No Adoption News--Just My Thoughts

I have to say this week has been a good week. I have not heard anything but somehow I get the feeling that my time is not too far away. I can say that I before many of my blogger friends got the call I would get a weird feeling that the call was coming.

Okay Now do start thinking I am too weird but I really have felt that way and yes I know that each of us are going to get a call. So any way I have that feeling again but this time it is even more strong then it has ever been.

I have read so many wonderful posts lately. I think that sharing the feelings that we are each feeling at different points in this journey has been really helpful for me. I think next week I am really going to sit down and make an honest list of things that I need to do before the call comes. I find that I work so much better from a list.

So here is my list of lists that I need to make

1. Things to do before the call
2. Things to buy for the room
3. Things to pack for trip one
4. Things that need to be copied to take with me
5. General things to do list

And I am sure that I will find a whole lot more to put on this list once I am done with the list. One thing that I have decided is I think I am going to take a small vacation maybe even use a PTO day. For those who know me that is a big deal. I have been saving them for when the Little one comes but I think a little rest and relaxation is in order. Plus the weather is getting to nice to be cooped up in the house.

Things to do with Little Bean # 2

The second most important thing that I would like to do with Little Bean is introduce him or her to the Christian faith. Having a solid belief in Jesus Christ is one are best things that could happen to a person. As a mother I understand the responsibility that I have to my child to make sure that Little Bean is exposed to religious teachings.

I grew up in a family who has always believed in Jesus Christ. As a child I was not brought up in any particular faith. My father was Episcopalian and my mother Catholic. My parents decided early that we (meaning my younger sister and I) would not receive formal religious studies or receive our sacraments until we were old enough to choose which religion we wanted to be a part of. I celebrated the Christian holidays and lived the best way I knew how to as a child into adulthood. I know my mother was always upset that this is what was agreed upon but she kept her word to my father at least that is the way I see it.

As an adult I made the choice to become a Catholic. I think this was a natural choice for me because even though the choice was mine to make. I pretty much only knew the Catholic faith. I remember many years ago when Gerard and I first met he told me 2 things. The first was that he would know if I was the one in about 3 months and the second thing was that if I was the one I needed to receive my sacraments in a Christian faith. This was one of the things I loved about him the minute that he said it. He knew that I wanted to make these sacraments and that it was important to me to raise a family with these beliefs.

So I am proud to say Gerard and I started dating in August of 1990 and I received my sacraments in April of 18, 1992 at Saint Francis of Assisi. My child will receive the same sacraments as I did in the same church as I did. Just the thought of this gives me a warm feeling inside.

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Things I Want to Do When Little Bean Comes Along

I love lists. I know many of you who know me well may not believe that but I do. When I make a 'to do' list I may keep it for many days, months or years. I find this is one way to keep myself on track. There are so many things I want to do, places I want to go and things I want to see. So keeping a list is one of the things I do to help keep me on track. I do not want to be that person who said I wished I had done that or I could never find the time to do that. So I keep a list crazy you might think but I have a hard time remembering everything that I want to do or be in this one short life.

So today when I was checking things off my list I thought making a list of things that I want to do once Little Bean comes home could be a good thing. So while I was thinking about this post today I thought I will never be able to put in to words all the things that I want to do once the baby comes home. So I made another decision. This list will be an on going list. One I can add to over the years and change as the situations present themselves.

Things I want to do with Little Bean

1. Oh course bring him or her home is the first on the list.
This is a day that I have anticipated for many years. There was a point in time when I thought I did not want to have children. I am being honest. I thought that life was hard enough without having to take care of another person. Sometimes I feel so drained by my job and family responsibilities. This has changed. I could not tell you exactly when it changed but it did.

When I realized that I wanted a child at first I longed to have a child who looked just like Gerard. I can say there have been many days when I cried over not being able to have that dream. Over the last couple of years I have worried about not being pregnant or having a child at all. One day it hit me I want to be a mother not necessarily pregnant. That is when it hit me that adopting was what God had in store for me. God does want me to be a mother and I know that because he has given me everything that I have needed in order to adopt. I do not like to say that the road so far has been easy because it has not. I have had to deal with many different family issues that surround me adopting a child from Russia but the funny thing is these issues have been other people's issues not mine and not Gerard's. For that I am grateful.

Well this post is much longer then I initially intended for it to be. As the days, months and years go by I will add to this list. So unfortunately for anyone reading this blog you will probably be bored to tears and email me to please stop and save the world from destruction due to boredom. I apologize now for all the up coming painful posts.