The Paperwork has Changed!

If you are adopting with CHI and are in the middle of preparing your Dossier I am sure that I am not the first one to tell you the paperwork has changed. It seems to me that CHI is trying to what is right for both the Russian Government what is right for the adoptive parents. CHI has reduced the number of papers that are needed to register the Dossier. This does not mean that the other papers do not need to be filled out. It just means that they will be filled out closer to the time of travel.

For those of you reading this blog this may sound a little confusing. So I am going to try to explain it the best way that I can. The Dossier is a large file full of different papers. Some papers state the reason why we want to adopt while others give the adoption agency the right to speak on my behalf. All the papers in the Dossier need to be notarized and apostilled by the state of New Jersey before they can be registered in Russia. These last 2 steps cost money. The documents in the dossier may only be good for 3-6 months so if we do not receive a referral and our documents expire we have to redo them and spend more money to have them notarized and apostilled. The number of documents needed went from 22 to 12.

Because the number of documents needed to register the Dossier has been reduced we will spend less money when we have to redo these documents in upcoming months. People who know me well know that I have to waste money. Each time I save a little more money I think this is time that I can stay home once little Bean is here.

So here is where my paper chase stands right now. I need a copy of the I-171H from the INS, a new birth certificate and the final home study report with all related documents. The other documents are done and waiting to be sent to CHI for review prior to being apostilled. The birth certificate I will get tomorrow and I will call the home study agency to see how far along we have gotten on the final report. So the time has come to hurry up and wait.

Honestly, I am enjoying the wait so far. This wait has given me time to think about the things that I need to do and the things that I want to do before the Little Bean comes home. I know that one of these days I will complain that the wait is too long and I hope that someone reminds me that 'good things come to those who wait.' I pray to be a patient waiter. I think the hardest wait will come between the first and second trip. I hope that I am able to work everyday in between to help take my mind off the wait.

An Example of a Great Mom

Well,
I sorry that I have not posted in a couple of days that was not my intension. I intended for this heading to be about my mother but I am sure that she will understand. There are so many great moms out there and I wanted to share this with you. We have had a death in the family and I offered to help during the last couple of days. My services were not needed because God called her home first. This woman was one of the strongest people I have ever met. I did not know her well. She was my Sister-in-Law's (Ann-Marie) Mother-in-Law (J). I will only give you a couple of small facts about what little I knew of her. I will not be mentioning certain people by name because I have not asked there permission.

J was a woman that knew what was important. She strongly encouraged her children to stay together as a family. See J was a single mother not by her choice. Her husband died many years ago. I never knew him personally but only through stories that her sons B (Her oldest son) & Eddie (My brother-in-Law) told me about him. I know in my heart that I would have loved to have just met him once.

Education was important to J. This was one of J's things that she tried her best to instill into her 4 boys. She did everything to ensure that her boys got not a good education but a great education. She managed to put all her boy through private school by making personal scarifies. She stood by her boys even if they were wrong (That is not to say that they did not hear about what they needed to change). Eddie told me about how when he was considering quitting school. She started back to school after many years in an effort to be the best example that she could be to him. Wow that must have been very hard for her to do.

The other thing that was very important to J was her religion. From what Eddie has told me she was the type of person who welcomed everyone into her home. Advice was given if it was needed. Her faith was something I guess helped to guide her through times of sorrow and times of joy. She believed in God and from what I understand tried to live a good life.

J will be missed by her boys greatly. Things are emotionally hard for this family right now but I know that with prayer and time the pain will ease. Please include her and her boys in a small prayer tonight they need it.


This not only Gerard's Childhood Church but J's church as well.
Saint Thomas Aquinas, Brooklyn, New York

I Have a Love Affair With Ebay

I was on EBay and some of my favorite things to shop for are things for little bean's room. Please keep in mind that I love everything old and well worn. One of my friend's (Craig's wife) was absolutely hysterical when I showed her one of the prints that I plan to put into little bean's room. Now stay with me a moment. I want the room to reflect the cottage feel that the rest of my house has but I also want to put only the most special things into this space (Like Little Bean).

My father was in construction. Unfortunately, he has passed on many years ago. Even though he loved me and my sisters very much I am sure that he would have enjoyed having a boy around to do the boy thing with. Because we have not made a preference as to what gender we want CHI has pretty much told me that we will get a boy. I want my father to have a small place of honor in my little bean's room.

I also plan on honoring Russia and Gerard's heritage as well. Gerard is from Brooklyn. The running joke between us is that his favorite team remains to be the Brooklyn Dodgers. For those of you who do not follow baseball this team has not existed for many years. But that does not stop me. I got him this picture for his birthday one year. It was very funny at the time. He keeps trying to explain to me that this team no longer exists but I tell him "You’re wrong!" This is a phrase that I use when ever he gets up tight. I state a fact that is not actually a fact but completely made up. Then I insist that he is wrong. It usually makes him just laugh.

