Anna sad!

The other day Anna came home from school and she seemed a little off. Her teacher said that she did not eat much at breakfast/snack or lunch. Usually when that happens I watch her eating a little closer. I find that Anna usually does not tell me if she is hungry. There have been the rare occasions when she will tell me "Hungry." Those times are very infrequent however.

When Anna first came home food was a big issue for her and for me. Anna refused to eat. I refused to not worry. I remember a day when Anna ate 1 saltine cracker and less then 4 ozs of juice for the whole day. I worried about her intake and still do. Anna actually lost close to 2 lbs when she first got home. In the past year I have done my best to not worry and just let her eat. I am proud to say that Anna is now up to 27.1 lbs.

I now know that Anna is hungry because rather then asking for food she acts out. Usually she becomes what I call a little fresh. At times she will even throw her favorite toys. I offer her a snack or bottle and she is like a new person.

I prepared a snack right away but Anna did not want to eat. Here is the part I was not prepared for...Anna busted out into tears and said "Anna sad!" Then she cried out "I want Daddy. Anna sad! Anna sad!" Oh boy I this is a bridge that we have never crossed before. I asked her if she wanted to lay on Daddy's bed with one of his shirts. She told me "Yes" with tears streaming down her face. Then I laid with her and gave her a bottle of Kefir. She snuggled into me and her Daddy's shirt drank her bottle and just settled down. About 20 minutes later she looked at me and said "Anna not crying...Anna Happy."

I called Gerard and he came home as soon as he could. She played with him and hugged him non-stop. Seeing her love him is so heart warming.

This is really the first time that Anna has used her words to express her emotions of being sad. I know that somewhere inside her she may be feeling the loss of her birth parents and the loss of leaving her baby home. She seems fine now but I think we will be talking to her more about her being sad. I want her to know that it is okay to be sad. Processing all these emotions are difficult.

I could never imagine the pain that some children who have difficulty attaching and bonding with their parents feel. I am blessed that these moments are very few for now. My thoughts and prayers go out to all who are struggling with attachment issues.