Dottie

Most of you who have read this blog for a while will know that my doggie is my first baby. Last year I became very concerned because she started to get sick. Dottie is a pretty spunky needy loving puppy. Yes even though she is almost 9 years old I still call her my puppy.

Last year I was told that she has congenitally small kidneys for her breed and a dog of her size. What does this mean? Well basically this means that she is not able to filter the toxins out of her blood well. Her kidneys dump protein and as many of you know protein is needed by humans as well as dogs to stay healthy. For Dottie the amount of protein that she can tolerate and still remain healthy is a very delicate balance.

In an attempt to keep her as healthy as possible she was put on a diet of pasta and cottage cheese which although it is work and actually a little pricey I do not mind for the most part. Okay I have not been really good about making her dog food in the past couple of months I would mix in regular dog food about half of the time but she has seemed good until last week.

May has never been a great month for her and her allergies. So I usually make her wellness appointment for the end of May beginning of June. Last Friday was her appointment. I came prepared with my urine and stool sample and they laughed and told me that I needed her urine and stool sample (Okay I am just trying to lighten this up a bit). Her blood was drawn as well.

I have gotten back the results and they are not good. Her BUN level is 65, creatitine level is 4.5 with 4+ protein in the urine and she is still anemic. So what does that mean? If she were a human we would be considering dialysis and blood transfusions but she is not. The plan for now is that her diet will change again and I am guessing it may be a bit more complicated. I am hoping it is something that I can make a large batch of and freeze.

So of course my concern is tell me what to look for because I will NEVER let her suffer in order to save me from feeling sad about losing her. You have to understand she is my baby, my sidekick and the one who is always next to me. So he told me to expect her to stop eating and drinking could be a couple of days could be a couple of months. Currently she has times were she goes a day without eating because she just does not feel well. Give her Pecid for the vomiting which is coming and going from time to time also.

I will be upset if she stops eating while I am in Russia. She really does not do well when I am gone for more then 3 days. She just waits by the door or sits on whoever's lap is available, keep in mind she is not small about 50 lbs, so the lap sitting is hard for those who are not use to this. Usually this is Gerard's Father's job and quite honestly I think he loves it.

As sad as this post may sound and I am sad at the thought of losing her I do think that this is God's plan and I will not be surprised if she goes more quickly. Even though Dottie is not aggressive I have worried how she would be with a little one walking around. I am trying to prepared myself for what will come and enjoy every minute that I have with her. I hope to get some more cute pictures of her with Gerard and I.

Guess what I got....

Made you look! I am so childish, really I'm sorry. No not a court date but I have a feeling one is on the horizon because as my Mother would say "A little blue bird told me so...." This would be what she would tell us when we were children and would wonder how she would know something that we thought she did not know. I can remember sitting there thinking how is that possible we are indoors.

Her other favorite saying was when we were crying she would give us a cup and tell us to collect the tears for the fishes. I do remember sitting on the floor trying to cry and catch the tears. Usually the tears would stop pretty fast. Wow and I off topic.

I got in the mail my new and improved I-171. My other I-171 expired on July 17. I was pretty sure that I would not make it to the U.S. Embassy before before then so I applied back in the end of April for an extension. Yesterday I got my new one in the mail. Yeah for me!!

I could not be happier today, really I know that sounds crazy but life is good and I am way less worried then I have been. Prayers are being answered believe me.

Week 15 is OVER!!!!!

For some reason I feel better that week 15 is over. Not that this was a bad week actually is has been a pretty good week but now in my mind I have reached a new milestone I am starting WEEK 16. Now from reading other blogs I have seen that this is where the wait for a court date starts to ramp up a notch. What I mean by this is that most fellow adopter start to hear news of a court date around this milestone also know as 4 month, 16 weeks, 112 days, 6720 hours, 403,200 minutes, only 24,192,000 seconds approximately.

I love the way that sounds and I am smiling as I write this post. I laugh every time I put the word only in from of something like that. In my mind it always makes it sound better. So I think this will be my new standard answer when someone asks me how long I have waited and laugh. Try the only trick sometime you will laugh.

Where is the letter G

Last night was my first night back to work since I broke my arm. I forgot how hard it can be to stay up all night long and here is the proof. We had a problem with a name crossing over from one computer to another. This is not an uncommon thing that happens so I know the drill. You call Bud and he fixes the problem.

I got my dialing finger out and called up Bud, yes his name is really Bud. I read off a list of names last then first. Here is an example of the names (Last names changed to protect their privacy)

Me: "Smith Daniel, Smith Danielle, Smith Erin. See Smith Girl is not listed!!"

