Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Why blog?

For the past couple of weeks I have felt too rushed to blog. I find this amazing because usually when I am the most busy is when I have blogged the most. I love F@cebook but at time I think it interferes with blogging. I may take a few steps back from F@cebook for a while. It is a very hard thing to do because I find checking FB is a habit not necessarily a good habit.

On the other hand I do think that blogging is a good habit. I have been reminded over the past two weeks of so many reasons why I am blogging. The first is to be an inspiration for other to adopt. I was asked by my friend Sarah the other day if I would adopt again. I think even I was surprised by my answer. Which was yes. No we are not in the process of adopting again or is it something that we even have talked about but the scares of waiting and worrying have diminished so much that I think it would be okay to adopt again. I think my expectations would be different somehow or maybe not.

So the other day I was picking Anna up from school and I was listening to talk radio. This is something that I do if I think the conversation sounds interesting. I had heard the word adoption so I was intrigued. The person was an author who talked about her 4 failed adoptions and the pain that it caused her. What I found to be most interesting is that at the end of the show she relieved that in fact she had a successful adoption and that her pain had been lessened. She spoke about how writing her story helped her as I think it helped me as well.

Anna is still having a hard time with the triplets. She cries if the car even starts to drive in their direction. She has learned to tolerate the empty car seat that I have in my car. She tells me that she does not like them, my Mother or Aunt Jenny anymore. I know this is hurting my sister and my Mother very much. My Mother actually asked if she has done something wrong to make her feel this way. On nights that I work Gerard was dropping her off in the morning. She has started to question where she is going now which is so different. I do know that this is a phase and a period of adjustment is needed. I am so thankful that my sister is so understanding.

What Anna seems to be so upset about is when the babies cry and how they smell. Not the stinky smell but the smell of the lotion. Now I know that you all must think that it is a crying nightmare at my Mother's house with three babies but honestly they do not cry at all. I do think that seeing her care for so many babies at once has triggered something inside her. I think we are fortunate that the babies that we are around William (Sarah's baby) and the Girls (Jenny's babies) are all well taken care of. I love that both Sarah and Jenny are so tuned into their babies needs that they almost never cry.

What I think has been particularly good for Anna is seeing how loving Julia, Nate and Gabe are towards William (Sarah's older daughter and nephews). I see a difference in how Anna reacts towards the girls after we have spent time with them.

I know this is way too long and I am sorry. I got a new cellular phone the other day. The store clerk was able to recover my pictures and videos. I could not imagine how sad I would have been to loose them. So Anna was flipping through the pictures and somehow connected to the pictures on the blog. She was amazed at the pictures that I had of her. I love that my journey with her has been documented even though there are many spelling errors and poor grammar.

So I am back on the saddle again.



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Joy, I don't know how much the babies cry, but I suspect that your tolerance for crying is probably extremely high, considering yout occupation. I know mine is. Kathy C.

Ms. Elaine said...

Glad you are back!

www.adventureswithaidan.org said...

Glad you're back! Do you think Anna is upset because it may be triggering memories? Aidan has some small triggers too and it hurts me when we need to work through them. But, he always comes out the other side smiling.

Missed you!!

Nancy said...

That's great that you got to meet another family who will be at the reunion!

I struggle with blogging..I like to do it as our family's digital scrapbook, but I think my family relies on it as a one-way communication tool and our phone calls and visits suffer.

I'm sorry that Anna gets upset by the babies...