It has been awhile my old friend

Life has been busy. I know it is the same old story but it really has been busy. This post may sound a lot like nothing to most but I feel the need to write a little bit today about my feelings. The other day someone mentioned the word blog without knowing I was a blogger. I felt a tingle in my gut. I have loved this blog from the day I started it and lately I have not been a very good blogger. This got me thinking about why I had dropped off the blogging train. The first thing that came to my mind was I am just a little no I am a lot sad that Russia has stopped allowing adoptions to the parents in the United States. My gut is in a knot for the children who are left behind. I often think that it could have been me. I could be the one feeling the sadness that those parents are feeling now.

On some level I feel guilty...why me? How come I was able to complete my adoption of Anna? The answer is it was just meant to be. It was God's plan. I will not lie I miss reading stories about other who have gotten paperwork completed, a referral or travel dates. Knowing that real families can be formed through adoption is something that only a very small percentage of people can truly understand. I feel so blessed to be able to hold my little girl...okay now I am crying.

Fast forward to our Daisy meeting the other night. There is a little girl in the meeting that is quite sweet and has been a friend of Anna's for a couple of years. The last two meeting I have noticed that she has gone out of her way to be mean to Anna. Anna keeps trying to sit next to her and partner up with her but it is met with a sour face or unkind words. During the meeting the Mother asked me in front of everyone if Anna and Nicole were having a problem? I was a little taken back by this that she thought this was the right place and the right time for this discussion. Then she informed me that another mother from last years preschool class does not like me at all again in front of everyone. I ignored the comment then and moved on with the meeting. She then implied that Anna had something to do with her daughter having a bathroom accident. I shut her down and told her we could talk later.

On one level I have a very thick skin but on another level I am really quite fragile inside as I think many people are. I talked with my sister about it and she agreed that this was not the time or place to discuss any of those topics because there were seven little girls who were listening.

Today I had to drop something off to this mother. As I was leaving I asked her to please come to me privately if there is a problem between the girls. I told her that I never want either of them to be put on the spot. She agreed. I also told her that if someone does not like me that she can also keep that to herself. Her response was as a child she was taught that if she heard someone talking about another that it was her job to make sure that this person knows.

I was floored. I asked her what if that person thought that the comments were hurtful? She said that it was how she was brought up. I guess this interaction really highlights how differently we were all raised. I was always told that if it is something that might hurt another it was best to forget it and never mention it again. I just can not shake this feeling that she was intending to hurt me. Certainly there are plenty of people who do not like me. I am not sure what the value is in knowing about these random people's feeling of me are. I am honestly not sure if I am more hurt knowing that this random person does not like me or am I hurt because of this person who I thought was my friend wanted to make sure that I knew I was not like.

This has me concerned about the relationship of our daughters. I feel like I have lost trust in this parent. I guess we will see how this plays out. Forgiveness is an easy word to say but something a difficult thing to achieve. I need to work on shaking that negative feeling and to forgive more easily and freely.

One thing that I have taken away from this interaction is I have to be even more valiant to teach Anna my beliefs. I want her to be kind, honest, and compassionate. This is a good lesson to remind me that I need to teach her to be all of those things.

In the words of my very wise younger sister...If you are not going to try to lift me up please do not push me down.

Our first Daisy meeting and first trophey

Last night was our first official Daisy meeting. I am sure that I was more nervous that Anna. Believe it or not I was never in the Girl Scouts. I know it seems strange to me as well. We discussed what the troop has planned for this year and talked about possible outing and events. I really do like the program. It has a good philosophy about helping and caring for others while taking responsibility for your own behavior and actions.

We did a little craft. Anna's did not quite turn out the way I had planned but this is her craft not mine.

 

 

 

The other day as I was getting ready to pick Anna up from school I got a phone call telling me that Anna had won an award. I quickly texted Gerard to tell him that he had to take Anna to the ceremony because I had to work. Well as luck would have it I was put on call. Apparently, Anna drew or colored a poster for fire prevention week that won first prize. I have not seen the poster yet but I am so proud of her. When I asked her about the poster she looks at me with a blank look. She has no clue what I am talking about. I can not wait to see the poster.