Brooklyn Dodgers (Gerard's Favorite Baseball Team)

So in comes EBay. I thought it would be nice to have a map of Russia or the world in Little Bean's room. I started to look on EBay and found two beautiful maps and an old map/print of a bunch of famous buildings from around the world. I think because of my father I enjoy seeing how things are made and enjoy the beauty of old buildings. I was instantly drawn to this print the most. The funniest thing was Craig's Wife's reaction. After she saw it she walked around for about 3 hours and said "Oh No! You do not have to have Winnie the Pooh but I am putting my foot down NO!" Thinking about her reaction has just made me laugh harder each time.


See Craig's wife knows how I feel; she went through hell and back to have her children and they mean the world to her. She has been an inspiration, a sounding board, the voice of reason and a good friend through all of this. I think that I will have to put the picture up anyway but every time I see it I will think about my father and the fact that he is not here to share this special time in my life (That is the sad part). I will also think about Craig's Wife and how she makes me laugh even when I am sad (That is the happy part). So here are my new acquisitions from EBay and I love them. All three are over 100 years old.
Quirky yes but priceless.


Map of Denmark (This is where my Father was born)

Map of Russia (Where Little Bean was born)

You Have No Idea How Long We Have Waited!

You have no idea how long we have waited! Now before you glance over this post as me being a whining baby give me a minute first. I was at a delivery the other day and this is what the father said to me. He had tears in his eyes. This man you could tell was not the crying in public type but more of the I can handle anything type.

For those of you who do not know in the world of labor and delivery and babies being born if the nursery nurse comes to the delivery it is generally not a good thing that means that there is usually someone in danger mostly the baby. So I was at the delivery of this little boy; I will spare you the gory details the child had issues I will leave it at that. The love that this father felt for this child just about knocked me out; He was tender to his wife and new son while trying to ask all the important questions that he knew were both difficult and necessary. This man was a good father from the start of his child's life. I can see many of the same qualities that this father had in Gerard plus many more.

Then I started to think about my own little bean. I am imagining that he or she is born and I pray that the birth is a joyous one not one filled with tension or issues. I feel like I am a little out of control with this feeling because if I were to get pregnant and give birth unlike many others I know the routine and the subtle things that are said when there is a problem.

I hope and pray that Little Bean's birth father is there hold the birth mother's hand and helping her through this difficult time. I hope that Little Bean's birth parents are the best parents in the world to him or her until they give little bean to me. Sometimes being the best parents in the world is acknowledging that adoption is the best alternative for a child. I do not know why I am thinking about the birth parents so much today but I am.

I usually tell parents that a baby is everything that is good and wonderful about both the Mom and the Dad. I guess once Little Bean is here I am going to have to add everything that is good about the ones that made your life possible too your birthparents. I have been praying for a long time to have a child either through birth or adoption I will add in these prayers the birth families because it is the right thing to do.

Checking Things Off the List

Well, I have been very busy working on the list of things needed for the Dossier. My hope is to be done with the Dossier by the 2nd week of October. I finally feel like I have gotten a handle on the paperwork. Yesterday I sat down and made a list of things that I still need. I read in Susan's blog however that there may be some changes to what paperwork is needed so I may be closer then I think.

My Social worker told me that she would send a rough draft to my coordinator in New York of my home study first so that she could review it for the content to make sure that everything that I need is there. I have to say this is the one thing about CHI that I love the most. Honestly, she could just wait until it was all done and then tell me that it needs to be redone. By Susha reviewing the paperwork for content and form first it takes the guess work out of it.

Working the night shift is both good and bad. I am able to be home everyday but some days I feel more sluggish then others. I plan to go to bed right after Gerard goes to work tonight in the hopes of getting up early (About 10:00am). Because we both work the nightshift our schedules can be a little crazy.

Sundays are usually the hardest because we tend to keep that for the extended family. After the family leaves it is too late to go any where or to get anything done because everything closes. I guess it is a good thing.

So now I have this list to complete:
Copies of Driver's License
Passport Pictures for visas
New Birth certificates
Doctor's appointment on Tuesday
New letter from my job (the notary expires in April so the document is no good after that)
Get Blood work
Fax everything to Susha
Have all the documents notarized
Send out Dossier
This list seems pretty do able compared to the initial list.

Who's your Daddy?

Well, I could say many different things about Gerard. We have been together for 17 years. Gerard is an Electrician who works for a casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey and has his own business on the side. He has mostly done only commercial electrical work. It seems that he is always working. Gerard is one of the most goal orientated people that I have ever met. He is criticized for working so much but what many of his critics do not know is that he wants me to be able to stay home at least part-time for the first year. He is making sacrifices that many would not even consider to be an option.

