It has been a long road...

One year ago on March 9, 2009 scared, nervous, excited I started a journey. This is the day I left the safety and comfort of my home and my country to find my daughter. When you travel somewhere alone there is a small amount of uncertainty that I believe everyone experiences whether or not they want to admit this. I traveled to Russia to met a little girl in the hopes that she was the child that I was dreaming of for so many years.

I remember settling in on the airplane hoping my dreams would not be tarnished, hoping that I was making the right decision in uncharted water and praying that God would give me the strength to hold a child who I did not carry for a short time while guiding my decisions. The thought of leaving her for an undetermined amount of time was difficult but the act of walking out of the orphanage without her made my body ache all over. I laugh now because when I did return for my court date the coordinator remembered me not for my blond hair (from a bottle) or the fact that traveled so far alone to make the biggest life altering decision I would ever make. She remembered me as the one who cried the whole time I was there.

I can laugh with tears in my eyes now but at the time the feelings and thoughts that I was thinking consumed every minute of my waking day. Believe it or not I have been accused of not "dealing with all the changes" well. My response to that was how could you know what it felt like? Once I was home I focused long and hard at finishing the required paperwork so that I could travel as quickly as possible. I did my best to have patience with each set back, first issues with obtaining my home study agency's license then the biggest blow breaking my arm.

The road back to Anna was a long one way longer then I ever thought I could endure when I first started this journey to adopt. In retrospect the delays were put in my path to do just that delay my departure. Had I not had those delays I could have been faced with the challenge of appearing in court with a long arm cast to which I can not be sure that I would have ever been blessed with the gift that the Russian government has given me...Anna. Had the delays not occurred at each bend in the road I might have been back to work and unable to be with my Mother as she faced lung cancer.

It has been a long road that I traveled to become Anna's Mother. This kind of hit me today as I was in the park walking on a trail with Anna. Watching her run ahead then stop and look back for me to be with her. The road ahead may have twists and turns bumps and perhaps a couple of ditches but I think I am better for having each challenge in my path. Seeing Anna smile helps to ease my grief over missing her first 23 months of life. I look in the picture above and see there is a road ahead hope for the future, laughter to hear, smiles to give and receive. Things happen for a reason sometimes the reason is not clear at first glance but the plan is not mine.