Bud: "Joy we usually list them in alphabetical order so check farther down the list where the G's start." Honestly he said while laughing at me.

Me: "Oh there she is! I'm sorry I forgot where the letter G was located. Fine if you want to list them that way:-)"

Bud: "Joy if you are forget where any other letters are located call me back I might be able to help!"

Being off has been hard on my brain. Now I hang up the phone and my friends at work are on the ground laughing. They were uncontrollable. We laughed about it for the rest of the night.

I probably should not post this in case someone in Russia reads this because how will they approve me to be her Mother if I do not know my ABC's. I better start to practice the song again. I wonder if that is a question I will be asked in court?

**I promise pictures of the room are coming.

The room is painted

The room transformation has started! I have to tell you this past week all of a sudden I felt like I needed to get her room together. The room that I have chosen for her is the smallest bedroom in the house but the closest one to my bedroom and the spare bath.

I thought initially that I would leave her room the soft butter yellow that it was originally painted but after closer inspection I could see that the walls needed to be freshened up. I feared that I would not be able to physically paint the room. I'm the painter he is not. Actually he would rather do anything that paint.

So the other night in an attempt to limit extra work I wanted to pick out the right color the first time. See my painting theory is if you do not like the color the first time then just re-paint it, who cares. Eventually you will find the right color. But because of my arm I wanted it right the first time.

I picked out 3 different colors: cream, silver green and mint green. In the store I liked the mint green the least but I still thought it might look nice. So I made a story board of the 3 colors and the one that I thought I would like the most (silver green) I actually liked the least. The one that I thought I would like the least (mint green) I like the most. Lets face it the cream is beautiful but as my sister would say it is a safe color. She has all her life to have a cream room. As my nieces say white is not a color and that cream is really close to white.

Let the painting begin. I was able to cut in everything and roll out the 2 small walls. Gerard, as much as he dislikes to paint, painted the 2 big walls. I am hoping to get time to touch up some of the trim. I'm making progress.

Funny Things Happen at T@rget

The funniest things happen in T@rget. The other day I was in T@rget looking at a registry and so one walks up and asks me 'Where do I find draw pulls?' Good thing I know T@rget like the back of my hand.

A couple minutes later someone else walks up and asks about something else but I had no idea where the idem was located. I got a pretty funny look and the person walked away ticked off. I was thinking WOW that is rude.

So now I am in the aisle collecting everything that I wanted and I get a tap on the shoulder. Again someone was asking where something was located. I kept thinking this is crazy do I have a sign on my back saying 'Ask me!' Well I guess I did. I looked down and saw that I was wearing the token red shirt and tan pants.

So last night when I went for my weekly I mean every other day trip to T@rget I was again minding my own business looking at new dishes. This woman walks up to me and says 'Your a Mother. What do you think about these for a teacher gift?'

It was so matter a fact that she thought I was a Mother that it felt a bit odd. We started to talk a bit about what would be a good teacher gift. I did not tell her that I really am not a mother yet. But by the end of the conversation I felt better about the thought that I did not tell her that I am not really a true mother yet or am I?

On paper sometimes things appear so neat and clean. Once the court says that I am her Mother that is it I am her Mother at least on paper. When will I know her cry, her favorite things to eat or whether or not she sleeps with or without a blanket. I know the answer...time. I wonder when the day will come that I will only feel like her Mother not a part-time pretender.

Today she turns 21 months old.

I did remember!

I remember a number of years ago the first Father's day after my Father died I worked all day and was a bit sad. I came home from work and Gerard had ordered Chinese food for me to eat. I sat on the floor at the coffee table eating my rice and I started to cry. He looked at me and was a afraid to ask why I was crying because he already knew the answer. He sat there and watched me cry and told me that everything would be okay one day.

I can remember sitting there thinking I will never be able to celebrate another Father's day or any other holiday for that matter without him. I will say most holidays are very hard for me especially my birthday. Gerard has missed out to some degree because of my lack of participation in holidays. He has told me that with Little Banana coming all that will change. It seems funny and a bit out of character that I really do not participate in holidays or birthdays for that matter.

My first Mother's day was hard spending it without Little Banana and with a cast instead. But Gerard made sure I had a card and a flower too. I have been a bit nervous that I would miss Father's Day just because my brain does not think that way. Have no fear I did not forget! I had a hard time finding the right card but I did manage to get the perfect one. I also found this great little board book titled 'Where is Daddy?' You can even put a picture in the spot for the daddy. So I thought it was perfect. I am sure that he will love it.