Gerard comes from a perfect family of four; there is Chippy (his father), Mommybird (his Mother), Gerard and Am (his younger sister). They all grew up in Brooklyn, New York. Gerard however is so not a city boy. His family was lucky enough to have a summer home at the Jersey shore where he stayed every summer and on most weekends. After he graduated he lived in Brooklyn and worked in the city for a couple of years. He decided to move to New Jersey to his parent's summer home because the commute to Manhattan from Brooklyn was the same as if he left from the shore. That is when we met.

He loves to fish, Jet Ski and goof around on the boat. The one thing that he loves the most about living here is that it is much quieter then in Brooklyn. For him it is painful to have to go to the city. Gerard is a shy quiet person. Sometimes this gets mistaken for being stern or uninterested. This is so far from the truth. Gerard is very camera shy. I think over the last 17 years I only have about 10 good pictures of him. That is it. As a result of his shyness to cameras I stopped trying to take pictures of him. I have told him that he will just have to figure it out and get over it once the baby is here. He just laughs at me.

As I mentioned in a previous post Gerard has a little OCD. That just makes him quirky. That is one of the things that I love the best about him. Because he will not let me post a picture of him I will just describe him to you.

He says he is 5 foot 10 inches but I say he is 5 foot 9.5 inches (Just to mess with him). He weights 163 lbs and is a muscular build. He is one of those people that if he stopped eating carbohydrates for one day he would lose 3-4 pounds. He has dark brown hair that he loves to keep short (no gray hair yet just wait till the little bean comes). The one thing that his family has always told him is "just wait until you are over 35 your waist will just expand." Well he can lovingly say they are all wrong. Still the same 32 inch pants from when he was 18 (Don't you hate that). He has a five o'clock shadow about 10 minutes after he shaves (This drives him crazy) but I like it.

Gerard is the King of nicknames. I am not sure if I mentioned it but everyone has a nickname even some of the people that I work with. There is the Talker, the Quiet one, Craig's wife; those are my weekend girls. If he does not have a nickname for one of my friends then he calls them by their first and last name. None of his names are mean (at least he does not think so) just funny. He has only called me by my name once other then that I am the bozz or bozzie.

It was not until our nieces and nephews were older did they realize that he never call any of them by their names. Now teasing him is their main goal in life. When I introduce each family member to the blog I am hoping to have a picture along with their nickname. It is easier to keep track of them that way.

When he comes home from work everyday the first thing out of his mouth is not "Hi' or "What's for dinner" it is "Oh Dottie, Dottie, Dottie did you miss me. Mommy did not pet you at all today did she?" There you have it he loves his dog. I will try to slip on a couple of pictures every once and a while.

A Little bit about Little Bean's Home

My first house was a funny experience. I was only a nurse for about 2 weeks when I decided to buy a house. Gerard and I looked around at many different places and decided on a beautiful townhouse. Once again 20 years old, RN, a homeowner and could not buy the champagne. This house was perfect and I ended up living there with Jackie and Jenny 2 of my sisters for about 9 years. Towards the end both of them moved out and Julie (one of my other sisters) and her children moved in with me. That is when I really decided that I wanted to be a mother. So I sold the townhouse and built a huge 2 story colonial house with a full basement. This house was about 3 times bigger then the townhouse and although I picked out everything it never seemed like a home to me. Luckily for me house prices went up and I sold the house to buy a small ranch.

This house was nicknamed the stinky house. We left the windows open for months. The people who had it before us were drug dealers and the house although it was only 4 years old needed everything to be redone. Everybody that came into the house could not understand what I loved about this house. The inside of the house was painted shades of chocolate, lemon yellow, barn red, hunter green and tan but the paint was everywhere. The people before us had cats (10 of them) a dog, a bird and a fish. It was like the Cat and the Hat lived here. The house smelled badly. They all thought that we had made a big mistake. This house is about 1400 square feet less then half the size of the other house but I love it. Any bigger and I would not be able to clean it. We have a nice yard on a quite street that is close to the Parkway. For those of you who do not live in New Jersey that is how you describe where you live close to the Parkway or far from the Parkway. My commute to work has dropped by about 10 minutes because of the move. Gerard’s commute has improved as well because of the move.

I think I am just more comfortable in a smaller house. Plus now it smells much better.
The little bean's room is very close to our room. It seems to be the perfect size for a child. More about the little bean’s room in another post. The house has 3 bedroom a large living room and dining room. We added a hot tub and large deck for parties.

Another reason why we moved was to be able to afford the adoption. Becoming a mother is my goal. I could live in a huge house drive the best cars and vacation 4 times a years but that is not what will make me happy. I want to share my life with a child.