Things I Want to Do When Little Bean Comes Along

I love lists. I know many of you who know me well may not believe that but I do. When I make a 'to do' list I may keep it for many days, months or years. I find this is one way to keep myself on track. There are so many things I want to do, places I want to go and things I want to see. So keeping a list is one of the things I do to help keep me on track. I do not want to be that person who said I wished I had done that or I could never find the time to do that. So I keep a list crazy you might think but I have a hard time remembering everything that I want to do or be in this one short life.

So today when I was checking things off my list I thought making a list of things that I want to do once Little Bean comes home could be a good thing. So while I was thinking about this post today I thought I will never be able to put in to words all the things that I want to do once the baby comes home. So I made another decision. This list will be an on going list. One I can add to over the years and change as the situations present themselves.

Things I want to do with Little Bean

1. Oh course bring him or her home is the first on the list.
This is a day that I have anticipated for many years. There was a point in time when I thought I did not want to have children. I am being honest. I thought that life was hard enough without having to take care of another person. Sometimes I feel so drained by my job and family responsibilities. This has changed. I could not tell you exactly when it changed but it did.

When I realized that I wanted a child at first I longed to have a child who looked just like Gerard. I can say there have been many days when I cried over not being able to have that dream. Over the last couple of years I have worried about not being pregnant or having a child at all. One day it hit me I want to be a mother not necessarily pregnant. That is when it hit me that adopting was what God had in store for me. God does want me to be a mother and I know that because he has given me everything that I have needed in order to adopt. I do not like to say that the road so far has been easy because it has not. I have had to deal with many different family issues that surround me adopting a child from Russia but the funny thing is these issues have been other people's issues not mine and not Gerard's. For that I am grateful.

Well this post is much longer then I initially intended for it to be. As the days, months and years go by I will add to this list. So unfortunately for anyone reading this blog you will probably be bored to tears and email me to please stop and save the world from destruction due to boredom. I apologize now for all the up coming painful posts.