 

 

In other news we have been reading, reading and more reading every night. I have made multiple trips to the library for new books. I really and trying my best to read with her everyday for at least 30 minutes. Some days it is longer. I am really happy with her progress. I really feel like waiting to enroll her into kindergarten was honestly the best decision I have made.

 

 

I will say that Anna is struggling with missing her old teacher. I am kind of glad to see this because she had been Anna's teacher for three years. I worried that keeping her in the same class for all three years may be a problem but I think it was actually good for Anna. So that is the update for now. Once I get the poster I will share it. I am so proud of her. 

Another blast from the past...pumpkin picking

This was the weekend that Gerard had 4 days off in a row. He has a very strange schedule in my opinion where he works 5 days off for one, works 5 days off for two and works 5 days off for 4. All of this from a person who NEVER works the same days of the week ever. I actually like it but him not so much.

Well this was his 4 day weekend. Friday was great because we both got to take Anna to school. Gerard and I had lunch out together. Saturday was a wash. I got upset early in the day and could not get myself together for the rest of it, then I was off to work. Sunday afternoon they woke me up and we decided that pumpkin picking was the plan for the day.

We decided to go to the same farm that we went to when Anna was first home. I showed her the pictures that I had posted here of the blog (thank you blog). She laughed and wanted to recreate them. So we did our best. I was surprised how beautiful the pumpkins were this year.

 

Conte Farms 2013

 

 

Conte Farms, September 2009

 

 

 

 

In other news Gerard made it to I am not sure how many Facebook pages on Sunday. He totally photo bombed a group of 20-30 years olds who were out picking pumpkins. I was laughing too hard to snap a picture myself. He stood out like a sore thumb because Gerard is neither tattooed nor pierced. I have a few friends who have both but it is not something that we ever got into ourselves. I think we must be getting old because I had to explain what a photo bomb was to him...sigh.

 

Tradition!

After downloading my camera the other day I realized that I did not blog about our yearly August tradition. Pictures at the old school. The first year Anna was home I took her and my mother to the one room school house were she went to school as a child. The beach is just up the street so I do really enjoy going there.

I think it is amazing to see how much she has grown.

 

 

August 2009

 

 

 

August 2010

 

August 2011

 

 

August 2012

 

 

August 2013

 

 

Indian Summer

It seems that I am downloading my camera less and less these days. The other day the weather was so beautiful. We decided to head to the park. Well when we got there we were on only people at the park. I am fun but it the park is so much better when other kids are there to play with. So we ended up at the beach instead. The water was a bit cool but that did not stop my girl. She chatted up some surfers and told them that she also had a surf board. She keeps asking when she can learn to surf. Well since neither Gerard or I surf I guess it will be when you can swim strongly and I find someone to teach you.

Here are the pictures for that day.

 

 

I do love Indian summer!

Play Safe

I found this cute little drawing in Anna's bag. I am guessing it was from health class because in the corner it reads "play safe." I just love her drawing.

Another week

has slipped away. I am not sure if I ever blogged about Anna's new doll house. Gerard had been shopping for a shed for his garden stuff. Our garage was feeling a little stuffed to him. I will not mention that I told him years ago that we needed a shed...I guess I just did. So he had decided on an 8x10 shed. I resisted. Really I wanted a bigger shed so that we could also have a play house. He blames pinterest I just say it was good planning.

We ended up with an 8x16 foot shed that we cut in half. Part of it houses his garden tools and stuff from the garage. The other half is Anna's new playhouse. We finished the inside with a loft for future use. I plan of putting a small futon mattress up there to make a reading area. He finished the walls in a white bead board. Our friends laughed when I said I wanted hardwood floors, a chandler, and a doorbell. Well it is all complete minus a real hardwood floor. We ended up with a floating floor that looks like wood. This was a compromise that I am okay with. Now the big decision is what to put into the playhouse. I love how it turned out. Hopefully I will be able to post pictures soon.

I have also decided to sign Anna up for Daisies. I am so excited about this. I was never in Girl Scouts but it was something I remember wanting do so badly. Hopefully Anna will love it. I also have decided to become the leader. I have an interview and a background check but once that is complete I will be the leader. My new pinterest board is filling up with crafty ideas for the girls.