

I hope be able to upload the videos to the blog either tomorrow or the next day. So there is more of this day to come.